I prefer the term "monetarily efficient".

Oct 14 '01    Write an essay on this topic.


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The Bottom Line Buying a clunker requires certain...concessions.

Ok, you need cheap wheels. You can't afford to blow a lot of cash, and you need to get your money's worth. You're thinking about just getting that $500 clunker at the end of the street and living with whatever problems it might have. Hold your horses, dude. Take this rationally. We know you're broke, but just because it cost you peanuts doesn't mean you can't still be taken to the cleaners.

First off, do a little homework. Go online and see what a car of this particular vintage and equipment level usually sells for. www.kelleybluebook.com is a good place to start. It'll give you a ballpark figure.

Second, go to investigate. If it's a private seller, call him and ask to take a look at the beater--uh, I mean classic. While there, give the car as thorough a once-over as you can. Open all the doors and look for rust, or chipped paint. On a clunker there's bound to be some, but make sure it's not excessive. If you see structural rust (the stuff crumbles away and leaves a hole behind) you'd better have another car in mind. While you're opening and closing things, make sure the doors open and close without too much grunt work. If you have to really slam the door to get it to stay shut, you've got a bad door latch that could pose a safety hazard and will probably need attention very soon. Make sure the window glass is intact, and the windshield is not cracked or severely chipped. If it is, you'll have to replace it, and that can be costly.

Bring a magnet with you as well, and tap it on parts of the body that you think might have crash damage. Again, on a beater, you're not looking for perfection. You're looking for a sound vehicle. If the magnet doesn't want to stick, you're looking at Bondo. Again, check under the car and look for anything that might indicate an accident. This may not be obvious, so if you suspect the car's been wrecked, find another car.

Try to start the car. If you know it's been sitting for awhile, it may be reluctant to start up the first time. That's normal. Start it, let it run for a couple minutes, then shut it off. Wait a couple minutes, then start it again. If it starts right up, you're okay. If it's still having trouble, then the car could leave you stranded somewhere. Bring a voltmeter with you and check the battery voltage. It should be around 12-13 volts with the engine off. With the voltmeter on, turn on some of the accessories, like the radio or the headlights. If the voltage drops significantly, then the battery's bad and will need replacement, most likely sooner rather than later.

While you're inside the car, take the time to make sure the car's street legal. Make sure all the seat belts work. Make sure the dash lights, turn signals, headlights and windshield wipers all work. Make sure all the inside door handles work. If the car has power windows, make sure that at least the driver's window works. Also, make sure you can adjust the seat to a comfortable position, and that it stays put once you move it.

Now that you've checked the car stem to stern, take it for a shakedown run. Leave the radio off (if it works) and listen for squeaks, rattles, and other noises. If it's an old car, there's bound to be a veritable symphony of them. Make sure the car can be safely driven. The brake pedal should not feel excessively spongy. The clutch (if it's a stick) should not have too much play. The transmission should shift without grinding gears, rattling or making noises. Older automatics tend to be somewhat jerky. A bit of a jerk when the transmission upshifts is normal. Excessive lurching is a problem. Manual transmissions should shift without too much effort on your part; that is, the shifter should move with little restriction through the gears. If you have trouble getting it into or out of a particular gear, you're probably staring down the barrel of a rebuild.

Once you've finished the drive, and are satisfied the car won't shake itself to pieces, ask to have the car checked out by a mechanic you trust. This is the kicker. Don't let him take it to "a guy he knows". And don't let him waffle out of it. If he won't let you have it looked at by a pro, you don't want his business. Take it to a guy YOU know and trust, and have him look it over, and tell you about any major repairs that might be in the car's near future, how much they'll cost, and whether they can be put off. Once you get the verdict, and you believe the car is worth buying, go ahead and buy it.

There. You've got some cheap wheels. Now all you need is a little pine tree hanging from the rearview mirror and you're all set.

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Nightshade_01

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