"You gonna make at' boy queer!" : Can you cause your child to be gay?
Jan 18 '02
The Bottom Line Ummmmmm... Huhhuhhuhhuh...
It has been few and far between that I've been hit with such a need to write about something. I'm actually going to be serious here. You might be shocked.
Thumbing through Fragglemom's masterpieces, I recently found a review under the subject "Should I raise my child in a Gender-neutral environment?" As always, she did an awesome job, and I can definitely identify with the statement that she dresses her daughter in "whatever's clean", although not in the same way. I have two little boys, and although pink or blue clothing isn't something I've ever had to choose between, I have thought quite a bit about the other aspects of the subject at hand .
*If you are wondering, I don't dress my boys in pink. If you wonder why, it's because they don't make boy's clothing in pink...dumbasses. Plus, although I'm totally contradicting myself here, that would be absolutely weird, sorry.
This all goes deeper than the clothes. Even deeper than the toys, although I'd like to tell you that I was a complete tomboy as a little girl, fishing with my dad, Hotwheels, etc. My dad always bought me "boyish" toys, and I had a hell of a lot more fun than I would have playing with Barbies. But that's just me...and I like to believe that my tomboy childhood is the reason I am secure in my sexuality, yet open minded. My advice is to let your child play with whatever feels comfortable to them, which should be stupid advice to you. As an adult, you should know that.
I'm hoping you do respect your child's individuality, and allow them to be their own person, although I'm sure there's some of you who don't see things the same way I do. I live in Kentucky, people...I've heard some of the most ignorant backwoods comments on the face of the planet, especially in regards to homosexuals. "You gonna make at' boy queer." -- Has to be my favorite. This was actually said to me, by someone I know because I didn't want my son to get dirty. Geesh.
This brings me to the subject of my review. The above was all jibber jabber.
Does the way you raise you child determine his or her sexuality later in life?
My answer...wait, my opinion...NO. There is a simple reasoning behind my thoughts. Do you know why you prefer a certain soft drink? You say because of the way it taste. Why do you like that taste? Because it's not too sweet. Why do you like softdrinks that aren't too sweet? You could go on like this forever, but you could never actually answer the question You like it because you just do. I think sexuality is pure preference, and is all what a person likes. I don't think there is anything you can do to program, change, or rid a person's preference. Deep down inside, their preference will still be there, no matter what you pretend to like.
Letting your son play with dolls, or letting your daughter play with remote control cars isn't going to zap them lesbian and gay. If you are one of the ignorant asses who believe this, you need to pull your head out of your redneck ass and smell the gay pride.
Another parenting question hit me, should you shield your child from the fact that some men marry men, and some women marry women? Not exactly that, but you know what I mean. I've yet to have to address the fact, as I live in a smaller town where homosexuality is virtually hidden, but the day I do, I know what I'll do. I'll simply explain that some people just happen to like members of their own sex as partners, and that that's okay. That's what I feel, and it's better to honest with your children.
I, myself am completely straight. I love men. I find women beautiful, but I don't feel that loving a woman would be right in my heart. I certainly don't find homosexuality gross, and I don't weird around people with those tastes. I hope this is the way my sons will feel when they grow up, presuming they are straight. Trust me, I want them to be, I want grandchildren one day. (DAMN, 22 and discussing being a GRANDMOTHER!) If they did decide to live an alternative lifestyle, I'd never shun them. I accept it, and love them the same, maybe just a tadinny bit more for being who they want to be.
I gave my children life, and with that, the ability to live it their way. As long as they are happy with their lives and good to others, I will be a proud mother.
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Epinions.com ID:
young1028
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Member: Evelyn Parker
Location: Kentucky
Reviews written: 139
Trusted by: 89 members
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