Paradise at a price: I'll take a week!
Written: May 20 '01
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Beautiful, lush landscaping, food, activities, suites with every amenity, intimate setting, Disney-like in detail
Cons: Pricey, service varies, hills and endless stairs, beach is just ok, Disney-like in detail
The Bottom Line: An oasis of luxury, just short of decadence, on an island of great beauty and dire poverty.
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| Virtuanna's Full Review: Sans Souci Lido |
Ever wonder what an adult Disneyworld would be like, minus the cartoons, costumes and kiddies? With booze flowing and gentle winds blowing, and not a care in the world?
Welcome to SuperClubs' flagship resort, Grand Lido Sans Souci, located in Ocho Rios, on the northern coast of Jamaica. Built right into the side of a cliff, the property affords truly spectacular views of the ocean and island coast. The mountainous landscape, however, makes for some pretty strenuous hiking, whether to the beach, one of the restaurants, the spa areas, or just to your room. The defining feature here, has to be the steep and everpresent steps that one must climb to reach any other area of the resort. The first few days, we thought it was pure torture, but our calves tightened up and it was much more bearable towards the end of our week. It's definitely not a resort for those with mobility problems, and is not at all handicapped accessible. Grand Lido Braco, near Trelawney, is less physically demanding and more easily negotiable.
Every inch of the property is scrupulously designed to create vignettes like picture postcards, with gorgeous native plants cared for as a natural garden. Tucked into every alcove, is a surprise to be discovered, down and around winding paths and twisty stone steps. A quick turn may yield a secluded bench for two in a shady grotto; a small path may wind to a small pool or a hammock for two. Designed to be the most romantic setting imaginable, it provides plenty of privacy and opportunity for discovery. Parrots call to you, begging for attention or a tidbit, from outside their unlocked cages. Geckos run across your path and up sheer walls, in search of insects, and if you look carefully, grouchy land crabs emerge from their holes in the evening for crab feasts. Giant dragonflies, primordial yet graceful, harmlessly flit about the air after mosquitoes. The resort makes a real attempt to integrate seamlessly with the natural beauty of the island, and its flora and fauna are evidently accepting of the careful intrusion. So inviting is the habitat, that a sad eyed old mutt has made the beach her home, accepting treats and attention at will. And a small tabby cat with enormous round green eyes has become a regular visitor at breakfast on the Palazzino terrace. We enjoyed the animals' friendly welcome, and hope they are permanent residents. The little cat was the only one I saw at this resort; at Grand Lido Braco last year, there were dozens of healthy feral cats. They were all business, evidently securely employed as full time hunters of whatever prey they were after, and paid little attention to us humans.
We lucked out, and received a room in the "A" block, first floor, beachfront. The immediate proximity to the Beach Bar, the Pool Bar, and nearby (and uphill!) Balloon Bar was ideal for us, a mid 30's couple; and the moderate noise level was not a problem for us. But those desiring a quieter experience should request another block.
The 146 rooms, or suites, are all in the luxury category, and all are considered "oceanview," although your view may be less of ocean and more rainforest. Although we were pleased with our lowest category, gardenview room at Grand Lido Braco last year, we were delighted with the suite here. Most, if not all, feature a jacuzzi, marble bathrooms, double sinks, air conditioning, a stocked mini bar, and amenities including a full size iron and ironing board, blowdryer, separate sitting area, a patio or porch, and CD player. Ours was very clean, and stocked with plenty of towels. Even the solid brass fixtures in the bathroom had been polished to a high shine. We were pleasantly surprised by a fruit basket and a bottle of champagne on ice delivered to our room the first evening.
Our trip, the second week of May 2001, was dotted by rainy days, which did not detract from the experience, in my opinion. After all, how many days can you lay on the beach? OK, well, suffice it to say that we still had fun. The schedule of activities included bingo, treasure hunts (won a bottle of rum! Woo-hoo!), pool tournament in the elegant Game Room, a fashion show, domimo tournaments, Beach Olympics (another bottle of rum! Woo-hoo!), a couples' balloon popping game (don't ask), nature walks, and so on. There's no pressure to take part in any of the activities; do as much or as little as you like. The fitness area is complete with aerobics classes and equipment, but the sauna was not working.
The watersports are varied and well tended. Scuba is available, as is Resort certification, an hour or so process. Snorkeling can be done right off the beach, or on one of the twice daily trips. The equipment varies, however; so be sure to check for the valve, and fit. The hydrabikes were little used, perhaps because there was a limited area they were allowed to cover. It took only a few minutes to get the hang of it, and gave a moderate workout for a lot more fun. Kayaks, Hobie Cats, and Sunfish are available, and the watersports staff are always willing to teach you the ropes. Safety is stressed, and life jackets always worn. The glassbottom boat ride was a little disappointing, as it was only abut 20 minutes or so. We couldn't see much, as the rainy weather had kept the bottom stirred up. We didn't try kneeboarding or water skiing, as it rained almost half the time.
Some guests had a real problem with water in their rooms. A few were just idiots who left their windows wide open, then complained because there was a sea of water on their tile floor. But the torrents of rainwater gushed down the steps and under the doors of some of the rooms, making them all but uninhabitable. It looked like a waterfall, pouring into some of the rooms. We were lucky again; and had no trouble.
Our minor complaints included the hot tub that wasn't, and another outdoor jacuzzi that didn't work, and the spotty service in the casual dining rooms, a problem we had at Grand Lido Braco, as well. We found it difficult to get soft drinks; sometimes we would make three or four requests, to different staff, and still never receive our drinks. When and if we got it, it would be a small eight ounce glass, filled to the brim with large ice cubes, and perhaps four ounces of soda. But beer was brought without question. Go figure. Also, our keys did not work for our room door, which was not a big deal for us as our patio opened up right on the beach; so we used that instead. But repeated assurances that we would be issued a correct set of keys, came to nothing. After the week, we still had not gotten them. Between the hours of 5pm and 6:30 or so, there is no food available anywhere, except via room service; which can take up to an hour. So if you arrive in the early evening, without a chance to make a reservation for one of the other restaurants, your choices will be either the Jamaican cuisine at Bella Vista, or the limited room service menu.
Speaking of which, if you order room service, order a lot. The portions are quite small. As they are at Casanova, the formal French restaurant, which requires a jacket (or they will loan you one). It is elegant and very proper, and the service is impeccable, almost as good as its counterpart Piacere at Grand Lido Braco. Each course is served with a flourish, artfully placed slivers of edibility on a beautifully garnished plate. It's so beautiful you are almost afraid to eat it. My husband was still starving after a full dinner there (as were other guys, so I hear), and proceeded to order three separate items from the room service menu as soon as we got back to the room. He wouldn't go again, (not when he had to wear a jacket and be starved to death) so we ate at La Palazzino, the Italian restaurant, and the specialty dinner buffets the rest of the week. The pasta was fresh, the sauces light yet flavorful, and the caesar salad was absolutely divine. I suspect, however, that the dressing was made with real fresh eggs, as cannot be done in the U.S. for health reasons. This may be why it not only left a lasting impression on me, but on my bowels. I'm just now winding down the turbulent two-step, five days later.
They include plenty of native specialties and produce in the offerings, which I liked. I can't say I'll ever try the codfish again, unless somehow I acquire a taste for snot with the consistency of scrambled eggs. The smoked fish, and fresh fruit made a nice change for breakfast. All the traditional breakfast foods were available, with healthy choices abounding. An omelet station was a bit of a letdown, as their omelets were always runny, and kind of wet.
The Italian restaurant was our favorite, with both Northern and Southern Italy represented on the menu. Other than finally getting up and getting our own sodas from the service bar, we could not get our server to respond to our pleas for soft drinks. Nor would she bring us butter for the bread, insisting that was what the olive oil on the table was for. It took four attempts, and twenty five minutes, to get a few pats of butter. Other than the annoyance of indifferent service, the food was excellent.
The rest of the staff were exceptionally friendly and eager to please. It wasn't the phony kind of ingratiating manner that is invariably coupled with the expectation of a tip, as tipping is forbidden here. They seemed like genuine people oriented folks, and were dignified and professional in every respect. The social directors were zany extroverts, keeping the fun going until late. Unfortunately, they were treated harshly by management with respect to some late night rowdiness, that the guests were enjoying. We have written a letter on their behalf.
We had expected this resort to be full of snooty stuffed shirts, geriatric shufflebowlers, and snobbish foreigners hiding out in the spa. But we were quite wrong! It was a great mix of people, friendly and just like us. There were a lot of honeymooners, and the average age was about late 20's to late 30's. We met some really good people that we hope to see again in "the real world."
It's not a singles resort, and it only accepts couples or adult families, 16 years and older. Those who are not in at least reasonable physical condition, due to the endless steps, should think of Grand Lido Braco instead, with its relatively flat terrain. If you are a real party animal, consider one of the Hedonism resorts instead, as things wind down a bit earlier here; and it's a bit quieter than Grand Lido Braco, although by no means sedate, no matter what you've heard!
I believe it is an excellent value for the money. Once you pay to come here, you don't need another dime. All meals and drinks and onsite activities are included. And tipping is included as well; although there were still some complaints of staff members actively soliciting for tips, to the annoyance of the guests. For those who like to drink, eat out, and be active, what a great value this is, if you get one of the "surprise" deals from your travel agent.
I'm hoping to come here again next year, although is we end up at one of SuperClubs' other all inclusive properties, that would be fine as well. It sounds unbelievable, but it really is cheaper to come here, than to visit any larger American city, by the time you pay for hotels, entertainment, taxes, meals, drinks, activities, and the ubiquitous tipping.
Leave the kids at home, and enjoy a little bit of paradise!
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
Virtuanna
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Reviews written: 29
Trusted by: 8 members
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