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Re: Re: We lost a great friend. (Reply to this comment)
by auldbawl1
Thank you Mike. He looked like the friendly, caring guy he was. We will miss him greatly.
Rick
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Nov 05 '01
1:39 pm PST
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Re: We lost a great friend. (Reply to this comment)
by clubber63366
If you'd like to know what he looked like, 29th_candidate has a picture of Mark on his bio page or go to www.baue.com obits/guestbook and search the last name Arnold.
His brother ,
Mike
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Nov 03 '01
6:32 pm PST
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In agreement (Reply to this comment)
by hikini
Though most of us never met Mark in person, we all felt as if we'd known him at some level. I'm sure we are all feeling that we have lost a great friend and the world has lost a great person. But the afterlife has gained a fun-loving person that will teach them all about bodily functions they'd never dreamed of!
Hikini :-0
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Nov 03 '01
3:03 pm PST
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We lost a great friend. (Reply to this comment)
by auldbawl1
You speak for many of us Matt in this tribute. It's hard to deal with the loss of someone you feel you know so well ~ yet have no idea what he looked like. At least we got a feel for his soul, his wisdom, his humor, his courage. In those ways we are the winners just for getting to know him.
Rick
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Oct 26 '01
1:09 pm PDT
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unpleasant surprise (Reply to this comment)
by AlexG
Once in a blue moon I decided to check out some Epinions reviews, and ...
This took me by surprise. Hard to believe. Very sad.
Alex.
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Oct 25 '01
3:11 pm PDT
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This (Reply to this comment)
by msmorvay
was a touching tribute to a wonderful and funny man. You have shown your sensitivity and grace by writing this so beautifully.
()Rae
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Oct 23 '01
7:31 am PDT
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There are special places in heaven ~ (Reply to this comment)
by Cate1956
For Mothers of three boys, for dogs and certain cats, but now there is a very special place in heaven for the lawyer that is you.
Mark's loss is felt deeply, and our hearts will never be the same.
What a lovely tribute, what a lovely friend.
A tiny x and a great big O,
Love,
Cate
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Oct 23 '01
3:38 am PDT
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I have nothing (Reply to this comment)
by ifif1938
more to add except my name to the many who will miss him too.....
Thank you for this inciteful and heartfelt tribute to someone that touched us all with his wit and compassion....
Barbara
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Oct 20 '01
1:54 pm PDT
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Oh, what a loss (Reply to this comment)
by acdc711
Mark (hard-to-please) was one of the reasons that I stayed on at E. I have not written for a long time, but today, after reading your review, learned that the man who "peed on the couch" is on another plain, to make others laugh. He will be missed by me, thats for sure. Hope all is well with you Matt. Good to be back!
Denise
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Oct 19 '01
5:41 am PDT
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Though Mark Requested... (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
...I deliver the tragic news of his death, and of his enormous gratitude for the epins community's kindness, it was only because I knew him personally, and by virtue of this, he felt reassured that I fully grasped the entire measure of, both "the agony & the ecstasy" (apologies to Michelangelo) he experienced before, during and after his horrible affliction changed his and all of our lives. I'm pleased to see that people, like you mattjoe, who he (and I, for that matter) consider(ed) a good & trusted friend, have picked up the ball since that horrible Wednesday, last week, when I dropped the bombshell of his departure on the tragedy-unprepared epinions members. For those who have not read it and are interested in finding out the facts surrounding HTP's death, here is the link to the review:
http://www.epinions.com/content_2237112452.
I hope that's okay with you, MJ. (If not, let me know, and I will delete this comment.)
"...The site tried to rally around Mark a few short weeks ago, I do hope that these actions brought some happiness to Mark in those months. There is no way what we all did could have brought to Mark the amount of happiness he brought us from the day before Christmas in 1999 when he joined, until the day he could no longer share with us his humor or his caring heart."
Mark seemed to disagree with your statement, Matt. On the contrary, the happiness and appreciation Mark felt for the community's rallying on his behalf, at times, even caused him to feel guilty, undeserving and unworthy of being blessed with such caring and loyal friends, he appreciated and enjoyed your (i.e., the community and your) camaraderie and support so much. This I tell you based on (many) conversations in which he expressed these sentiments to me.
That he (irrationally in my humble opinion) felt unworthy and undeserving of the love with which he was embraced, is indisputable, and in fact, worked to both Mark's and my detriment when he first learned of and first revealed to me (the same day) the nature and extent of his illness. I asked him a day or two later, after we both had time to assimilate the horror of his condition, if he planned to say anything about it on epinions, and he bristled at the very notion of it. There were only two other people to whom he planned to mention it, for personal reasons, and whose names I omit for the same reasons. For about a week and a half, I argued, cajoled, coaxed and persuaded Hard_To_Convince, to share his misfortune with his epinions friends, but he would have none of it. I eventually sought the persuasive support of one of those two previously-noted people to whom he had revealed his affliction, and he seemed to begin to cave in.
His main concern, was that he didn't not want to be or become a "wet-blanket poster boy" or to rain on the epinions community parade. He was also afraid he'd be given preferential and/or "handicapped person" special treatment, and he dreaded the thought of it. It would ruin the whole epinions experience for him as he had previously appreciated it, and he would have prefered quitting his membership before that happened.
I argued that by revealing his affliction humorously; in the "HTP humorous opinion to end all HTP humorous opinions," *HE* could, exercise personal control, to a large degree, on how that illness would be perceived by friends and epins members-- that he didn't *HAVE* to be perceived as an invalid. On the contrary, if he decided to just "up & disappear" without leaving a clue, not only would he lose the opportunity to manage the perception others had, but he would cause many; people for whom he cared greatly, much pain, sorrow and loss.
I also believed that, based on the sort of "people person" Mark was, and despite his fierce desire to protect his personal privacy and his generally shy and unassuming nature, the resulting show of love and support I believed Mark could count on from the community, would immeasurably bolster his spirits, distract him from the interminable presence and daunting awareness of his frightening illness, as well as rally him by giving him something to which he could daily look forward.
I knew how much he got off on interacting by way of reading reviews and responding with comments, because, a year ago last summer, we got into a minor scuffle when he jokingly blamed MY comment sections and me, specifically, "my (annoying) insistence on personally responding to each individual comment" (i.e., left in response to my reviews,) and my, as I recall his phrasing it, "treating my comment sections like a TV talk show," (i.e., rather than as a straight-up feedback area,) which, since he had first observed my doing so, (in my "Mission Implausible 2" movie review's comment section, which had 1,278 comments before it could no longer be accessed) made him feel guilty if he DIDN'T respond to all of his review-induced comments. This decision, he claimed with mock annoyance, "tripl(ed) his (review-related) workload."
He knew this was a soft-spot with me, because I expressed my displeasure over his (I felt) inordinate degree of amusement in response to my reluctantly confessing that I "had been reading and commenting on peoples' reviews over two full months before I decided to write one of my own." He later acknowledged that he had come to understand my quirky enjoyment of elaborate-commenting, because it had quickly grown to become one of his favorite activities here at epinions, so much so, that when I did not immediately respond to a comment he'd leave in one of my comment sections, or I did not immediately leave him a comment on his reviews after I'd graded them, he would take it quite personally, becoming snippy and uncommunicative until I had figured out my "transgression," without any assistance from him. Upon my rectifying my non-comment errors, life would proceed as though nothing had happened (or failed to have happened.)
I'm out of breath and ink, Matt buddy.
Cheers--
Jim (29th)
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Oct 17 '01
2:36 am PDT
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Great tribute Matt (Reply to this comment)
by emcphers
It's never going to seem right. I've went to his profile page more than once and looked at that profile pic of his. You can't help but laugh when you see it. Some of the things he wrote will live in my memory forever. His talent, I will always be jealous of. I wish I just had a pinch of the talent he had of taking anything he got his hands on and making it funny. Priceless!
Thanks Matt for you thoughts on this. You never cease to amaze me. This 'community' of epinions, never ceases to amaze me. All so close, yet so far away. Never meeting, yet knowing each other so well. I mean when a Sox fan and Yanks fan agrees so surely on a topic. Wonders will never cease!
We'll all meet one day when we leave this place and we'll automatically start congregating over in the corner after we pass through the gates. Of course, Mark is already got our little corner reserved. Hang on Mark, we're coming.
Erik
emcphers
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Oct 16 '01
12:02 pm PDT
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Thank you Matt (Reply to this comment)
by Lucky47
for a beautifully written editorial on one hell of a guy. He was truly one of a kind and gave so much happiness to so many with his personality. I too thought he'd get the chance to kick this monster aside for longer than he did, and I'm so very sad knowing he isn't here anymore. That's the selfish part, but he's in Heaven now pain free. It still stinks though. Thanks for this tribute to a wonderful guy that will be truly missed by so many.
Carol ~
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Oct 16 '01
4:39 am PDT
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Re: Mark+did+feel+special (Reply to this comment)
by AinsleyJo
My pleasure to introduce a nice guy like you!!!
The Got pee? hat. . .hmmmmmmmm. . .that wouldn't happen to be that infamous hat Mark was wearing in the hospital when Nurse Crabby came in and demanded that he do something kinky, was it!?!
Will be looking forward to reading your writings!!!
Hugs!
AJ :o)
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Oct 15 '01
3:42 am PDT
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Things to treasure (Reply to this comment)
by jgibson2
Hard_to_Please commments are definitely at the top of my list of treasures.
Do they let lawyers into heaven?
Haven't you heard the joke about the lawyer who appears before St. Peter shortly after his 30th birthday. When he asserts that there must be some error, they check the books. "Oops! You're right," says St. Peter. "We were looking at your billable hours."
Judy
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Oct 14 '01
9:01 pm PDT
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Mark did feel special (Reply to this comment)
by clubber63366
All the love and support Mark got from his epinions friends (more like epinion family) made him feel very special. He so appreciated the cards he received that they were proudly displayed in his house along with the gifts like the "got pee" hat. The outpouring he receive was a source of strength and hope. Thank you all very much.
To AJ - Thanks for the introduction. Yes, I will be writing soon and hope to get to know all of you very well.
Mike
HTP 's brother
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Oct 14 '01
7:17 pm PDT
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A Loss To Us All.. (Reply to this comment)
by meredi11
Mark will truly be a loss to us all who got the pleasure of getting to know him. I will miss those comments appearing, the e-mails I would receive just to check up on me.
When I learned of Mark's diagnosis, it was through a phone call from a member of Epinions on the other side of the country. I quickly sent him an e-mail to offer my shoulder has he had done so many times before for me. Close Epinions members become family to alot of us. Even though we have never met them face-to-face doesn't make the hurt any less.
Matt, I didn't know about Mark's passage into Heaven until reading this post and I am right now in tears.
He will be greatly missed.
Thank you for a wonderful tribute, Matt!!
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Oct 14 '01
12:04 pm PDT
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Re: Matt,+buddy+.+.+. (Reply to this comment)
by AinsleyJo
Pauly--
When it was eleven in the morning Anderson, Indiana time yesterday, it was ten in the morning O'Fallon, Missouri time.
This was the time that Mark's memorial mass was set to start.
In his honor, I held off going to pee until eleven--then, I peed and thought of him!!!
Kinda like military rights for a veteran, I guess!!!
What a thing to be remembered for!!!
In the past few days, I've thought of Mark everytime I've peed. :o)
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Oct 14 '01
3:17 am PDT
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Matt, buddy . . . (Reply to this comment)
by sumo_rhino
I'll never forget the day I read Mark's "crabs" Epinion. I was dumbfounded. I'd clicked over to him on that occasion because several reviews I had just read (in Annexation's chaos series) listed Mark as the funniest.
It had been a while since I had enjoyed his awesome humor. So, I thought I'd brighten my day.
I had admired him and rejoiced when I received e-mail or comments from him, and suddenly something was terribly wrong in the world. A horrible injustice had selected another manifestation.
I'm still chilled about the comment I left on that review in light of developments since. But, I'd still have to leave it if I could dial back time.
Of course, if I could dial back time, I'd go back really far and warn Mark to get tested super-early. Defeat the %&#(@$! cancer before it made itself at home!
(Also, I didn't know about Mark's passing until I read your review.)
- Pauly
P.S. I'm lighting a candle tonight, Mark. And, when I get home tonight, under the cover of darkness, with the open sky above, I'll pee in the grass just for you, dude4me!
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Oct 13 '01
6:48 pm PDT
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The 29th_Edge (Reply to this comment)
by AinsleyJo
If I hadn't already given my Most Helpful in this category to Epinions.com's own Tom Cruise, I would have given it to you!!!
But I would also be giving it to everybody else who wrote wonderful tributes to Mark, which I'm now starting to read!!!
His memorial service started at eleven in the morning Anderson, Indiana time, and I made it a point to hold my pee until it was that time and then got right into the bathroom and peed, thinking of him the entire time!!!
I, too, will miss writing to and getting e-mail from that wonderful dude4u address! I always did think that was such a neat name he'd picked out for himself.
I'm just glad that his brother, Mike, is about to become active in our community. For those reading this who don't know, his username is:
clubber63366
and his e-mail is:
bmedad@yahoo.com
So far, he hasn't written anything here (except comments) but plans to very soon.
At the time of my leaving this comment, this is his up-to-fifteen-words:
Hard_to_please 's little brother .... Miss you bro!
and this is what he's written so far in his larger description:
My kids: Brett (soon to be 11) …is as fiercely independent as his Uncle Mark…cautious and quiet…thinks he is Tony Hawk on his skateboard…from my first marriage..... Molly (turns 9 on Oct. 15)…also from my first marriage…strong and loving…knows right and stands up for it no matter the consequences…a dancer..... Emily Rose (3 ½ )…with my current, future and forever wife…full of energy…stands up for things right or wrong, just to disagree :) …a survivor (began life at 1lb. 15 oz.)..... David (born to us Aug. 4th)…very content and quiet…still getting to know him
As you can see from what he wrote, Molly turns nine this coming Monday. I know she loved her Uncle Mark dearly, meaning that her birthday won't be a completely happy one, no matter what.
But I think it would be helpful if she would get a birthday card shower at her dad's address!!!
And be sure to make sure that Mike feels very welcome here!!! He won't "replace" his brother, but I'm sure that he'll be a great writer and friend in his own right!!!
Hopefully, various other members of Mark's family will also become a part of us. We need to take care of each other!!! =)
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Oct 13 '01
12:33 pm PDT
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Matt (Reply to this comment)
by Suzer
I think we will all miss Mark - he was a real asset, a spark of light in the epinions community.
I'm sure he was given a Most Helpful rating along with several hats at the entrance of heaven. Thanks for a great and very touching review, and we've missed seeing you around lately. Hope you're doing well.
Suzi
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Oct 13 '01
9:26 am PDT
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The coveted Hard_To_Please comment (Reply to this comment)
by Dr_Steph
I know exactly what you mean, Matt. I always use to scan my comments for this most prized of comments. I would go back over and over again to read the witty words he left for me.
I remember agonizing when I realized I posted a review in the wrong place and needed to move it. Mark had commented on the first one and I couldn't bear to delete it. I finally emailed him and begged him to transfer his comment to my new review. Of course he did, but made it even funnier in the process.
I keep wondering if, in all my communications with him, I ever really thanked him for the way he made me feel special.
God, I miss him...
Steph
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Oct 13 '01
7:41 am PDT
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It's so frustrating.. (Reply to this comment)
by kevlog
He just left way too freaking early!
Nicely expressed Matt.
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Oct 12 '01
9:04 pm PDT
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Re: I'm+going+to+miss+him... (Reply to this comment)
by kris-kochanski
I feel like I missed out because I never knew Mark. Your review was very touching and sweet.
Risa
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Oct 12 '01
8:07 am PDT
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Matt... (Reply to this comment)
by tiffer0220
Not sure what to say...This is a great tribute to one hell of a guy.
He will be truly missed, not just by you or me, but by hundreds...It's amazing how Mark had this effect on people through the internet....
As you stated about "Maria", Mark was one of the very first people to trust me & leave me comments all of the time. When I first came aboard Epinions (about 2 weeks after him) I thought he was part of this elite crowd, and he accepted me. It took me awhile to realize he wasn't part of some elite crowd, but was just elite himself, with his wit & humor and going out of his way to help everyone.
Beofre I lose my train of thought here, I just wanted to say thanks for writing a touching editorial on a man most of us probably never met in person, but still feel such a loss as if we really did know him in person.
The world has lost one terrific person who did not deserve the BS he had to endure the past few months.
Tiffany
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Oct 12 '01
6:44 am PDT
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I'm going to miss him... (Reply to this comment)
by cjrmen12
I think I actually discovered both of you guys around the same time. I had read all over epinions about people gushing about someone called Hard_to_Please and his reviews that always cracked them up. I'm thankful that my curiosity finally let me experience a Hard_to_Please article and email.
I hope Mark knew just how much he was loved here. Take care Matt,
Clarissa
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Oct 11 '01
5:30 pm PDT
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beautiful tribute (Reply to this comment)
by jankp
This made me misty-eyed, even laugh a little at his response to Maria. Mark was indeed wonderful and it's just unbelievable he's gone like that. Thanks for sharing this so much.
Jan
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Oct 11 '01
4:15 pm PDT
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! (Reply to this comment)
by Andrew_Lim
It pained me to hear of this news yesterday, and even more so because I wished I had known him earlier, rather than just a month ago...Mark will be missed...I know he's no longer with us, but with the Lord in a place away from suffering...but he will always be remembered in our hearts as the one we love so much...
Andrew
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Oct 11 '01
4:02 pm PDT
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