Zombies and the Bora Bora Horror! (An Evening at the Tonga Room)
Written: Jun 07 '01 (Updated Feb 04 '03)
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Pros: The Kitsch! The Cheese!
Cons: Parking is a pain.
The Bottom Line: Approved by four out of five Tiki Gods!
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| megugrrrl's Full Review: Tonga Room |
Part Enchanted Tiki Room, part Jungle Cruise of Disneyland, brought together by that retro lounge feel, the Tonga Room in Nob Hill is one serious lounge/restaurant for all Tiki Bar fanatics, uninitiated locals, and tourists who enjoy campy, cheesy, and of course Las Vegas. It's usually busy with groups of friends celebrating birthdays, senior citizen tourists wearing shorts and sweatshirts, occasional hipsters at the bar, and middle-aged couples in cocktail garb dancing on the ship's deck.
One of the best things about this place is the pseudo-Polynesian ambiance. It’s definitely garish and dark, and that’s why I love it. (I always feel like I’ll either run into Ricardo Montalban or Tim Burton when I’m here) Dark and tropical, with lots of foliage, fake flowers, a giant lily-infested "lagoon" resembling a swimming pool, huts with thatched roofs, and a smackling of Robinson Crusoe. Every half an hour or so a tropical storm breaks out, complete with booming thunder and lightning (it’s really just fake rain from the ceiling pouring into the lagoon). And as if that weren’t enough, in the middle of the lagoon is a boat with a bad (no, not in the Michael Jackson kind of way) band that floats about the restaurant. But wait, there’s more.
The Horror… (Bora Bora, that is.)
What tiki lounge would be complete without the syrupy cocktails served in tacky glasses? My favorite concoction, complete with a pineapple wedge stabbed by a paper umbrella is the Bora Bora Horror (rum, banana liqueur, Grand Marnier, pineapple juice) which comes in a light brown ceramic Tiki head and the Pineapple Royale (champagne, rum and juice) served in a hollowed out pineapple. (around $8 each) The ultimate in flamboyant and flashy is the Lava Bowl – for a mere $25 you and your friends can share this ultra-goofy cocktail served in a bowl.
The Food
The menu is definitely (for lack of a better term) Pan-Asian. You’ll find Thai Coconut soup, Mongolian Beef, Satay Chicken, Lumpia, Chow Mein and Terkiyaki steak all on the same menu. Quite eclectic and not very authentic, but also palatable, and at best, average. (entrees range from $20 – $30). Marinated in Hawaiian huli huli sauce (ginger/soy) and served with sauteed veggies, the Wok-Seared Huli Chicken (around $20) was tender and flavorful, but not enough to beckon me back. The dessert menu shows off even more tropical/Chinese things, like delicately tart lychee ice cream and a number of desserts featuring coconut. Everything is just plain ol' OK.
The food, while decent, isn’t the reason behind why one would ever go to the Tonga Room.
One way to get a feel for the Tonga Room without having to dish out $30 a head (without cocktails) for dinner is to hang out at the Hurricane Bar for Happy Hour during the week (5:00 – 7:00 ish). For $6 each, you can partake in the all-you-can-eat bar appetizer buffet (with a one drink minimum) - a buffet table laden with campy décor like a ceramic gold Buddah and big open paper fans surrounded by Chinese - inspired appetizers, assorted cheeses, carrot sticks, and crudite. The only downside is that not all the drinks come in fancy glasses during happy hour.
Service Sidenote and other Drawbacks
The service is 50/50 here – Overall the staff is friendly and generally attentive but don’t let the oftentimes slow servers ruin your evening. Remember, you’re at the Tonga Room for the kitsch.
Unfortunately, as cool as this place sounds - it's really not that great, and despite an expensive facelift, it's still feels old and tired.
Parking
As with most places in the city, parking can be a hassle and parking at a hotel expensive. Since the Tonga Room is at the fancy Fairmont Hotel, parking costs $5 for every 20 minutes.
Recommended:
Yes
Kid Friendliness: No
Vegetarian Friendly: No
Best Suited For: Friends
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