What Should I Know About Temper Tantrums?
Oct 13 '01
The Bottom Line Temper Tantrums usually happen because the child is incapable of expressing their feelings in a different manner.
Boy I think any parent or care-giver can easily write on this subject. But the first question is why is my child throwing themselves down on the ground and acting like I am killing him/her? Mostly because the child isn't getting their way or what they want. Why do they have a tantrum? Because younger children do not have the vocabulary to argue their point or position. They haven't mastered the barganning/compromising technique. They are more fusterated with themselves than the reason of the tantrum.
My oldest may have done a hissy-fit dance, my middle child just stands there screaming, where my youngest will literally throw himself to the ground/floor and bang his head, arms, and feet. Screaming and yelling. This has happened at Walmart before. What did I do? I left him there and pretended to be looking at the men's department. I didn't leave his side, but I wasn't paying any attention to him either. A few folks watched him sprawling all over the floor. Then he'd stop look at me, see me not looking at him and started all over again, by the third time he stopped for good.
A mom with a toddler and an infant just stood there clapping. I gave her a look, and she told me she had never thought of that, and told me thanks for the idea. Okay what ever. But it was the last hissy fit in public. Will it work for your child? I don't know, but if you don't try you will never know. My youngest, Cody is the hissy-fit master. He has given himself lumps and bruises with these tantrums of his. I have even gone so far to stop in mid-sentance, move him to a safer place and then finished saying what I was going to say. Then came the fall out tantrum. But on safer ground, not the sidewalk.
This isn't the worst case. The worst is when I stupidly decided we were going to the corner store for a gallon on milk. Safe concept I thought. Dead end street, no traffic, so I let the kids go. When we left the store, we crossed the street to see daddy at work. BIG mistake. Cody decided he wasn't going to walk no more and dropped on me mid-crosswalk. There went a gallon of milk, and Cody practically knocked himself out. Thank God nobody decided to cross the street until we were safely across. I was so embarased.
Most of us are lucky to see a tantrum in the making to prepare, but sometimes our children do not give us any signals. After a few you will get to ignore them and they should stop tantrums all together faster than going with the comforting. You will have just given in and just taught the child that a tantrum will get results. Negative or positive. I hope that this helps you feel not alone, and may give you some insight to the tantrum in the first place. After a hissy-fit I will calmly ask Cody what is wrong and then explain my side in a different way. This doesn't always work either. But you may just have to keep trying different ideas to see which one works best with your child.
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mrsditmer
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Location: El Paso, Texas, USA
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I am a mom of 3 kids, and manager of my personal zoo.
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