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Choose Life..Aug 23 '01 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line I was a sick and suffering child. I needed help but could not do it on my own. I believe I prayed and he heard me.
First of all, thank you all for your wonderful (and sad) reviews on cigarette smoking and cessation. I've read so many inspiring opinions by so many wonderful people, I just had to mention again how much I appreciate what you all have to share. If you've read any of my other epinions, you can see that I try to be health conscious, primarily because I am a chronic pain sufferer, but also because I have put down all abusive substances and try to do all I can on a daily basis to ensure that I won't pick up again. To date, there remains a great deal of stress on my platter, and if I do not maintain a healthy balance on a daily basis, I could easily see myself resorting to a quick fix, like a cigarette for instance, probably my favorite (ex)addiction. As of now, I have successfully refrained from picking up a cigarette for 6-1/2 years. Do I feel proud of my accomplishment?.. well sure, but to be truthful with you and myself, my reaction is that of pure gratitude and elation, I was one addicted lady who didn't believe that she could do it. I believe for me, because I was willing to do the footwork, God heard my prayers of desperation and helped carry me thru a difficult period of quitting cigarettes and staying quit. I am not cured today, I arrest it on a daily basis as I said thru awareness, behavior modification, healthy living, prayer, and a lot of soul searching as to who I am, what I'm about, and what's important to me. I also have two young ones at home who are very dependent on me and who deserve the very best parent(s) they can have. I can't even think about the devastating effects this would have on them if they saw me pick up cigarettes again. Thank you God for keeping me safe. I am 40 years old (young) today. I take care of myself, I am a mother, I work a fulltime job, I am reliable, strong, healthy and independent. My children are happy, stable children today and they love me. There was a time folks years ago, when I was none of these things. I am what is described as an "addictive personality". Suffice to say my life was unmanageable and I needed help. I pieced my life together via baby steps and am the proud woman I am today. There was a time near my bottom I can recall actually picking up cigarette butts off the ground and lighting them up - talk about addiction - BLEK! I forget about these things sometimes, I am glad to have the opportunity to share my experiences with you here. My smoking habit (among other things) was up to a 2 pack a day Camel straight smoker, talk about a death wish huh? How does one come down from such a high toxic level??.. I didn't know. What I did know was that I was tired of how I was feeling, tired of shelling out tons of $$ on these stupid coffin nails, tired of seeing those I cared about lives being cut short, tired, tired, tired.... Some of my close friends in a recovery program had successfully managed to quit smoking, I didn't know if I could do it or not, but I was happy for them and had an interest in knowing how they did it. There are those who go cold turkey. This style is simply not for me. My addiction was just too high. My first serious attempt to be honest was sort of a preparation, a practice run if you will. Fortunately, my local area hospital had a smoking cessation program available to anyone interested. There was a reasonable fee, and if you couldn't afford this fee, they tried to work with you anyways to get you in there. This is the sign of a truly devoted support group. It was a great program offering support from other folks in the same boat, valuable information on smoking and how to quit, instruments to help guage your progress every week, such as a "breathometer' which you simply blew into it to see how much lung power you had. After each week of not smoking, the meter would read a higher number. They also tested carbon monoxide levels in your system via an electrode thing affixed to your finger, these readings also improved each week you got tested. They even had a pair of pigs lungs to show you - one with lung cancer and one clear lung - a real eye opener alrightee! Patches were offered, lots of great literature to bring home, and phone numbers to use at home when you needed to share with somebody. It was a great resource! Although I felt badly not sticking it out the first attempt, it certainly did a good job at planting the seed. I could not smoke the same again, the guilt was unbearable. I DID NOT WANT TO SMOKE and still I was smoking. They offered some great advice on how to prepare for the big event, such as switching brands of cigarettes, not smoking as much, breaking the 'habit cigarette' such as after a shower, upon awakening, after a meal, etc. They tried to push the psychological aspect of the addiction as well as the physical. My entire day was planned around a cigarette afterall! It's a lot of work turning your entire life around, but with babysteps it can be done! I slowly came to realize that by changing a few behaviors, taking better care of myself, and utilizing support systems such as a group and the patch, it was possible for even me a diehard 20 year heavy smoker to say goodbye to this killer habit. I did not really believe it for real tho til after 3 days of not smoking, and then I came to the realization that I wasn't craving one so badly. I wasn't jumping out of my skin white knuckling anything, I was starting to feel pretty good. I recall being blown away at how good I was feeling after such a relatively short time - not unlike feeling reborn! They do say that the body starts healing itself very quickly as soon as you stop smoking. The body is an amazing instrument. Today to stay successful, I must exercise regularly, watch my stress level and how I handle people, places and things that threaten my wellbeing, this may be the toughest challenge of all in my life these days. I must keep my addictions up front and center so they don't sneak in the backdoor and pull the rug out. Anger, soul sickness, depression - ALL BAD.. they are luxuries I can't afford. Gotta let it go! I am relatively happy and healthy today. I do not want to turn back to those difficult days when I didn't feel so good, or healthy or young, when walking to the store was a chore, when I felt stagnant, unambitious and tired all the time. Yes, I suffer from other things, but there are things I can do so I do feel some control over my life. You don't need to be a responsible parent to quit, you don't have to have one foot in the grave to quit, you don't even have to WANT to quit to be successful. I didn't want to quit when I did - this profound statement was a revelation to me. I knew it was time to quit and despite my inner objections, I was successful anyways, cuz I knew it was time for me to put them down. SMOKING WAS NOT AN OPTION ANYMORE... What do I do with myself now that I don't smoke?.. I chew a lot of sugarless gum, I exercise a lot, I breathe, walk, run, smell things, taste things, I smell good, my senses are sharper, I have more energy, more interest, I do not feel owned by a substance, I am in control, I live a better quality of life and so my friends can you..... www.getoutraged.com  |
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