Tecmo Super Bowl: Like A Dodge Viper in Ancient RomeDec 19, 2001 Write an essay on this topic.
Popular Products in Video GamesThe Bottom Line Older is just plain better, dating all the way back to 1991 (don't go back any further, though). Get TSB. Just do it.
Ok. Usually I open up my e-pinions with some quirky anecdote or creative, seemingly irrelevant tirade. Well, frankly, I just donít have the time or patience for that when it comes to this piece. Itís just too damn important.
Iím writing about 1991ís Tecmo Super Bowl. Not plain Tecmo Bowl from í89, Ďcause it was weaker. Not any of those horsesheet Tecmo football games for Super Nintendo. Weíre discussiní the good one here, and what a discussion it will be. You see, this category is "what you should know about football games". Well, this is what you should know: TSB is the greatest one ever. Plain and simple. Here's why.
First off, you have to understand when the game was made: 1991. I know, I know, it seems like a far cry from now. But weíre venturing back to an era thatís eons behind us in technology. I know they had electricity in the early 90ís, but Iím not so sure about auto carriages, or ďcarsĒ as theyíve been affectionately dubbed. In this time period, we were dealing with some weak video game offerings. While the video games werenít just one monstrous pixel of color moving across the screen . . . they were just slightly better than being one monstrous pixel of color moving across the screen. In fact, I think Bandai made a game that was indeed just that before all of the companyís executives hung themselves by their ties. Now, admittedly, TSB wasnít a Magritte. However, it had graphics that indeed did the job, as well as flashed us some amazing cheerleader booty shots. You know what Iím talking about.
But thatís not why itís the greatest video game every invented. Oh no, that can be accredited to its infinite replayability, season layout, and stat keeping. Do current football games do all that? Yes. But they donít have the brute simplicity. Read on.
I already wrote an e-pinion heralding the original NES as the best system ever, and I maintain that conviction. You see, designers had limited graphic, audio, and control options at their disposal. Subsequently, they needed to design games that were actually fun, to compensate for what was seemingly a lack in technology. As such TSB, with its two button controls and simple-yet-effective play choice screen, doesnít bog you down with button after button of options, or thirteen menus to substitute a player. Those ingenious bastards over at Tecmo crammed a veritable cornucopia of options and menus into just two buttons, and for that I praise little shrines of them in my room. You see, now, in the heat of the battle, your lilí fingers needs not scramble all over the controller looking for the stupid Z-toggle-analog-switch buried underneath the control. Oh no, you just keep pounding away at either the A or B button, and something good is bound to happen. Thatís a video game.
Now, I donít understand binary code. Thatís irrelevant. However, I donít understand how to program an olí skool NES game, either, and that is relevant. Somehow, the deities over at Tecmo programmed this technological wonder to keep the most unreal seasons and stats. Let me explain.
All sorts of crazy sheet happens during a season. For one, the health of your players degrades as the season progresses, with additional damage assessed depending on the amount of hits that player takes. This baffles me. I mean, I guess I can understand how it works, but in 1991? Wow. In addition, the game simulates every non-manually-played game of the season, leaving you with incredibly accurate records and stats. Were you so inclined, or in a vegetative state, you could even watch these simulated games! This is pretty routine stuff these days, but seeing as how they didnít even have a ďbooksĒ as we know them back in 1991, this is intense stuff.
Ultimately, though, itís just the downright fun of the game that keeps me coming back. The boys and I were averaging close to four games a piece earlier this semester as we skipped class, and we never tired of it. It wasnít until chess was recently phased in that our interest change, for the sole purpose of doing something intelligent while skipping class.
And thatís that. So go and get a copy of TSB. You wonít regret it. In fact, you wonít ever stop playing. You can easily find a cartridge on eBay for a couplaí bucks. Or you can have mine.
If you pry it from my cold, dead grip.
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