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Excellent Job!!! (Reply to this comment)
by hularider
I enjoyed reading this so much, I'm going to go look for other things you have written. I am in the process of looking to buy a home for the second time. Your advice is right on! Good info, great writing! I will link to this in my website.
Hula Rider
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Jan 29 '07
4:41 pm PST
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!WOW! (Reply to this comment)
by annecal
What an amazingly helpful review! My boyfriend is looking at buying a house sometime in the not too distant future, and I am passing this on to him!
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Jul 03 '02
7:54 am PDT
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finally getting around to this... (Reply to this comment)
by jkkelley
All of you, thank you very much. To those of you who are thanking me, you're quite welcome. Sorry I took so long to get around to this. I suck.
dmsj - well, I can only thank you for your kind words and apologize for not providing any input. As to a closing gift, I would suggest something consumable and trashily cheap, such as the bottom-shelf vodka or a box of crummy Swisher Sweet cigars.
starstraf - great additions, things I should have said and neglected to. Many thanks.
Susan - not sure how applicable it is in Belfast. But glad you stopped by!
rightbrain - you're welcome. Thank you.
miselainis - what an honour! Fezzes can be obtained cheaply from antique stores, and parrot imagery is all over the place. In case it helps, Alex is a white-eyed conure, a subspecies of parrot from the Amazon jungle. (He's a handfed bird, of course. No wild-caught birds here.) I hope that you'll let me know how the house buying goes.
Elizabeth - reminds me of when we used to live upstairs from Mrs. Ed. Without rent control.
vonboob - building is even tougher. I hope it worked out ok for you long term.
Jim - hearty thanks to you. You know, everytime someone comments that lawyers and Republicans suck, I think of you, and I say 'well, some of them are all right.'
Adam - far as I'm concerned, there should be no reason your bank will not lend on a trike. Tell them I approved it.
Horswispr - I hope you worked it out without proctological intervention. Thanks for the kind words.
Brenda - I thought about building but realized that we just didn't want to wait. Maybe someday.
Richard -- indeed so. Far smoother!
grimjack2 - thanks, and also for the visit.
Dr. Steph - I am always available to be bribed with food. As you are well aware, I'm a relatively cheap and pliant date.:)
Jennifer - I hope that in the intervening time while I got around to replying, you folks had a successful home buying experience. Just wait until you see that mortgage interest deduction. No keggers yet, but a 4th of July party coming soon, since we have a great view of all three local fireworks displays.
Damien - IIRC, you've since gone through with it. May your new home be a place of much love, familial feeling, and prosperity.
Paul - how'd it go? And you're welcome.
Ms. Marrone - you're right about the money pit. Thanks for stopping by!
Laura - strongly agree about instincts. Goes to show the value of getting one's analytical and intuitive sides working in harmony.
Susi - mostly did it in advance, but in some cases, was reflecting ruefully. Here's to a slow and painful death for Homeowner's Association Gestapo (HAGs).
Ms. Davis - oh, it's a magical world, as I've learned thus far. But you're right. I should have brought Alex. As for the fez, since we were negotiating on the house right around 9/11, I'm kind of glad I didn't.
Dana - generally true. In our case, our primary CU didn't do mortgage loans, just home equity loans (which suck, in my view). We ended up with an S&L which is a CU in all but name, but ideally I'd rather have used one.
gerper - you're welcome. Thanks for the added advice and the warm praise.
theeye - always glad to see you, and thanks for your kind words.
CLAriSSa - it is a great feeling. Glad you had a good experience, and thank you for your wholly unjustified but very kind assessment of my general character.
jkk
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Jun 18 '02
9:47 am PDT
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Bravo! (Reply to this comment)
by dmsj
I've read several of your opinions, and don't know when I've laughed so much. Looking forward to reading all of your writings!
I'm currently in the middle of a home purchase and have the seller from hell. The owner, "Mr. Sold", is a hot shot real estate man (such a macho profession)who is determined to make my first purchase as painful and difficult as possible. I've considered mailing him a "tasteful gift" but considering the recent postal incidents, I thought it might not be wise. Any suggestion of a "closing gift" that would convey my true, heartfelt feelings without involving the authorities or disgusting my attorney and realtor, who I actually like?
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Dec 25 '01
11:24 am PST
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Yes! (Reply to this comment)
by starstraf
Good work and congrats.
VERY good advice about ordering credit reports 6 months before and clearing up. My partner has the EXACT same name as a deceased parent, no JR, or III just the exact same name and took us 3 months to clear that info off the credit report. ("We can't give you a house loan you already have one" "Sorry you are dead, this is fraud")
RE: 15 vs 30 year - make sure that your loan has no penelty for early payoff.
RE: agent - make an initial contact in the way you prefer to communicate (Phone or email) and tell them you are chooseing between 2-3 agents and would like to give them a chance to tell you why you should choose them. I was starting my look from out of town so an agent that had email and knew how to attach documents was a plus.
looking at houses: Try to explain to your agent what you like and dislike in each house so they can help pick out the right one for you. Do not be shy to give strange requests.
Don't forget to change the locks once you take possesion - who knows what relatives and neighbors have copies of those keys...
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Dec 09 '01
1:14 pm PST
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Wow - (Reply to this comment)
by saintdonagh
Thanks for taking the time to write such thorough and genuinely useful advice!
=Susan
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Dec 06 '01
3:13 am PST
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Great detail and great advice (Reply to this comment)
by rightbrain
Thanks for this useful information.
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Nov 29 '01
7:44 am PST
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Outstanding! (Reply to this comment)
by miselainis
We've got great credit, but no cash. Trying to pay off all our debts now so we can get a house within the next year or two.
I'm printing this off and keeping it with my "House Buying for Dummies" book. Wonderful advice!
Because of you, I may create a "Fez and Parrot" themed guest room!
m.
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Nov 21 '01
8:47 am PST
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Wow! That was awesome!!! (Reply to this comment)
by girlboxer5
Great advice! I've never been so glad to be living in a little studio underneath a soon-to-be evicted drug dealer in my life! Three cheers for rent control!
Rock on,
Elizabeth
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Nov 19 '01
7:12 pm PST
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Got all of this and more... (Reply to this comment)
by vonboob
...it was so bad that I gave up buying and decided to build. I wish I had your advise then; maybe I'd have a fighting chance.
Best regards,
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Nov 19 '01
3:00 pm PST
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29 (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
This should be incorporated into a warning brochure that all real estate agents are legally required to disseminate to their prospective clients. Great work; hilarious read, Jonathan.
--29th
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Nov 19 '01
1:29 pm PST
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Awesome. (Reply to this comment)
by phixed
I am still many years away from owning my own property, BUT I am considering financing the brand-spankin' new tricycle that hit the market last week. As streamers, multi-colored spokes and a lot of chrome can cost a pretty penny - I only have greenish looking ones - it is looking like financing might be the way to go.
One note: Those misers at Toys R Us do not understand the meaning of "friendly bartering".
-Adam
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Nov 19 '01
6:39 am PST
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I laughed so hard my butt plug got stuck in the wall (Reply to this comment)
by Horswispr
when I read your brief list of horror stories. But this article is full of sage advice. I bought a condo once and then backed out due to buyers remorse and impending knee surgery. It was an unpleasant experience overall. I'll read this again if I ever decide to buy something.
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Nov 14 '01
12:33 am PST
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Wow, now I know: (Reply to this comment)
by BrendaMetcalf
Why some people choose to live in trailers out at the trailer park...My husband and I built our home on land his father left him and other than a few permits it was a breeze.
Brenda
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Nov 12 '01
10:02 pm PST
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There is an easier way (Reply to this comment)
by latakiahaze
Great review JK, there is an easier way though...
I married an older woman who already had a mortgage - far easier :-).
Richard
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Nov 12 '01
2:15 am PST
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Excellent essay! (Reply to this comment)
by grimjack2
Great detail, and very helpful. Well done!
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Nov 11 '01
10:49 pm PST
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Next time I buy a home... (Reply to this comment)
by Dr_Steph
...you're the one I'm inviting over for dinner for some EXPERT advice. Great editorial, Jonathan! Wish I had something like that to read before I bought my house.
Congratulations on taking the plunge into home ownership! :)
Steph
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Nov 10 '01
7:19 pm PST
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Maddening! (Reply to this comment)
by nifer
Your review couldn't have come at a better time, hun. Mr. Nifer and I are contemplating becoming homeowners in the near future, and we're just now starting the process, so your MH info will come in very handy over the next year. Seems that in addition to finally getting that deduction that will keep the tax bandits at bay, it would be worth it to just put all the weepy relatives and the like on the backburner.
Congrats on your new digs! When's the first kegger?
xoxo ~ jennifer
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Nov 09 '01
7:36 pm PST
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Man, this is great... (Reply to this comment)
by imokliel
...Keri and I are going to buying a house next spring, and hadn't thought of about 1/3 of the things that you covered in this piece. I am printing this out as we speak so Keri can read it.
A million thanks
Damien
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Nov 09 '01
1:31 pm PST
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Yesssss! You are Korrrrrrect, Sir! (Reply to this comment)
by sumo_rhino
Jonathan:
Wonderfully timed. We are moving now into the arena of which you speak. And I am most appreciative of the advice.
- sumo_rhino
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Nov 09 '01
12:04 pm PST
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So you're a new home owner, let me offer you some advice... (Reply to this comment)
by glomarrone
Hi,
Kidding! Loved your epinion. It is thorough, informative, entertaining and most helpful. We have lived our our present house for 23 years and something is always going wrong. A House is a bottomless pit you keep pouring money into and hope it increases in value when you sell. We are getting ready to sell in a couple of years. I don't look forward to cleaning it out. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading it.
See you again.
Gloria
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Nov 09 '01
9:55 am PST
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I have had a great realtor and a horrible one (Reply to this comment)
by laura10801
I think your advice is excellent! I think it is also very important to pay attention to your instincts. I refer to my most recent realtor as "my lying sack of a realtor," obviously I got burned because of him. However, I did get the sense that he was a liar, but I ignored my instincts because I was too anxious to buy.
Laura
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Nov 09 '01
8:06 am PST
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GREAT (Reply to this comment)
by susidee34
first: ....."unless you have homeowner's association nazis measuring your "..... Exactly what planet do these creatures come from? Something I certainly do not understand! My house? Well.....only if THEY agree to what I want to do with it (smile)
Two: bought and sold 4 houses, the last one I bought while I still had the other turkey cause I wasn't able to dump it quick enough. Man, what a headache!
This is great information, seems you did your work well in advance or you were reflecting on what you should have done :)
Thanks
Susi
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Nov 09 '01
7:55 am PST
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Boy! Does this bring back .. (Reply to this comment)
by AdaDavis
lots of bad memories! Bought 2, sold 1 so far. Went through multiple agents all three times, with a book's worth of Bad Agent Stories. I think I have kept the current abode just because I can't face it all again. 8^[
I'm surprised you didn't go to negotiations wearing fez and parrot. The sellers would probably have been so distracted that you could have slipped anything through.
Congrats on the new house, and welcome to the world of pipe wrenches, circuit testers, and trips to the hardware store. I'm sure it will all be good for scads of new essays ;-]
Ada
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Nov 09 '01
7:15 am PST
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Great job! (Reply to this comment)
by levda
If you have access to a Credit Union, no matter what- open an account. Even if it's just $100 sitting there idle.
Credit Unions have some great mortgage rates for their members...
Wonderful article full of great advice.
Kudos!
Dana
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Nov 09 '01
6:38 am PST
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Great! (Reply to this comment)
by gerper
Fellow Peon Jonathan: Great information! Sounds like you really got an education while buying your house.
At 34, I have bought 2 homes, and sold one, and each time, I learned about 100 things I didn't know before. Buying and selling homes is a real learning process, and it is something that you just have to experience.
One thing I found valuable: an attorney! Even if you have a "good" agent, it's always nice to have a lawyer look over the paperwork, as a home is a huge investment, and it is so easy to get hosed on a simple thing such as an easement, septic tank, or a property line.
GREAT INFORMATION! Thanks for the wonderful review on this subject!
gerper
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Nov 09 '01
6:22 am PST
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Wow .... (Reply to this comment)
by theeye
great job! As someone who's purchased two homes in my life (the first one was my education -- I lost a bundle on it; the second one I'm living in now), this would have been very helpful indeed to me years ago.
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Nov 09 '01
5:02 am PST
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That was... (Reply to this comment)
by cjrmen12
quite excellent advice. We were lucky that we hooked up with an agent who was in the business for MANY MANY years. It seemed like everyone we talked to knew our agent and they all had good things to say about him. He was also able to hook us up with the low income lending who did most of our paperwork. We just had to supply them with our info.
Congrats on your new home. Isn't it the greatest feeling knowing that you got it all on your own?
BTW, thank you for the email. You're an absolute sweetheart. :)
Clarissa
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Nov 08 '01
11:30 pm PST
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