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Beware of the Dog and Pony Show!!May 05 '02 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line You can never be too careful when choosing daycare. Ask questions, call local agencies and get all the facts before making a choice.
Despite the fact that one of my children was almost killed by an in-home, licensed daycare provider, I am not anti-daycare - although the day after the "accident” I began telecommuting and now I rarely let anyone I don't know very well watch my children. This year I allowed my four year old to go to preschool part time - which was very hard to do - I cried for days after signing the paperwork. I was 99% sure that nothing bad would happen to her, and she was old enough and secure enough to tell me if anything wrong happened. When it came to picking a center I almost became a stalker - I did my homework about the centers - called the licensing department to get reports and called the BBB, we visited the center repeatedly, watched the center from my car - to see how kids were watched and treated during outside time, asked questions, and dropped in without an appointment. I was well within my rights to do each and every one of these things, and had the center told me to back off, I surely wouldn't have let Claire go there. If they refused to let me visit unannounced, I would wonder what they had to hide or what they didn't want me to know. So far it has been a fabulous year for both Claire and myself - she is having fun and socializing with children other than siblings - it is helping to prepare her to go to kindergarten next fall. Never once during the searching process did I feel that this center "dog and pony" showed me - that is they didn't make false claims about the program they run (they explained how they teach and how they discipline and it has always been that way), they didn't fudge about staff to children ratios an they didn't lie about class size. What I was told during those visits is what happens when I am not there to keep my eye on Claire. What made me want to write about this topic (again) is that I think too many novice parents get "dog and pony" showed by in-home providers. Before you jump on my back, I know there are fabulous in home providers who are in it for the right reasons - love of children and wanting to provide top notch care. I am speaking now specifically about the lady who snowed me and almost killed my child and the nightmare of a "daycare" that is next to my home. When I looked for daycare for my three children it was under the worst possible circumstances. I had already agreed to continue using the in-home provider who was watching my children before I gave birth. We agreed upon a price and after delivering, we agreed upon a return date. Contracts were modified and signed. With one week to go until I returned to work - the provider did a 180 - all of a sudden she wanted a lot more money and there were all these little other problems she had. I agree that she might deserve to get paid more for what she did, but I also wasn’t going to work outside the home to have 3/4ths of my salary pay for daycare. The crunch was on and I was in a bind - I had two babies under two and wanted them in the same home, not so easy to find when the license only allowed that many babies in a home. I scrambled around and scheduled interviews. I felt lucky to find someone by my home who said all the right things, had good references and had two infant openings. She talked about the program she ran and how a day would be for my kids - leaving out the part about the 13 year old helper an the fact that she really didn't like kids that much and oh by the way crying makes me mad and I may be prone to cover you child's mouth if they cry. Heck if honesty were the best policy I'd have never picked her and my baby would have never spent a week in the hospital. In fact she probably would have never had a license. I learned my lesson the hard way, but you don't have to. Now on to my neighbor - the ultimate dog and pony show and one I am helpless to stop without fear of a lawsuit. Nothing could have floored me more than the day I got a letter from my HOA saying they had agreed to let my neighbor run a daycare (only so many are allowed in our coven). I started laughing and looked at the calendar - surely it must be April 1st or someone in the county had to be smoking dope to give this lady a license. I admit I was peeved - I just built a very expensive home in a very new/nice neighborhood - I really didn't do that so I could have kids running all over my yard and yanking flowers out of my garden. Boy, you must think I'm quite the b!tch - no, not really - I've just been witness to what goes on at her home. First off, this lady can sell her daycare without really trying. Who wouldn't be impressed with the manicured lawns, big yards and brand new homes - isn't that just the kind of place you imagine leaving your child at? The development is right near the freeway entrance and located in the same neighborhood as the elementary school. However upon arriving at her home is something that should make you think twice - look at all the lovely manicured lawns, but hers seems a bit odd - while no cars are up on bricks in the side yard, the lawn is completely burned out and full of weeds, and is just over a year old. No other lawn looks that way. Is she just so busy with those kids and the daycare that she has no time for the lawn - nope it's just her way - she feels no need to adhere to the rules of the HOA and despite many tickets refuses to correct the situation. When you see signs like this as you approach a home think carefully - if she can't care for her lawn properly, can she really care for your child properly. Maybe yes, maybe no - but do you really want to risk it with something so valuable? Next, I've been inside her home - it is always neat and tidy, I give her points she makes a fabulous presentation -a big clean house with lots of room to play, seems perfect. Of course did she share with you that she has a job - she works evenings and gets home around 6:30 am - that means she has about an hour to power nap before you drop off your baby - do you think that makes for an alert and able provider, but again how would you know, she left that part out. Did she tell you that her 14 year old daughter will be doing most of the providing after she get s home from school? Again, this may not bother you, but this isn't the type of care I would pay for. Did she bother telling you that several neighbors have called CPS about the way she neglects her children? I don't think that something she would bring up in a conversation. I've called several times. Why you ask? Well, her one and two year old seem to have free reign. I don't believe she even knows they're outside half the time - I've knocked on the door to let her know that I spotted them down the street and she was like, "yeah is there a problem?” I've seen them as far as half a mile away from the home wandering around in the cold in just PJs and no shoes. (And keep in mind this is a construction site with huge holes in the ground and lots of big dangerous equipment) They are also constantly playing unsupervised in her non-fenced in yard. Maybe it's me, but no child that young should be outside without an adult - especially if their favorite game is jumping from the central air conditioner unit to the heating unit). I don’t even like to entertain the thought of them being snatched or run over, but it is a big possibility. Every time I see a couple pull up with a child I want to scream - don't do it, turn around and leave. I can't because I'll get sued, but somebody needs to look out for the kids. I will also add there are a bunch of other homeowners and parents who feel the same way. In giving examples about the things I have been through and witnessed with bad day cares I think you can learn a lot. Yes it is wise to go the interview prepared and ask all the right questions about care, programs, meals, discipline, etc. To tour the home and see all the rooms the daycare will be held in. To see the license and ask how long they provider has been in service. It is equally important to call the licensing agency to see if any complaints have been logged about the provider. Beyond that, it might be wise to call CPS and see if any complaints have been logged about the sitter in regards to her own children. The way she treats them greatly reflects the way she will treat yours. Call the HOA that allowed the home to be opened - see if neighbors have logged complaints about the day care or about other behaviors of the provider in relation to the rules of the HOA - this can speak volumes to character, which is very important when you choose daycare. Drive by the provider’s home several times at different times of the day. See if children are playing unsupervised or exactly who is watching the kids. You can even do this prior to calling and scheduling an interview if the county referral service gives you the provider’s address. Drop by unannounced. See how long it takes the provider to answer the door and the state of the home when she wasn't expecting parents. Ask point blank questions that may throw her off guard. Be bold; ask, "why does you lawn look so bad and do you intend to let my child play on all those weeds?" If you don't like answers you get, keep pressing the point until you feel satisfied. After all it is your child and you only have one of them, you need to do what is in that child's best interest. Ask to see violation tickets (or whatever they may be called in your area). These are citations given to the provider when inspectors come out to the home - generally it is a list of things that are found to be wrong or need to be corrected. Sometimes these tickets may be recent and would not show up if you called the licensing agency. Also, if you choose care, don't feel locked in. If you get a little nagging voice don't push it away, look into the problem that bothers you. You may feel embarrassed to bring up something with a provider that bothers you and they think is no big deal. If it is important enough to bother you, follow up - many times you get this feeling for a valid reason. In closing I will say I agree there are many excellent in-home providers (unfortunately they usually operate at capacity because of that fact). In my area I can name many I would suggest to friends and co-workers and the lady next door would not be one of them. I am not anti-day care, despite the fact that I lived through every parent’s worst nightmare. We were lucky in that our son is fine today despite being harmed. My experiences have taught me that you can never be too pushy, ask too many questions, visit too many times, call too many places before you pick a provider - this is your child and you have every right to make sure you feel confident that they will receive excellent care as promised by the provider. Don't be suckered in by a dog and pony show, get the real picture before you make a choice.  |
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