I’ve always liked many different types of movies. I have enjoyed some mindless action movies. Just a few months ago I really liked Crank because it managed to be entertaining. That doesn’t happen with all action movies and I’ve sat through some really bad ones. I’m still not sure why I went to see The Marine.

John Triton was discharged from the Marines for disobeying a direct order. It didn’t matter that he managed to save the lives of three other Marines being held captive at the time. Once he was back home, he immediately went to work as a security guard. He told his wife Kate that he couldn’t just sit around at home when she suggested he wait a little while before starting the job. His first day didn’t go well and Kate convinced him that they should go on a short trip.

Rome was in charge of a small group that robbed a jewelry store. One of the men, Morgan, seemed to go a bit over board and he shot off some sort of missile at a police car. A day or two later, Rome and his group were on their way to a meet someone else involved in the crime when they stopped for gas. They just happened to stop at the same gas station that John and Kate had stopped at. Morgan freaked out and shot the police officer Rome had been talking to. Rome decided that they needed to change vehicles and they took John’s SUV, keeping Kate as a potential hostage in case they would need one later. John managed to survive a huge explosion at the gas station and he set off after them to rescue Kate.

My expectations were pretty low before I saw The Marine. At the best, I was hoping for a somewhat decent, entertaining action movie. It wasn’t even close. The plot was stupid and very predictable without any surprises. I don’t think a movie has to have a really complicated plot to be good and entertaining. I truly have liked several mindless action movies because they managed to be entertaining. I didn’t think that The Marine was entertaining at all and had too many problems. It was just a series of action scenes, usually with huge explosions, loosely connected with a thin plot.

The Marine started off showing the incident that caused John to be discharged. That action scene did set the tone for the rest of them with John eliminating several enemies alone while dodging bullets. John couldn’t even avoid getting into a fight while on the job as a security guard. He fought off several men again, wrecking most of the lobby in the process. The scene was stupid though I suppose it was meant to show that John was having trouble adjusting to life outside of the Marines. The action scenes just went downhill from there. John and Kate were pulled into the mess with Rome because they stopped at the same gas station. Rome and his flunkies hadn’t hesitated to kill other witnesses or even police officers, so it didn’t make sense that Rome would suddenly decide that they might need a hostage and drag Kate along.

There were entirely too many explosions and stupid action scenes in The Marine. The action scenes were over done and not believable at all. I can suspend belief in movies, but it was just impossible to do in this one. John was in several huge explosions and he survived them all without any burns or other injuries. I know Marines are tough and can handle a lot of situations, but they are human. It was like there was an attempt to make John be like Superman or the Terminator. One of Rome’s men - I think his name was Bennett - even made a joke about John being like the Terminator. No one could survive what John did in this movie. Blowing up every set or location with a huge explosion does not automatically make a good action movie. There was a car chase right after Rome took off with Kate that was ridiculous. The police car that John took had more holes in it than swiss cheese and it still kept going. Somehow, none of the tires or John were ever hit despite the fact that three people in Rome’s vehicle were shooting at him. At one point, the hood just flew off. It got to the point that the action scenes were making me laugh because they were so stupid.

There was a lot of violence throughout The Marine for a movie that was rated PG-13. For the most part it really wasn’t that graphic, though a few scenes did get a bit graphic. Most of the violence happened when John got into fights with other people. He spent a lot of time beating the crap out of people. The fight scenes weren’t even that interesting or impressive because of the way they were filmed. Those scenes were full of cuts to different angles, so it was difficult to tell what was going on. There was a completely pointless sequence that added nothing to the movie other than having John beat up two more men. These guys had some rundown barn where I think they were doing something with drugs and they were upset about the police in the area that were looking for Rome. When John showed up near them, they assumed he was a police officer, so they decided to knock him out, take him back to their place and tie him up. Such a logical idea for possibly dealing with a police officer. So of course John managed to get loose and beat the crap out of them before taking off to continue tracking Rome.

There wasn’t much shared about John and Kate’s relationship other than that they were married. It wasn’t said how long they were married. Once he was back home, they were shown making out a few times. One of the scenes had them having a serious discussion in the middle of making out in the kitchen while both were only wearing underwear. The scene was pointless and seemed just to be there as an excuse for John and Kate to be almost naked. There wasn’t chemistry or much connection between John and Kate, perhaps because they spent most of the movie apart. Rome and the one woman working with him, Angela, did have some sort of sexual relationship going on even though they didn’t seem to trust each other. Rome actually did sort of hit on Kate even though she was his hostage and Angela was near by. There weren’t any actual sex scenes or nudity in the movie.

The Marine had several attempts at humor that mostly failed. A few things that Rome said did make me laugh a little, but it wasn’t enough to save the movie. He was several crayons short of a full box, so a few things he did were a bit amusing. Morgan kept saying bizarre things that I think were supposed to be funny but they weren’t. I laughed more at the things that weren’t intended to be funny. Several times throughout the movie it seemed like the music being used was supposed to be adding humor as well. In one scene when they were in the middle of a swamp and Morgan was talking about being afraid of some person like a character in Deliverance being around and banjo music was played. It was just stupid. Most of the music that was used was just bad and added nothing to the movie.

I didn’t care about any of the characters, which did make it difficult to like the movie. John had been very proud to be a Marine and he had no idea what to do after he was discharged. He kept saying that he was a Marine and needed to work because he’d go nuts sitting at home. That point was made several times early in the movie and got very old. I wasn’t impresses with John Cena’s acting. He didn’t have many lines, but most of the ones he did have he delivered badly. Some of the problem was that the lines were just so horrible to begin with. A few close ups did show that Cena had beautiful blue eyes. Maybe I would have liked the movie more if there were more close ups of his eyes, but I doubt it.

Kate was a loving and supportive wife to John. She wasn’t a wimp and kept fighting to try to get away from Rome and his crew. She did a few things that probably weren’t the smartest things to do in her situation. Kelly Carlson was fine in the part, though nothing really stood out about her performance. I think I like the part she plays in Nip/Tuck better. Rome acted a bit crazed at times and did some strange things. Robert Patrick was the only good thing in the movie and this wasn’t one of his better performances. He was over doing it in some scenes. He can do so much better than this mess of a movie. Morgan had a lot of issues that he brought up at strange times. I think the other man working with Rome was named Bennett, but I’m not sure since he was such a flat character. Angela took an instant dislike to Kate and was ready to kill her more than once.

Main Cast

Manu Bennett - Bennett
Abigail Bianca - Angela
Kelly Carlson - Kate Triton
John Cena - John Triton
Anthony Ray Parker - Morgan
Robert Patrick - Rome

John Bonito - Director

The Marine failed on all levels as an entertaining action movie. It was one giant mess and I have to wonder why Robert Patrick even got involved in the project. People shouldn’t bother watching this movie. This was truly one of the worst movies I have ever seen and I want my money back. One star is far to generous for this mess, but no stars isn't an option.

Recommended: No

Worst Part of this Film: Everything