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Re: Dammit! (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Ahh, Sybase's database documentation... a hidden comic gem in every appendix!
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Jan 21 '04
3:35 am PST
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Dammit! (Reply to this comment)
by optionexplicit
I'm trying to read these on the sly at work. Now, I have to pretend that I just barked out an unsuppressable laugh at Sybase's database documentation...or that I have Tourette's or something.
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Jan 20 '04
2:59 pm PST
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Re: You pootie-licious beeyotch!! (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Love your quote, but it's "kine" NOT "tine."
You're right! Done.
Didja see the movie? Wasn't it awful???
Yes on both counts. I love it.
Love,
I'm not here...really.
Love,
Me neither.
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Feb 21 '03
12:45 am PST
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Re: Holy Shit! (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Oh, my virgin ears! Please curb your language, Officer. I don't appreciate cursing.
In the future when I post epinions (ha!), I'll not only email you personal alerts... I'll break into your apartment, print them out (after having to add toner, damnit), bust into your bathroom at the most inopportune moment, and hold it in front of your squinting eyes for you to read.
(I say "squinting" in order to imply what you'd be doing at the moment -- I'm not saying that you have a squinty look about you, or that you squint too often. No, not at all.)
Christmas went off without a snitch. That is to say, we sealed the snitch in the basement before dumping out our Christmas stockings and reveling in the shower of batteries and Morton's salt packets.
My parents give the strangest stocking stuffers.
Well, thanks for stopping by, Ossifer! It's always a pleasure. And remember... Christmas isn't Christmas without the Jesus Action Figure!
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Feb 21 '03
12:42 am PST
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Re: Bah (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
HOLY SHIZZLETARTS! I THINK MY COMMENTATIOUS NOTIFLICATIONIZER IS ON THE FRITZ.
Catz, I've never seen Some Like It Hot.
Or have I?
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Feb 21 '03
12:28 am PST
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You pootie-licious beeyotch!! (Reply to this comment)
by tootsweet824
Love your quote, but it's "kine" NOT "tine."
Didja see the movie? Wasn't it awful???
Love,
I'm not here...really.
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Feb 18 '03
1:46 pm PST
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Holy Shit! (Reply to this comment)
by Officer
This is one of the funniest things I've read on this blasted site... how come I didn't read this sooner? You need to personally email me when you post your next review, cuz I NEVER look at my email alerts.
I just stopped by tonight to wish you a Merry Christams and all that crap. I hope Mommy Monolith is feeding you well this season! (That should never be read as sexual as it comes off.)
Hang an ornament on baby jeezus for me and have a good one. Peace! ~Ryan
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Dec 24 '02
11:07 pm PST
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Bah (Reply to this comment)
by catzmit
I have to disagree, I loved Some Like it Hot, but then again, I didn't like most of the movies AFI recommended. It's so painfully obvious you know best. ;-) Cheers darling!
-Catzmit-
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Oct 21 '02
9:20 am PDT
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Re: and another thing! (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
mattjoe,
I know! I mean, REALLY!!
-happyskyfunolith
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Jun 04 '02
8:33 pm PDT
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and another thing! (Reply to this comment)
by mattjoe
there is simply no excuse for spielberg to have not sprung for some color film after he made all that money off the jurassic park movies. Dude brought dinosaurs back to life and couldnt buy some color film for a movie? WHATS UP WITH THAT!
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Jun 04 '02
1:18 pm PDT
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Re: Re: A-Ha! (Reply to this comment)
by garym
Mr Monolith and Ms Petraglyph,
I´m reporting you both of you. Now if I could only find a reason.
I do appreciate the listing of Fargo. It brings me back to my potato salad days, don´t cha know then.
RegulatedHappyFunLithium
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May 28 '02
4:43 pm PDT
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Re: A-Ha! (Reply to this comment)
by Petra
Higher knowledge of the film industry? Ha!
I checked. Those movies aren't even real. I'll report you to abuse, Mr. Mononlith.
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May 28 '02
5:16 am PDT
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Re: Re: But! (Reply to this comment)
by Hypotenuse
From Nat King Cole to Coney Hatch to Gene Krupa, many artists have recorded a song called "Some Like It Hot," so, no, you haven't been wrong all these years. Now don'tcha feel better?
Thank you. Yes, I feel much better. Didn't want to go around embarrassing myself by making ignorant remarks. It is not a widely known fact but, I do not watch movies. At all. Music? Yes. But not movies.
Now I will be able to discuss these particular movies intelligently when the subject comes up.
Thanks muchos!
;-) Lynne
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May 27 '02
3:12 pm PDT
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Re: A-Ha! (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
niffer,
"The truth is that you don't like any of these movies because none of them have any man-on-man gratuities."
Is that like gay sex with tipping? Do guys really tip each other after they have hot gay sex?
Hmm. I never knew that.
Take On Me,
happyskyfunolith
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May 27 '02
11:40 am PDT
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A-Ha! (Reply to this comment)
by nifer
You're just trying to fool everyone and steer them astray with this higher knowledge you have of the film industry. But I know the truth, and you can't hide from it. The truth is that you don't like any of these movies because none of them have any man-on-man gratuities.
I'm sorry I have to out you like this, but it's just not fair that you're making everyone else look dumb because they happen to think all that sand and snow is not boring.
xoxo ~ jennifer
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May 27 '02
8:18 am PDT
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Re: Re: VH! (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Robinphoid,
You observed, "Well shit, you got not one, but two hidden Off-Topics! How did you manage to pull that one off!?"
Easy! All I had to do was put my "10 Worst" list in the "10 Best Movies Ever" category, hope that some nitpickers would drop by, and... vóilà!
This was made simple by the fact that Epinions has more "best movies" advice categories than "worst movies" ones. To illustrate, the only "worst movies" topics available in the database are: "10 Worst Movies of 2000," "10 Worst Movies of 1999," "10 Worst Movies of the 1990s," and "10 Worst Movies of the 1980s."
It was just that easy! I continue to be delighted by people who are quick to rate Off-Topic without realizing or caring that when I post off-topic, it is only because I'm forced to do so, due to the inadequacies of the database with which I'm working.
Factor in the subtle irony that these are actually some of my favorite films (except, of course, for the three I haven't seen yet), and I've got myself not one, but two Grade-A ding-dongs.
Thanks for helping me rant,
happyskyfunolith
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May 27 '02
2:12 am PDT
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Re: VH! (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Ethan,
"...isn't that Citizen Cane one about that funny psychologist who lives in Seattle? The one who kills his brother and tries to cover it up?"
No. That was Bambi.
Thanks,
happyskyfunolith
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May 26 '02
9:11 pm PDT
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Re: Thanks, Sky (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
sexyaunt,
My my, I had no idea my piece would cause all this confusion. "Psycho" is not only both a film and your ex's pet name, it is also the newest Pop•Tart® flavor.
cock cock cock,
happyskyfunolith
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May 26 '02
9:05 pm PDT
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Re: But! (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
hypolynne,
From Nat King Cole to Coney Hatch to Gene Krupa, many artists have recorded a song called "Some Like It Hot," so, no, you haven't been wrong all these years. Now don'tcha feel better?
Thanks for dropping by,
happyskyfunolith
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May 26 '02
8:56 pm PDT
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Re: Just another day (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
flamep,
"...the wife in John Q was played by Tracy Chapman."
Heh, for a second there, I thought you were saying that John Q was played by Tracy Chapman. Forget the wife!
As wise as your pooch is, does he have a blue hat? If not, he's not authorized to make your rating decisions for you. Please provide photographic proof of your pup donning his chapeau.
Best,
happyskyfunolith
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May 26 '02
8:31 pm PDT
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Re: you, sir... (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Curtis,
And you, sir, have problems too... the main one being poor mouse-hand dexterity. But I forgive you.
-happyskyfunolith
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May 26 '02
8:21 pm PDT
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Re: blissless movies (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Sordiferous,
Odysseus and Cyclops? O Brother.
You are right about the colors of The Orange Clockwork... especially about one of them being orange. I'm glad we're in agreement.
Turning his head and coughing,
happyskyfunolith
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May 26 '02
8:18 pm PDT
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Re: A penis (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Roxy,
For the life of me, I can't understand why you would bring up penises, breasts and porn. As you should know, I try to refrain from discussing such things.
But thank you for stopping by.
-happyskyfunolith
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May 26 '02
8:15 pm PDT
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Re: VH! (Reply to this comment)
by xiphoid
Well shit, you got not one, but two hidden Off-Topics! How did you manage to pull that one off!?
xoxo Robin
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May 26 '02
5:38 pm PDT
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VH! (Reply to this comment)
by HawgWyld
Even though I'm not sure you are familiar with some of these. For example, isn't that Citizen Cane one about that funny psychologist who lives in Seattle? The one who kills his brother and tries to cover it up?
Ah, well. It was funny, at least...
Ethan / HawgWyld
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May 26 '02
3:00 pm PDT
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Thanks, Sky (Reply to this comment)
by jsaunt
And here I thought that "Psycho" was just my pet name for my ex. I didn't know that there was a movie of the same name. Who is this Alfred Hitchcock guy, anyway? Hey! Can we say that on Epinions????
Leslie/JFSA
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May 26 '02
9:50 am PDT
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Re: Re: Yeah!!! (Reply to this comment)
by megugrrrl
shit that's always funny.
cheese,
megoogleotard
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May 26 '02
9:17 am PDT
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But! (Reply to this comment)
by Hypotenuse
I thought Some Like It Hot was a song. I've been wrong all of these years? Very educational review.
Lynne
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May 26 '02
8:55 am PDT
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Just another day (Reply to this comment)
by flamepillar
I knew there had to be a reason I had never seen any of these. Once again, it's my karma that has saved me. I love the "played by Obi Wan Kenobi", that's even better than when I said that the wife in John Q was played by Tracy Chapman.
As for the rating, I didn't know what to do so I asked my dog. He's always been smarter than I.
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May 26 '02
8:28 am PDT
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you, sir... (Reply to this comment)
by CurtisEdmonds
have problems.
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May 26 '02
6:30 am PDT
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