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A Plea to Adoptive ParentsJan 25 '02 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line If you say you will support your child's interest in finding their birth parents, STAY SUPPORTIVE.
I have been very blessed in the way I was brought up as an adopted child. I found out very early that I was "specially chosen by God" for my family. I wouldn't want to change anything. We always celebrate not only my birthday, but also my adoption day. Here comes my plea. My parents always told me that they are supportive of the fact that I want to know my background. I have talked about it since I knew what it meant and I even wrote many essays in school about it. I have ALWAYS wanted to know my birth parents. Simply because I want to tell them thank you for the hard decisions they had to make after I was conceived. That's it. Pretty simple, huh? Well, my parents were supportive until I turned 18, and I got even closer to being able to find out my information. My mother is the worst. She knows I do not want to replace her. We have talked about it several times. There is just something in her that makes her very angry at me right now. I have now been contacted by the state of Tennessee with my fee letter. When I send the money in, they will "determine my eligibility," request my file, make copies of it, and send it to me. I am so excited! I have been waiting for this SO long. But my parents don't even want me to talk about it with them. That hurts my feelings. The one thing I have always thought would happen is my parents would be there with me when I open my file. But now I know it will never happen that way. It really hurts my feelings for them to have done a 180 like this. They PROMISED me support, and have now turned their backs. My plea is that if you DO want to support your child's interest in his or her history, stay supportive no matter how much you might be hurting inside. I know it may hurt you too, but if it is that important to him or her, like it is to me, don't let it rip your family apart. I know that the thought of disaster might run through your head, but at least be there with arms open and shoulders to cry on if that happens. Because who knows, it could end up a very joyous thing that tears of happiness are shed. You never know.  |
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