T'was the Night Before Income Share
Dec 22 '01 (Updated Dec 23 '01)
The Bottom Line I know I murdered the meter. This was a “last minute” kinda thing. My sincerest apologies to the original author.
T’was the Night before I. S.,And all through the boards,
We awaited our pennies – though we wanted more;
Members rated all new reviews to the “T”,
In hopes that St. Nirav would forgive EBD;
Newbies were clicking all through the Just In lines,
While visions of “click-backs” danced through their minds;
But since I was at work, I lowered my cap,
And settled in my cube for a ‘tween-the-calls nap,
When from all the chat rooms there arose such a chatter,
I logged right back on to see what was the matter.
Away to EA I signed in like a flash,
Read multiple posts ‘bout the pure lack of cash.
The bright hazy light of the moon on my screen,
Made the names of the members logged in hard to see,
When what to my sore blood-shot eyes should appear,
An unmistakable new user, “Look! Nirav is here!”
He fielded our questions so lively and quick,
“No money for reviews that suck hairy d***!”
Like bloodthirsty wolves, his detractors they came,
He told them to shut up so he could explain;
“Post on CAMERAS and PRINTERS and FLAT SCREEN TVs!
Do CELL PHONES and LAPTOPS, f**k BOOKS and CDs!
From the newest gadget, to the newest computers!
This is the real stuff that attracts consumers!”
As birds before winter do migrate away,
I sensed that EP will go South too one day,
The VC’s dried up, members bail out in droves,
I can’t believe that I miss “How to Care for Hoes.”
Those useless old topics were sure fun to write,
But we carped and they vanished like thieves in the night;
In their place are ad banners and buttons galore,
The site has transformed to a big “click-through” wh*re.
But cool writers will remain to keep the site fun,
‘Till that final day when’s EP’s life is done,
‘Till that one final day when we surf back to this town,
And all that we get is the error of death, “Site Not Found.”
So, to make sure my royalties did not leave the scene,
I logged into my account and tried to redeem;
Then I saw my I. S. in the Summary row,
“There’s no way!” I thought, “that amount is too low!”
All my hours of hard work, sweat and tears they had brought,
Then I turn’d ‘round and sold them to Nirav for naught.
It brought me “down, down” like that wack rapper Nelly,
Felt like I’d been lubed up with cold K-Y jelly.
A measly few bucks? I leave more change on my shelf,
And I cursed when I saw it, in spite of myself;
A cute little “winky” ;) ended N’s final line,
(An attempt to let us know everything would be fine;)
He typed no more words, so I resumed work,
A few upset people typed in “what a jerk!”
A single teardrop my co-worker did see
I cried to myself, “no new X-Box for me!”
My co-worker said, “they barely pay you to write!
You should just move on and try out some other site!”
I replied, while starting to review a new Palm,
“IT’S STILL BETTER THAN ‘RUPEES’ FROM MOUTHSHUT DOT COM!”
Merry Christmas and Happy Income Share to one and all!
-madtheory
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Epinions.com ID:
madtheory
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 - Top 100 |
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Location: Dallas,TX
Reviews written: 485
Trusted by: 590 members
About Me:
DON'T CALL IT A COMEB... wait. I guess you actually can call it a comeback.
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