MONTERICCO, GUATEMALAN FOR PARADISE, WELL NOT QUITE BUT CLOSE ENOUGH,
Feb 26 '02 (Updated May 09 '05)
The Bottom Line Go for the beach, stay for the sunset, try not to step on the turtles.
Walking in loose beach sand in heavy hiking boots ain't easy I'll tell you. One step forward, two steps slipping back seems to be the norm. Try doing it in the hot sun of Central American at noon and it's a pure joy. Add two other factors and it becomes the ultimate vacation experience.
First add a nice heavy pack on your shoulders weighing you down. Actually two packs one hanging from my neck and banging against my chest. This was my only official souvenir of El Salvador, a cheap black nylon gym bag I'd picked up the day before to help carry some of my stuff.
It like the one behind it was stuffed with equal amounts of cheap but heavy and bulky souvenirs and dirty laundry. The former had come from the Copan Mayan Ruins in Honduras also the day before. The later for the most part originated in my apartment in far off Toronto.
The second factor was the smiling little urchin dancing just out of strangling range ahead of me in the sand. Naturally he was literally skipping along unencumbered by such mundane objects as luggage.
I'd bumped into him after walking up through the town from the ferry docks to the beach. There I'd been unsure of which way to turn in order to reach my hotel. The kid had shown up and offered to show me the way for a fee of course.
One look at my stuff and he'd declined to carry any of course. He preferred to skip ahead and encourage me with shouts of "hurry up" and "almost there" in Spanish of course. I'll refrain from remarking on what my replies were aside from saying they were in pure Anglo Saxon and short tiny words of four or so letters.
He'd of course tried to direct me to a beach hotel of his choosing. One of those run by a friend or relative where he'd of course get a nice kick back. I'd declined as I had my sights set on staying at one particular place already, The Hotel Bahule Beach. I'd read about it in both Rough Guide and Lonely Planet and it seemed an interesting little place.
The manager was one Nancy Garver a former Peace Corps volunteer who was supposedly familiar with the area. While I had no expectations of the quality of the place, hey it was a back packer hostel, and it was in both LP and RG, I figured it would at least be clean. It had to be cleaner than the other dumps that lined the beach that I was trudging by.
Finally convincing him that this was where I wanted to stay, unless it was full or a real dump, and then I'd look at his choices, he agreed to show me which one on the beach it was. Of course it was the one at the far end of the beach.
I'd decided to detour to Montericco, the tiny little beach town on Guatemala's Pacific coast before heading on to Guatemala City and the last leg of my mindless wanderings through CA for a couple of reasons. First I figured I could use a day off lazing on the beach. Sure It was only Sunday and technically I'd been lazing on a beach Friday morning but that had been on the other side of the continent.
I also wanted to check out a place mentioned in both of my trusty, and heavy guide, books. Pig Pen's Pub in Montericco was supposedly run by a Canadian expat and having come all that way it would seem impolite to pass by without saying hello.
Montericco is only a couple of hours drive away from Guatemala City, double that time if you're using local public transit. Despite this it is rather isolated. It sits on a narrow spit of land between the ocean and a mangrove swamp. In fact you have to take a ferry through the swamp to get to the town.
There are no telephones, cellular ones aside here, and no police force either. The place fills up on the weekends with people from Guatemala City. Unfortunately this also includes a lot of drunks who race their four wheel drives up and down the beach all day and stagger around the bars at night before passing out. Be careful dealing with them as I noted a couple were armed and displayed the normal "macho" tendencies.
I finally reached my hotel and paid off my pint sized personal annoyance with a couple of coins. He skipped off in search of the next ferry and new victims. Now standing there swaying and looking not unlike the last survivor of Fort Zinderhoff, I realised that once again both Rough Guide and Lonely Planethad got it wrong, again.
Why I was still carrying both let alone one of these volumes around with me was something I was starting to question. Oh yeah that's right the roll of toilet paper I'd brought had got wet the first night in Belize, and it was possible that there might be a need some night.
Nancy Garver no longer ran Hotel Bahule Beach. She left in the summer of 2001. To be honest the new owners had run the place into the ground. The rooms, the grounds and the small pool were all filthy.
They were also overcharging. I stayed there based on the guide recommendation and was billed $8.70 US for a single with private bath. The room was dirty and drab with a small mattress on a slab of concrete under a mosquito net. Water pressure was non existent and the water was turned off for most of the day. Rooms in nearby hotels could be had for as little as half as much.
Security was joke. The seedy individual that showed me to my room handed me a padlock with a single key. I replaced it with one of my own after unpacking and going to the beach. This earned me a dirty look from him upon my return. I guess he'd have to ransack some other poor sucker's room, or actually get a crow bar to break my lock. I also had to beg for a roll of TP and a waste paper basket to toss it in after, don't ask.
They were also charging more on their menu for food and beer than neighbouring places. As much as 50% and their menu didn't reflect this. I pointed this out when ordering lunch and the owner told me the prices had just gone up that week at all the places on the beach. This was a blatant lie as I later found out.
I did all the rest of my eating and drinking at Johnny's Place and/or Kaiman both next door. Both of these hotel/ beach bars have excellent menus, with good prices ($5.00 to $8.00 US) especially the full breakfast at the former for $2.50 US. Johnny's is managed by Sid Eschenbach (sidandjan@amigo.net.gt). Another expat Tony a Scots Irish Canadian also works there. He's a good source of local info.
Johnny's other main attraction are the line of comfortable seats that overlook the beach. The perfect place to relax and feel the sun dry you off after a dip in the ocean. A cold drink in hand and you can watch the more energetic play volleyball or as noted drive drunkenly up and down the beach in 4 wheel drives. It is also the best vantage point in town to catch the sunset from. The sunset by the way in Montericco is breathtaking.
Kaiman next door is also a good place especially late at night when Johnny's shuts down. The house speciality is Pizza made in a large brick oven right on the beach. It's other attraction is movie night. A generator powered TV and VCR and a stack of bad B-movies usually badly dubbed. The perfect way to cap off an evening with a a cold beer or two and a semi circle of budding movie critics sprawled in the sand.
Pig Pens Pub was of course closed down, LP and RG were batting a thousand this trip. The former owner Mike from Canada was still around though. He can usually be found at Johnny's or Kaiman. He's a wealth of local information especially regarding tours of the local mangrove swamp and other eco trips. He also advised me he plans to reopen Pig Pens in 2002.
Both Tony and Mike told me that they and a couple of other expats and others are trying to form a local business association to improve the town. First priorities include a garbage pick up which is needed. Second would be a local police presence to deter the rowdies that come in on the weekend.
The main attraction at Montericco is the beach. Miles of straight edged dark grey sand stretching to the horizon. The surf is both powerful refreshing, but be cautious. There's no reef here and the undertow can be dangerous.
Also worth seeing if you're lucky enough to be there at the right time of year are the turtle races. Montericco, or rather the surrounding swamps contain a turtle preserve. When nature calls the eggs hatch and the baby turtles make their way to the wide expanse of the ocean. It can be fun to watch. Once again ask Mike for details.
Montericco is a rather isolated place to get to, or at least it just seems that way. However if you're in the area it's worth the effort. Just don't make the same mistake I did. Go to Johnny's and over a cold beer ask Sid, Mike, or Tony where to get a room. Oh yeah and take your boots off at the ferry dock. Bare feet is the way to go.
Other Articles on Guatemala
Tikal
http://www.epinions.com/content_121484906116
Pension Meza
http://www.epinions.com/content_55394864772
Puerto Barrios
http://www.epinions.com/content_55183642244
Border crossing Honduras/Guatemala
http://www.epinions.com/content_2442043524
Night Bus to Tikal
http://www.epinions.com/content_3104678020
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