|
|
Hmmm...I could write something dodgy...Oct 30 '01 Write an essay on this topic.
Popular Products in Sport and Outdoor
The Bottom Line Alcahol is not a good fuel source for you car, but better than petrol for your body...
Okay, so I've been lazy this past month, and some of you may even have missed me, most of you probably don't even remember me. I was going to continue my series on foreign films...my next was to be Germany, in fact, it still is. Whenever I get around to it. Today, however, I felt like being a bit silly. This never happens. I mean, if you read back over my past opinions, I'm one serious bugger...although I believe Kris-Kochanski once called me 'zany'. Anyway, so today I am christening this category with its first ever entry. This may have once qualified itself for an EBD entry...but Sordid-1 has declared an amnesty on that. Okay, okay, enough of that, I'll tell you more about my life story when we talk about the use of marijuana as a fuel source. First things first. I feel we need to establish what the hell we are fuelling with our alcohol, what kind of alcohol we are using, and various other important things like that. If we were to ask the esteemed 4-1-1, I'm sure he could tell us a bit about which alcohol to use, but in my unknowledgeable way, I think I shall simply look to VB. VB, ladies and gentlemen, is the most famous beer in Australia, and is by far cheaper than petrol. Hmmmm...petrol, that's the obvious fuel source, and while I'm sure that pouring beer into your engine might have some interesting results, and make your car smell more wholesome, on the whole I don't think it is wise. I have a friend who once urinated in his radiator because it was out of water and we were a long way from home. It stank. Your beer will also stink. Whether you use it as coolant, or as petrol, you are guaranteed to have a pungent car. Okay, aside form the smell, what kind of things can we expect to see your car doing. Let’s say you own a lovely new car; it specifically says "use unleaded fuel only". Okay, so your beer is unleaded, but it also means that your car is a touchy pansy little thing, and will probably be immediately inebriated by the smell of the alcohol. Remember...don't drink and drive. On the other hand, you get out your V8 Valiant, and that thing will show down on your alcohol!! Seriously, however, I don't feel many cars would run well on alcohol. The last I checked, alcohol was not one of the main ingredients in petrol, your car is made to run on petrol. I recommend the use of petrol. Petrol is good for you car, alcohol is bad. Interestingly though, petrol is bad for you, alcohol has a tendency to be somewhat good. I mean, you really don't want to drink a stein of unleaded petrol do you? It may have the same effect as VB for 2 seconds, but then you're dead so that's not good. Of course you can drink yourself to death as well, this however is a long and involved process that may take you until the day you die to complete. You can of course do it in one sitting, but the expense is to great, so if you want to kill yourself, use the petrol (in no way do I condone death by petrol). If you want a fuel source, go the beer. As a fuel source for the human body, however, it may have some adverse results. It seems, from study, that this particular fuel can be overly strong for the delicate body if consumed in large amounts. The resulting may ensue: -the body may do things that the controlling occupant may not wish it too. (for example, making a pass on your best friend, or telling someone that "they are ferry soxy") -once out of fuel, the body needs more fuel desperately, leading to great expense. At this point, it is very likely that the body will not function much at all. -the body will end the sojourn in the service station with excess amounts of change in their pocket, and quite possibly another second rate body, in need of some work. -vision may be impaired As a whole, the art of using alcohol as a fuel source for the human body has not yet been refined. The adverse side-effects can be quite nasty. Alcohol may be used as a fuel source if needed, but be warned, it has been tested on animals, so it's quite understandable if you wish to boycott its use. It's understood that over the past 700 years, alcohol has been fed to animals by various teenage boys and teenaged men. The result was that the animal stopped working. Thus as a fuel source, I do not believe that alcohol is overly viable. Let us recap. -It makes your car smell. -It doesn't make you car go. -It makes you not work properly. -It makes animals stop working. I do, however, believe that alcohol does have one use as a fuel source. A wise person once told me that beer makes the world go around. I mean, okay, fine by me, if God wants to use beer...each to his own. In case you were wondering why the heck I took the time and effort to write this, I take delight in showing the epinions community some of the ridiculous categories that exist in this place. I think Nirav put them there for a bit of fun!! Some of you may remember the WTHITCHF? Write Off...look out for part two, in stores near you soon... Cheers...  |
| Read all comments (9)|Write your own comment |
