5 BEST, AND 5 WORST HORROR FLICKS
Apr 05 '02
The Bottom Line Take it or leave it... my best and worst picks.
Okay, so I've been a humongous fan of horror movies since I was little. It's amazing that I'm not more maladjusted after watching all of these films. I'm constantly in search of a good scare, and folks, good scares are hard to come by. I would watch every Friday the 13th marathon on TV, (when I didn't know that that series is far from the best) and any that I could catch, when my mother wasn't looking (but of course!). Anyway, I'm really annoyed when I rent a movie and it's nowhere near as good as it promises to be... especially if the cliches are piled on like nobody's business. Here they are, my 5 best and 5 worst horror movies:
5 BEST:
1. Halloween
I don't think John Carpenter has made anything nearly as good as "Halloween," which is kind of sad really. (Did you SEE "Vampires?") First of all, it does a great job of capturing the spirit of an actual Halloween night in Anytown, USA. There is little that is creepier than Michael Meyers just STANDING there. Behind bushes, amongst laundry hanging out to dry... anywhere. His mask just dehumanizes him so much that it is amazing how creepy he becomes. Of course, Jamie Lee Curtis rocks my face off as well, as the screaming babysitter. Anybody has to admit, this movie is WAY better than Friday the 13th, which ripped off Halloween completely. Favorite Moment: When the killer "comes back to life" for the second time, sitting up, and turning his head...
2. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I know the title to this film is often uttered, but how many people out there have actually SEEN it? Right off, the beginning prologue about "the tragedies that befell" a group of traveling hippies, is WAY scarier than the beginning to The Blair Witch Project. ("...years later, their tapes were found...") And though you could not mistake this for real footage, the movie has a very real feeling to it. It really makes you think twice about taking trips to the middle of nowhere. Favorite moment: When a guy goes into the room with the meathook, and one of his friends springs out of him from inside a cooler.
3. Dead Alive
Wow. I JUST saw this one after hearing so much about it from many sources. You said it was the goriest film of all time, and you were right!! My lord! It's even more gory than a George A Romero movie. This is ridiculously gory, to be sure. The tone of the movie is a lot like one that you would have seen on "USA Up All Night" (which doesn't sound encouraging, I know... but the creative gore makes up for it). There are some off-kilter comedic moments; in fact, the entire movie is done with a sense of humor. Do NOT watch this if you have a weak stomach. This is a zombie movie, in case you haven't guessed. Favorite moment: When the zombie baby eats it's way THROUGH someone's head.
4. The Shining
I love Stanley Kubrick. My movies would be very much like his if I MADE movies. I think I saw "The Shining" on TV when I was little... and even with commercials it freaked me out. After I saw the murdered little girl twins, I stopped watching. Of course I've seen it several times since. I also love Jack Nicholson, and he does an amazing job of making you uneasy in this movie. As does Shelley Duvall, for some weird reason. I can't believe Steven King didnt' like this movie. No matter; I can take or leave Steven King, but I love Stanley Kubrick any day. Favorite moment: What else? Heeeeeeere's Johnny!!
5. The Exorcist
I swear I TRIED to think of a better example... a less TIRED example than "The Exorcist," but i just couldn't think of one. Part suspense, and part shocker, (how were we so glued to Linda Blair's face for that entire movie?)there is nothing comparable. Those that try to emulate it, don't even come close. Did that tiny little actress really have to memorize those lines, and then go home to mother every night? Shudder to think. Favorite moment: "Your mother sets clocks in Hell!" (we all know what is REALLY said though.)
5 WORST:
*Note* These are all movies made within the last few years, and are for the most part best classified as PSUEDO Horror movies. They promise a lot, but deliver little, if any.
1. Stigmata
Hello! What'd I say about the Exorcist?? This film is SUCH a ripoff of that film, and not nearly as satisfying. The woman being possessed is not close to being as scary as the Reagan character in the Exorcist. "Stigmata" belongs... well I don't think I can say where it REALLY belongs... This movie is far too stylized... and it TRIES with all of it's might to be "COOL." it might as well have been another "I Know What You Did Last Summer."
2. Valentine
TOTALLY "Halloween" but with a different holiday. Basic slasher movie, with some not-so creative ways that the murderer kills. What's with the guy bleeding everytime he kills someone, anyway? The movie also has an ending that you can smell from a mile away. I should have known better.
3. Idle Hands
This HAS to be based on the scene in Evil Dead 2 when the guy cuts his own hand off. But it is stretched into an ENTIRE MOVIE. Admittedly, I like the scene when the top of Dexter Holland's (from The Offspring) skull gets ripped off by the hand. That's about it though. I didn't expect much from this, but I thought it would be better than this monstrosity.
4. Disturbing Behavior
This IS "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" for the "Scream" generation. First of all.... HORRIBLE title... even FANS of the movie would have to agree with me there. I don't know... it's barely worth commenting on.
5. (The last half of) Jeepers Creepers
Okay, I LOVED the first half of this movie! Who would have thought that a TRUCK, in full daylight could be so scary? I was still with them when they found the pipe, and the strange work of art below the church... but.. come on!!! The psychic lady... the use of an old song for "creepyness," the creature that can't be killed... so laden with horror cliches, that I LAMENTED at the end! I was so disappointed in this ending, that I had to include it in the worst list, even with the amazing beginning.
Don't bother seeing any of the aforementioned five movies... that is unless you just LOVE every "Scream" clone that comes along... Though Scream was a good movie... the movies it spawned, in all of their pursuits to be "cool" just make me sick.
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musicmitigator
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Member: Chris
Location: Iowa... yes, Iowa
Reviews written: 19
Trusted by: 4 members
About Me:
Striving to make an artform of appreciating other people's art.
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