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Helping College Students to Make Sense of the Tragedy and TerrorismSep 14 '01 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line How do we explain and deal with grief and begin to heal?
**Revenue from this Epinion will be donated to the American Red Cross.** The events of Tuesday, September 11, 2001 will be on our minds for a long time to come. Dealing with my own feelings and emotions seemed to pale in comparison to the number of college students who came to my office after hearing of Tuesday's tragedy. Faces of fear, shock, disbelief, anger, rage, and sorrow were like an endless sea outside the hallways of the campus on Tuesday. I attended a pray meeting on Tuesday evening that was held on the campus where I found hundreds of freshman and sophomore students who were living in the college dorms searching for answers and looking to their professors for support and guidance. I am sure that most would not like to admit it, but I am sure that many of these young students were wishing to be home, near their parents. By Wednesday, I had a dozen international and ethnic minority students coming to see me. Afraid to go to classes, fearing that their American classmates might in some way hold them responsible for what happened. Muslim students shared with me their terror, after hearing comments like, "We should nuke those Muslims", or "All Muslims are guilty," being expressed not only by their classmates, but by some professors as well. I had placed a picture of a group of Muslims in Bangladesh praying for peace, showing their overwhelming support to Bush, and sorrow for what has happened in our nation on my office door. I placed the caption underneath, "FYI: Not all Muslims are terrorists." A colleague had stopped to look at the picture and he made the statement, "Well, those M-----F----er's should be afraid, we could nuke them all and leave nothing but sand and rubble behind." I asked him how he could even say such a thing. He told me that he believed all Muslims should be held accountable for Tuesday's attack on America. My friends, I can tell you, that at that moment, I felt ashamed for being an American. For if this is the sentiment of the people of this country, then I wish to lay no claim to my citizenry! On Thursday, the University held a campus wide event on the lawn as a memorial to Tuesday's tragedy. I was asked to say a few words to the thousands present. I wish to share with you today what I said in hopes that it will somehow be a comfort for you and to your children as we grieve for the many lives lost this week. "My name is Cathy Jo Faruque and I am a professor in the Social Work Program. There are many people in this city that know me as Cathleen Josephine Cieminski. For you see, I was born in this city. As any Polish American child growing up here, I was baptized and raised to be Catholic, and to this day, I am a member of the same Polish Catholic Church where I was baptized. But today, as I stand before you, I tell you that I am a Muslim. For you see, my husband is a Muslim, so I too, lay claim to this religious heritage. I want you to take a good, hard, long look at me. For if today, in your heart, you have hate for the Muslim people, then you also have hate me. If you wish to take revenge on the Muslim people, then take your revenge out on me. Do not attack our foreign students, do not attack those Muslims who migrated here and who have chosen to make this country their home. If you wish to do so, then come for me first. Let them, these people without the support of family and friends who are miles away in a distant land, stand behind me. For I have the support of many, and if you wish to attack me, then you will be attacking many. Today, my worst fears came to pass. On my way to campus, I heard on the radio that some young Arab children were verbally attacked in their middle school. I heard that many Arabs in the United States are afraid to go to work, school, the grocery store or gas station for fear of retaliation. Retaliation for a crime that they did not commit or condone. As each of you have experienced, so have I experienced and run the gamut of emotions these past few days. I remember initially watching the television news coverage in utter disbelief and horror. Going to work felt like an anti-climax. I spent the day walking and functioning in a daze, totally in shock. It wasn't until later in the evening, that I became enraged. Angered at the people who could do this thing. I kept asking myself why? How could this happen, it shouldn't happen, it isn't supposed to happen, not here, not now, not in America. I was angry with the American airports and I asked myself, why have we been so lax in security. I was enraged at our government for failing to recognize the warning signs, for certainly there were warning signs. By Wednesday, I felt a great deal of shame. I was ashamed for wanting to do my normal routine. Dishes still had to be washed, meals prepared, laundry done, bills to pay, and classes to be prepared for. The events of Tuesday were just another thing to add to my already overloaded pile. I was ashamed to be American. When I heard comments like, "Let's nuke them" or "All those Arabs are crazy." Comments I could not identify with, nor will I ever be able to understand. For this is just pure hate, as pure a hate as that expressed by the persons who committed these terrorist acts. Finally, a sense of dread and fear has come over me and I find my heart is very heavy as I speak with you today. I feel fear for the innocent people who have become or will become a target of our displaced rage and anger. Fear that our foreign students, far away from their home and loved ones, would not feel safe, even here, in this place, a community where we supposedly teach tolerance and understanding. I think it is important for each of us to acknowledge our own feelings and emotions. Accept them, yes, even embrace them. For these very emotions are what make us human. To the extent that it is possible, remember that our emotions do not have to become actions, and that acting in a time of heightened emotion is when we are most likely to regret what we have done. There should be comfort in the knowledge that these intense, powerful, overwhelming and ever painful emotions will subside with time. Certainly the memories of Tuesday will never go away from our minds and our hearts, but the pain will diminish, if we truly allow ourselves to have the luxury of healing. Each of us should feel that it is okay to still enjoy our life. It is okay to relax, it is okay to watch something else on television than the news, it is okay to do the things that you would normally do and to go on living your life. No one is asking any one of us to stop living. Indeed, it is our own daily routines that help us to heal. It is okay to feel vulnerable. It is times like this that we have the opportunity to become closer to each other, not farther apart. There are many people who understand your pain, and there are many more that are willing to offer their comfort, their love, and their support. As hard as it may be to look at this now, we need to prepare ourselves for change. This is an opportunity for new beginnings, a new way of looking at our world, a time for self reflection and self discovery. It is with pain, anguish, and hurt, that we are able to discover and find new opportunities, develop new ways of thinking, find deeper meaning and understanding, and change, lots and lots of change. Each of us, as we embark on our own personal journeys of growth and discovery need to contemplate that healing will truly begin when we have the capacity to forgive, when we seek to understand all sides of a question, no matter how painful the answers may be, and when we express and nurture compassion. I leave you with this thought from Ghandi during the troubling times of 1936: 'I have found that life persists in the midst of destruction and therefore, there must be a higher law than that of destruction. Only under that law would a well-ordered society be intelligible and life worth living.' Thank you and God Bless."  |
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