Vodka Drink, Ground Fall!Dec 24 '01 (Updated Dec 26 '01) Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line Did somebody say vodka? I joined Epinions last Christmas Eve. It was affected by total boredom [that’s why I came from the site bored.com] and having nothing better to do on Christmas Eve than studying for History Of Economics exam. Russian finals start about Western World Christmas, carry on to New Year, then Russian Orthodox Christmas, Old New Year [celebrated only in Russia] and a few days after that holiday boom, when decent people finally sober from the amount of alcohol in their blood, Russian students have their own holiday: the end of finals. “Vodka drink, ground fall” [basic translation of a hilarious Russian saying, “Vodka pei, zemlya valyaisya”]. So today I decided to write about the upcoming Holiday Season. There’s a Russian saying, “If there’s vodka, occasion will find itself”, meaning that it doesn’t really matter why drink. So, there’s Catholic and Protestant Christmas, yes, there is John Paul II on telly, kids all over the world are waiting for the pressies. Grumpy Russian kids struggle with finals at school, their vacation starts on December 29. Most of us in this country don’t even have their New Year’s trees yet, but we ought to drink for Christmas. New Year’s trees? How funny is that? New Year’s Tree, duh. It’s exactly like Christmas tree and serves only one purpose, aside from that all mushy-wussy holiday spirit; you get your presents under the tree. In my family, however, only kids get presents from under the tree. The adults exchange the gifts somewhere after midnight. I usually give the gifts to my parent and escape with my friends to my other friends to celebrate the New Year. My brother’s gifts always go under the tree and he gets them in the morning. The whole New Year’s celebration is all about the midnight. There’s a ritual for the Eve’s night and there’s a ritual for the after midnight time. The most important part for the prelude is a basin of Olivier to Irony of Destiny [and a bit of vodka for Kamchatka that has just passed midnight and now is in the next year]. Basin of Olivier, yeah? It’s just so Russian, that one has to see it to believe it. Salad Olivier is a bunch of veggies with meat that was successfully substituted by the Soviets with sausage, and covered with mayo; sometimes we add an apple to it. It’s good; you have to trust me on that one. [I heard somewhere that everywhere else in the world it is called “Russian” salad, whatever.] Besides “basin” of Olivier, there are a lot of other salads and generally other food, soda, vodka, traditional champagne, though not anymore in my family, some other alcohol, but not wine; wine just doesn’t go with New Year in Russia, though a friend of my ex-bf drinks wine on New Year because his Jewish family doesn’t drink anything else. Now, Irony of Destiny [Ironia Sud’by], the movie. It’s shown on at least one TV channel on New Year’s Eve, starting sometime between 6 and 9 PM. Soviet comedy about a guy following an old Russian New Year Eve’s tradition went to the bath-house with his friends, drank too much and instead of his friend went to Moscow. Funny thing, sounds bizarre as it is, the whole country watches it every single year. It’s three hours long and everyone knows it by heart, thus cooks the dinner, occasionally looking at the telly [yes, Russians have TV sets in the kitchens too]. Young generation, watching the movie for the first time, is surprisingly amused. Parents, happy that the kids are quiet and involved in the living-room, are busy with the preparations. For the past thirty years, this is the most New Year movie there’s ever been and probably will be for this country. When the movie is over, everyone is smoothly moving to the living room, where the salads and drinks are served on the table. Kids are happy that they can stay up late [it’s 10 pm already] and help themselves with the gallons of soda. Here I have to make one comment. Russians live in the apartment buildings. If there’s two-storied America, there’s five-storied Russia. It doesn’t mean everyone lives in the five-storied buildings. I live on the tenth floor of the sixteen-storied tube. There are generally one, two or three rooms [plus kitchen, bathroom, etc.] in the apartment, depends on a family. However doesn’t matter how many rooms you have, New Year is celebrated in the room with the better telly. In a Soviet cartoon “Prostokvashino” there is a New Year episode where mailman Pechkin asks everyone what the main decoration of the New Year’s table is. For Russians it’s a TV set. New Year without a telly is a tragedy. So, general picture: the longest table in the apartment is moved to the room with the best TV, somewhere in the corner of that room is a New Year’s tree. It doesn’t really matter that all that plus family and mischievous kids can barely breathe there. That’s how it should go. New Year Eve is a family day. You don’t usually have friends over if you live in a big family. They come later, after the midnight. Before midnight you have to be with your family. I skip here the process of mindless staring at the New Year TV shows we have here. Russia has a lot of that stuff, good or bad. Every channel is trying to amaze the country with it. There are four people in my family and eight top channels [plus about the same amount of junk channels that do have some awesome movies on Dec. 31]. I don’t mind watching movies, but aside from 6pm Irony of Destiny and 3am Some Like It Hot [another New Year movie, surprised, ain’t ya?] we don’t watch movies on New Year. TV shows, yeah. So, you think we fight over the remote and what to watch? We used to, I used to, that is. I was a spoilt kid with a ridiculous taste and was ready to watch anything as long as I found the cast cute. Now that I have set my priorities they surprisingly coincided with my parents’: we watch non-governmental independent channel [they paid me to say that.] So, eat, drink, say cheers, stare at the screen. Till midnight. At 11:55 starts another ceremony every Russian has to participate in. The President addresses the nation and says how cool it’s been to be our President in the past year, how the next year will be better, blah blah blah, then he wishes us Happy New Year, all the best, blah blah blah, then the Kremlin’s chimes go, at that moment someone in the family opens the bottle of champagne [damages a bit of furniture, glass and someone in the family], exactly at 12 everyone congratulates each other, cheers, no kissing please, and drinks the champagne while the anthem is on. Well, just because last year our Russian anthem was changed back to the Soviet, I refuse to acknowledge it as mine and just drink whatever we drink in the family and went to my room to get everyone the presents. You’re still surprised people think I’m negative? So, I’ve got the pressies from my parents, enough filled with hot wine, Olivier, vodka and sandwiches. Now it’s time to move on. Everyone is moving on in different directions. Some go to the main street in the city to be treaded down in the crowds of elephants. Some prefer to keep on circling over Shannon with friends. I try to visit as many chums as I can without using Jo Maxi, which you can’t catch in North St. Pete anyway. Usually it means walking almost drunk, fighting with snow, cold, fireworks and other population of this decent city. Fun, aye? Friends, who don’t live with their families, usually get together. It’s the best way to celebrate New Year. All you need to do is bring a bottle [of anything, if ya can’t choose, bring expensive champagne] or homemade food, presents appreciated. If you don’t drink, then hmm, I think you might want to rethink your choice of where to celebrate New Year. Besides, there are people who don’t drink vodka in Russia, not a biggy, make sure there’s enough soda or juice or milk. *evil grin* January 1 is an unofficial National Day of Leftovers. Fix your health and join your family in line to the fridge to get some more Olivier [could there be more Olivier in the world than in Russia during New Year?]. January 2 is the first semi-sober day, still hangover, but still a day off: more vodka on its way. Ok, I’m kidding here, but Jan. 2 and 3 are days off. So much for New Year. I don’t celebrate Christmas, but people, who do, end up standing with candles for four hours in the church on January 7. The day is notorious for a numerous-hour TV broadcast from some Cathedral in Moscow where Aleksii II serves the Christmas Mass. Old New Year is not a day off, but is a traditional holiday in these parts of the world. Celebrated on the night January 13/14, it comes from the times when the calendar in Russia was two weeks behind the Gregorian calendar. They should’ve moved the Christmas two weeks too, but they did not. So, we first celebrate New Year then Christmas, so does Orthodox Church. Total ignorance of its own religion. Oh well, it’s the whole country like that: totally messed up along with people, government and religion. On that bright note, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!  |
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