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"HOW TO USE ATM'S, TAXIS, AND BORDELLOS IN VENEZUELA"
by JAMES23 | Sep 21 '01
A tale of Bank Machines, Lawn Chairs, A Broken Bus, Shotguns, Brothels, Cab Drivers, Beer, and a guest appearance by Right Said Fred and the New York Rangers.

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Comments on "HOW TO USE ATM'S, TAXIS, AND BORDELLOS IN VENEZUELA"" (13 total)  
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Date Written
Have you ever thought of writing a book (Reply to this comment)
by kiltman-graham
I have just read your MI review and it had me in stitches (mainly because I fell of the chair while reading it and banged my head ! ) have you ever thought of writing a book, I would buy it.

I hear the video clip is now on the net, what is the link (*_*)
Dec 18 '05
12:59 pm PST

Re: rhino+repartee (Reply to this comment)
by JAMES23
Pauly, nah I leave those to you.

James
Sep 23 '01
12:13 pm PDT

rhino repartee (Reply to this comment)
by sumo_rhino

James, James, James:

I relish the opportunity to comment on this review. And I suspect you've been mentally cringing . . . waiting for the moment when you'd logon and find a remark from me.

*Sigh.*

Well, here it is. And it's lame.

That's right.

You've successfully stymied my once-proud skill of "rhino repartee."

* * *

Boxers, huh? I figured with all your speedo references you might be a bikini briefs kind of guy.

- Pauly
Sep 23 '01
12:01 pm PDT

Re: This+clinches+it... (Reply to this comment)
by JAMES23
But I thought we were going to Cuba. I've booked off the two weeks already! BTW do we really have to take the spouses along?

Yeah I guess you're right someone has to be there to post bail. Tom usually screws it up. Besides he'll be away with that Pierre guy who keeps calling me for his new number. Something about dental floss and coconuts, I think.

James
James
Sep 22 '01
6:41 pm PDT

Re: More+fun+than+washing+a+poodle+in+Jello! (Reply to this comment)
by JAMES23
Not knowing just how much fun washing a poodle in jello is, having done it, I don't know how to take this. I don't even own a dog, but I've heard washing them is hard messy work and not fun at all. I presume therefore that it's kind of at the low end of the fun scale and therefore anything is more fun that it.

I could be wrong though. Perhaps the poodle aspect makes it fun, or maybe using jello instead of water. I'm curious though as jello is rather messy in and of itself, doesn't this negate the whole washing exercise. Jeez and they say I'm weird.

BTW I honour the Galaxie 500. A local auto dealer had a row of honour of all the one's my old man wrecked way back in the 1960's and 1970's in his junk yard. About a half a dozen totaled and he walked away without a scratch each time.

James
Sep 22 '01
6:37 pm PDT

Re: Could+you+please+... (Reply to this comment)
by JAMES23
They're not my friends, at least he isn't. He lied and broke the male code.

Can you have a copy, NO.

Even if you promised not to put it on the net, still NO.

Even if I had a copy to give you, Again still NO.

Thanks for stopping by Ada, always a pleasure to hear of your helpful suggestions.

James
Sep 22 '01
6:27 pm PDT

Could you please ... (Reply to this comment)
by AdaDavis
tell me how to contact your friends? I can tell them how to reformat that video into an mpeg that can be put on the internet B-]

Now, this was entertaining, as well as informative!
Sep 22 '01
3:05 pm PDT

More fun than washing a poodle in Jello! (Reply to this comment)
by queenofallevil
Wow...this sure took a while to get through, but I loved every minute of it! Thanks soooo much for the giggles tonight...the visual images you gave me could keep me in stitches for a week!

This was one hell of a travel review...keep up the good work!

P.S.: Don't knock the Ford Galaxie 500! I owned one myself...(1966 4 door hard top). I rebuilt the short block in it myself, and maaaaan...lemme tell ya, the standard 390 engine those puppies came with can really fly! (Braking is a whole different issue, though...!)

All The Best!,

Val
Sep 22 '01
12:58 pm PDT

Re: WOW! (Reply to this comment)
by JAMES23
Tom last 2 weeks in November. Bring spare passport and 1-800 numbers for AI.

James
Sep 22 '01
7:23 am PDT

Re: I'll+post+that+bail...and+raise+you+a+bolivar! (Reply to this comment)
by JAMES23
Mark are you suggesting that this review was not helpful to the consumer/traveller?

There's plenty of useful information here.

1-Information on relative hotel rooms and safety hazards inherent in them.

2-How & how not to properly use ATMs.

3- Basic Taxi etiquette.

4- Valuable information on the airport.

5- Sports bar etiquette.

6- Dangers to avoid at All Inclusives especially at night.

I'd rate this MH myself, but the nice people in the white coats say it's time for my meds again.

Gracias amigo.

James

Sep 22 '01
7:20 am PDT

WOW! (Reply to this comment)
by thom413
James, I really have a feeling that we'll need to host a BIG write-off to raise the kind of bail you'll need. You party like a trooper, buddy, and that's no lie.

Can I come next time? I'll bring the PayPal account codes and Amnesty International's fax number. And beer - okay, Canadian beer, since you insist.

Why am I so tired?!?

Best regards,

Tom

PS - I KNOW the kitty will love this.
Sep 22 '01
6:59 am PDT

I'll post that bail...and raise you a bolivar! (Reply to this comment)
by mrkstvns, mrkstvns is an Advisor on Epinions in Hotels & Travel
This was one hilarious piece of writing. Not sure that I know anything more about health & safety in venezuela than I knew before reading it, but what the heck...it's all good, clean fun (well, sort of...)

Later,
Mark
Sep 22 '01
6:41 am PDT

Sorry..... (Reply to this comment)
by JAMES23
....didn't realise how long this puppy was. 5,700+ words it appears even my incoherant ramblings has no limits. I considered splitting it in two parts but couldn't find a logical break. Cudos to those who actually read through the whole thing. There's a special prize for you all.Yup you get to post the bail for my next "research trip."

Finally this one is dedicated to a certain bad little kitty cat.

James
Sep 21 '01
6:03 pm PDT