A Strike, A Cell Phone, And A Broken Heart
Oct 07 '01
The Bottom Line What's more important, your cell phone or your child? If you don't know, I'm sorry, but I cannot help you!
The bowling ball rolled ever so slowly down the lane, heading straight into strike territory. Not “too perfect”, just off centre, with just enough speed to it to send all five pins flying. A strike! The nine year old boy, exhilaration and pride almost palpable, hands high in the air in celebration, turned to look for his father. Searching in vain, the boy slowly lowered his hands, and dejectedly walked back to his seat, half-heartedly high-fiving myself, my children and my husband as he did so. His father? At the other end of the bowling alley, ear solidly connected to a cell phone, his back to his son.
Throughout the two hours that my son’s five pin bowling team bowled this day, not once did the boy’s father acknowledge his son’s presence. Not once did he smile at his son. No words of encouragement… no words of praise. He walked back and forth through the building, continuously talking on his cell phone to someone he obviously thought was more important than his son. The boy tried in vain, time and again, to get his father’s attention. Whenever his turn was over he ran to find his father, trying to talk to him, trying to get him to notice him. All to no avail. My children noticed this all happening, commented to me on the man’s continuous phone call, and made sure they cheered their friend on even harder.
Showing your children affection isn’t just hugs, kisses, and “I love you’s”. It’s being there when they need you, showing interest in their activities. Its tousled hair, and a secret wink at an “inside joke”. It’s baking cookies together for special occasions, and playing Monopoly, and high-fives for strikes, spares, and gutter balls. Its talking, and more importantly, listening.
Affection is sending a special treat in your child’s school lunch, “just because”. It’s a tickle when they need a smile, and a hug when they’re feeling down. Its helping them with their homework, and reading “Love You Forever” a million times. A child can feel your affection in the way you gently bandage their “owies”, or tenderly wipe away a tear. Affection is having your son hold your hand in a parking lot, and letting him let go when you enter the store, “cause someone might see us mom”.
Showing affection is telling your children how they fill your heart, and how very nice it is to have them there with you.
My children brought up the events at the bowling alley later that evening at the dinner table. They felt that it wasn’t right for their friend’s father to talk on the phone the whole time and ignore his son. They thought that their friend probably didn’t feel very good about what had happened, and that he probably thought his dad didn’t love him very much. They also said that they were very glad that their mom and dad didn’t do things like that.
Now, perhaps this man had a very important phone call that really needed to be taken care of right then and there. If that were the case I would completely understand. But I couldn’t help but overhear bits of this “important conversation”. As the man would stand beside me, his back to his son, I would hear snippets of conversation such as “what bar do you want to go to tonight?”
At one point as he walked past me I overheard him say “nobody said I was the smartest guy in the world”.
Ain’t that the truth.
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Member: Beverley
Location: Canada
Reviews written: 290
Trusted by: 419 members
About Me:
So good to be home, but so very tired!
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