DISCLAIMER: the fact that I wrote the content below indicates that I'm fairly arrogant. However, I feel that the piece is also accurate. I welcome your comments, but if all you're going to do is call me a jackass, you're too late. I've been briefed.

I really began to enjoy writing pieces on products that I like. Sitting on the left like I do, I view lots of consumer options as absolute scams, so it was refreshing to have a forum where I can pretend that my opinions mean anything. However, I've increasingly become disenchanted with the way this whole thing works. The Beta Version did nothing to address my chief complaint. Here it comes:

Whenever someone rates a piece of mine, I do that person the courtesy of reading one of his/her works. I also browse a bit. I don't know why it's become more of a concern of late, but I've become very displeased with the quality of the writing here and the less-than-objective judgement that it receives. Awful submissions with no grammar or punctuation get "Very Helpful" ratings. Reviews with absolutely no insight into the product are afforded similar treatment.

I'm not a terribly popular reviewer, but I've always tried to use decent prose and follow basic rules of English. I feel that the ratings I've received have been largely very impartial-- "VHs" when I make an effort, and "Helpfuls" when I mail it in. However, I see lots of people who do a half-assed job consistently, generate a ton of hits and still receive an "VH" rating. Something's amiss here. I realize that the real goal of this site is market research for corporations, but the execution of the user end has begun to gnaw at me.

I've cashed out my account and no more reviews will be forthcoming. It's better for all of us. Before I go, here are my suggestions to make this forum tolerable:

1. Make an effort to use rules of style. Check your grammar-- read your own piece back to yourself word-for-word. That's respecting your audience.

2. If a review stinks, rate it appropriately. If you're afraid of negative feedback that might hurt your revenue, that makes you a prostitute. If you're afraid of offending, you're undermining what this site purports to be about. (ADDENDUM: Originally, I had used a synonym for "prostitute," well-known, beginning with "w" and rhyming with "oar." Epinions says that I can't use it even though it's proper English and hardly profane.)

3. On your member page, say something interesting or don't say anything at all. It's hard for me to be impartial when you tell me about your offspring first. It tells me that you're perhaps not worldly enough for your opinion to matter. If your crowning achievement is that you've managed to reproduce too many times, your genetic material wasn't worth replicating in the first place. A side note to those of you bragging about filling up the world with your poison brood-- two kids is enough for anyone. (And no, I don't hate kids; I work with them every day and enjoy their company. I just don't care about your kids.)

4. Stick to real reviews of real products. Just because there's a forum to write reviews on marriage or taking care of pets doesn't mean that you should use it. I could rail against Republicans at the laundromat, but I don't because the only people who would care are me, the management of the place and the police.

That's about it. It feels great to get that off my chest. If you're one of the people whose reviews I've enjoyed, thanks for your efforts. If you're part of the problem, good riddance.

Recommended: No