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Re: response to milestones (Reply to this comment)
by maggsmomm
Nope you aren't alone. Many of us feel, have felt, will feel this way.
Its perfectly normal to grieve. Just remember when it starts to interfere with your daily life please seek help. There are groups out there for this purpose.
I know I got so low I didn't think I could go on, much less move on. Thats when you need some support.
Ill keep you in my prayers...There is something better for you out there. Never lose faith!
Jana
MM
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Jan 01 '03
9:38 pm PST
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Re: Milestones......My divorce (Reply to this comment)
by maggsmomm
I know you don't know it now-but eventually you will see and feel closure and know you are better off.
It may take a while-they say for every year your together take off 6 months to recoup. I highly recommend this!
The best advice I have to offer, is this:
Once you are with someone for so long you kinda lose you. So much time is spent being ONE and its only natural to feel alone when the relationship is over. You need that time to rediscover you and once that has happened you can move forward not only with your life, but in other relationships.
Second piece of advice:
Men are like buses-if you wait around long enough another will come on by.
GL Hun,
Jana
MM
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Jan 01 '03
9:34 pm PST
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Re: Wow! (Reply to this comment)
by maggsmomm
Thank you Jude-
You know you mean the world to me! Muah :0* Jana
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Apr 26 '02
2:41 pm PDT
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Re: I can really emphathize (Reply to this comment)
by maggsmomm
Thank you Jen....
I totally understand not "communicating." I am a talker, he "pouts" -how we ever ended up together? Go figure! Thanks for your nice comments! :0) Jana
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Apr 26 '02
2:40 pm PDT
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Wow! (Reply to this comment)
by artbyjude
A very powerful posting, of a very personal MILESTONE in your life! I can identify with much of what you say here. Can I get credit for "two" milestones, having done it twice....? It makes me think it must be me, (or my notoriously bad taste in choosing a spouse).
Thanks for being willing to share this. It could really help so many who are tortured by self-doubt, and suffering the pangs of this milestone in their lives. Jude
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Apr 21 '02
11:31 am PDT
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I can really emphathize (Reply to this comment)
by jlava73
My first husband walked out in much the same way
when my oldest child was only 8 months old. I know
the pain of Not Knowing why.
I eventually came to the understanding that I may
have played a role, but in the end I began to see
that he really had problems communicating and
coupled with his leading a double life, I consider
myself lucky that he did walk out and not do
something much more drastic.
I was deeply touched by your essay!
Eventually the pain does ease up.
Best Wishes,
Jenn
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Apr 20 '02
10:50 am PDT
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Re: Thanks for participating in the write off. (Reply to this comment)
by maggsmomm
Thank you Talia for inviting me and congrats on YOUR milestone!! I had a blast! :0) Jana
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Apr 16 '02
3:56 pm PDT
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Thanks for participating in the write off. (Reply to this comment)
by naphtalia
It takes real courage to go through divorce. Even more to share your story and help others the way you did.
G-d bless you and bring you many happy milestones in the years to come.
Great job.
talia
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Apr 16 '02
5:03 am PDT
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Not all milestones . . . (Reply to this comment)
by gungian
. . . are causes for celebration.
Growing out of and learning from "the big D" are probably more significant milestones than the divorce itself.
Thanks for sharing your inspirational story.
Write On!
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Apr 16 '02
3:55 am PDT
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This is for all of you..... (Reply to this comment)
by maggsmomm
Who have reached out and said exactly what I needed to hear instead of criticizing me for not moving on as fast as possible. I so appreciate the love and support. More so, I appreciate being able to be honest and having people that are truly caring respond in such a loving way...it gives me hope that there are some people out there that do really care....and the world isn't as awful as it seems sometimes!
Luvs to you all! & Thanks for being YOURSELVES!
Jana :0)
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Apr 14 '02
9:28 pm PDT
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wow! (Reply to this comment)
by shelxland
Jana... having been there I truly, truly feel for you right now. But let me tell you girl, the sun will come out more and more and there will be less and less cloudy days. I promise.
One thing that helped me was reading. I read everything from romance novels to how-to books to self help books. Two that helped me the most were "Are you the one for me?" by Barbara DiAngeles and "In the meantime," by Iyanla Vanzant.
I made a tape full of "strong" and "independent" woman songs and I played it everywhere I went. In my car, on my walkman when I walked, I even danced around the house to it. Songs like I will Survive by Gloria Gaynor, I've got better things to do by Terri Clark or A Girl's Gotta Do What a Girl's Gotta Do by Mindy McCready.
Honey, the one thing I know for sure is that you HAVE to run the gammut of these emotions to make you better. And that is who you have to worry about right now. =+)
I'm thinking about you. Remember the countless friends that you have!!
Hugs... Shelley
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Apr 14 '02
7:52 am PDT
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Let it all out there review (Reply to this comment)
by SurgRN911
a wonderful emotion packed post. Many moons ago, my (ex) husband did basically the same thing. I don't feel as though I had to endure the pain you did, because after 16 years of lies, drinking, and cheating I found it as a relief. It was my young son I ached for.
But as in everything I believe it was for the best. We may NEVER understand the whys of lifes events, and the best payback is to move on. My son has grown to a fine man, and perhaps that would not have happened with things the way they were.
This was a hard post for you I am sure, but one that could help many others. I am sorry for the pain you suffered, and may you be blessed with a future of happy events.
Di
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Apr 14 '02
6:56 am PDT
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I (Reply to this comment)
by kay67
am going through all the same emotions. I thought we could make it, but I'm finding out he loves his family more than his wife. If he ever loved me at all. I am very depressed right now and can't keep my mind on one thing long enough. I would share my thoughts on this subject but it would end up unprintable.
I will survive, I just wonder at the damage they are causing my kids?
Take care hun.
Wanda
the soon to be single/working mother
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Apr 13 '02
10:23 pm PDT
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Most Helpful: (Reply to this comment)
by BrendaMetcalf
If there ever were a more helpful review it is this. So glad to know you never let the depression destroy your spirit. My sister's divorce left her 200 lbs heavier and a cold heart.
Brenda
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Apr 13 '02
6:00 pm PDT
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Wow... (Reply to this comment)
by tritter72
Jana, you really put your heart into this review. I know that there are many people out there who are feeling like you, and this is bound to help. Keep your head up...you're doing great!
Tammi
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Apr 13 '02
5:38 pm PDT
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Jana!!! (Reply to this comment)
by marytara,  in Kids & Family
This must have taken you forever to write and its really incredible.
Now, go enjoy your day with Maggie, oK???
MaryTara
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Apr 13 '02
11:47 am PDT
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Re: Awesome (Reply to this comment)
by maggsmomm
Thanks so much for the compliment~Ha Ha I didnt know I was mature! Lol :0) Jana
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Apr 13 '02
11:46 am PDT
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Awesome (Reply to this comment)
by flamepillar
It's rare to see someone tackle this issue with such maturity while still keeping an open heart. Never let go of that!
Take care and good luck finding your closure.
FP
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Apr 13 '02
10:47 am PDT
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