I am a SAHM by choice and proud!Mar 06 '02 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Wouldn't give it up for the world.
Everywhere I turn I encounter people who have misconceptions about SAHMs (Stay at Home Moms). Now, I am sure these stereotypes stem from somewhere and there are some SAHMs who do fit them. As a group we are often labeled as such, but I for one refuse to be. Care for a little window into our world? Myth Gosh.. where do I start? The most common ones have to do with the daily activities of a SAHM. You know.. You've heard 'em... SAHMs sit on their butts all day reading romance novels. SAHMs sit around and stuff Bon Bons into their mouths. SAHMs park themselves in front of the sofa and watch soaps all day. And the stupid question people ask.. "What do you do all day?". Then there are the people who make sweeping generalizations about SAHMs. Like..SAHMs are uneducated. SAHMs are old-fashioned, and "helping to keep women down".. you know, the old addage "A woman's place is in the home". And then there's the financial commentary. Usually its, SAHM's are too lazy to find a job and would rather live on welfare. Or on the opposite end of the spectrum the implication that your husband/family must be wealthy so you can afford staying at home. Even on Epinions, I've run into many who have the wrong idea about SAHMs, or like to pigeon-hole them. The idea that all SAHMs sit around madly rubberstamping and clicking on each others reviews, for example. Fact I refuse to be pigeonholed. Being a SAHM is not about any of the above statements. I haven't read a romance novel in at least 10 years. I'm not even remotely interested in romance novels, sorry. As for Bon Bons..I've never eaten one, (in fact I recently asked someone what a Bon Bon was!) I like chocolate and ice cream though, I might have to try one at some point. I'm happy to report that the last program of Days of Our Lives that I watched was many moons ago. I'm quite proud of my education and employment experience. A 4 year college degree and advanced coursework does not equate to uneducated in my book. As for being a feminist, well, to me, part of being a feminist is supporting the freedom to choose. I choose to be a Mother in the home as opposed to the workplace. Its my decision. As for our financial background. Thats really none of anyone's business. But I will share with you, that I've never been on welfare a day of my life. But we are not wealthy here either, by any means. Part of living on one income is spending wisely. I use coupons to save on grocery and household items and also take advantage of refunding opportunities. I consider it a challenge to see how much I can save. Its difficult but we get by and live fairly comfortably. And as for being "too lazy to find a job", on the contrary. I have had positions offered that I have turned down. My decision is to be the primary caregiver to my son as opposed to sending him to a daycare. This was my decision. I'll just touch quickly on the commentary about Epinions SAHMs. I do find it amusing. I am part of a Yahoogroup for SAHM's on the site and honestly we spend more time chit chatting about non-epinions things than link sharing. I've made some wonderful friendships that exist outside of the Epinions.com community. So... I think that answers that :) So Why a SAHM? I had no idea that I would choose to alter my career path in such a drastic fashion once I brought a child into this world. In fact, if you had told me I would be where I am today a year or so ago I probably would have denied it. I was a work-a-holic. Now, I am a mom-a-holic. Whatever I do, I do 100%. When I get involved in a project I dive right in and contribute as much as I can. I was well respected in my career field and was on a fast track for success. Now, I am well-respected as Mom. In addition to my career being a mother is something that I wanted for a very long time. I've always imagined myself having kids and being there for my kids. Not to say that my parents were not there for me, because they were. But this is different. I never was quite sure how I would juggle career and parenthood but I guess I always just thought I'd make it happen. But something happened somewhere along the way. Maybe it was heartache and pain that we went through after losing a baby to miscarriage shortly before conceiving our son. Maybe it was the realization that here was this child and another human life that my husband and I are completely responsible for. I'm not sure exactly what made me change my mind but once I held my son in my arms I knew that I had found home. So what does being a SAHM mean This was the best "sacrifice" that I have ever made. In fact, I hesitate to even call it a sacrifice. I am truly blessed with a marvelous gift. My life has changed in a way that I could never have imagined. Instead of wiping off dry erase white boards, I'm now wiping noses, butts, and sticky fingers. Instead of scheduling conference calls, I'm scheduling doctor's appointments. Instead of meetings, play-dates. I spend just as much time reading as I did before (different material of course). Playtime is always fun, and I can't forget naptime. All the other house stuff goes without mentioning, my "job" is first and foremost to be a mother. The benefits and rewards are endless. I cannot measure the unconditional love that I receive on a daily basis. Of course, its a 2-way street as well. Give a lot and get a lot back :) Three words.. It's Worth It! It's not for everyone My choice to be a SAHM was the best for me. I have friends and family who have chosen different paths. I do not believe that my choice is superior or that mothers who work outside of the home are inferior in any way. Motherhood is a journey and there are many paths and trails available. As long as you remember to bring your companions love, patience, and a sense of humour along the way thats all that matters. Enjoy and Celebrate Motherhood.. I know that I am.  |
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