Waitressing, more than a job...It's an episode of COPS. (Part 2 in a series)
Jun 25 '02 (Updated Oct 23 '02)
The Bottom Line Drugs, guns and police, with a side of hash browns. This is better than television.
The following is the second installment of my most interesting experiences during my illustrious career as a waitress. I was inspired to write these after reading and reviewing a book called Waiting by Debra Ginsberg.
The following story is true, I will only change the names of my former co-workers and any restaurant patrons involved. Certain events were situations involving profanity, I will try to keep it PG-13...
When my first daughter was about one year old, I decided to return to the world of waitressing. I was only working a few dinner shifts enabling my husband to care for our daughter. I took a job at yet another Denny's because they tend to appreciate new hires who are already trained.
Since we were in a nice area, neither urban nor known for crime, I figured the atmosphere might be different than the previous ones. And it was.
"Get the f--- down! Nobody move!!!!!
It was a week night. Slower than usual, a few families were having dinner and a regular customer was seated at the counter. On the line, in view of the counter, was the salad prep area. I was chatting with the gentleman at the counter as I fixed his salad.
Typically, when customers enter, they wait to be seated. When a couple of men walked in, the manager tried to seat them. They walked briskly past her, toward the rear of the dining room. The restrooms are in the back, so having people hurry to that area is fairly common. Colleen, the middle-aged manager, put down the menus to go back to the booth where we often sat when it was slow.
Before she could leave the front, two large men with two very large guns yelled "On the floor, Bob! On The floor!" As they headed toward the bathrooms, guns pointed at the first set of men, they shouted again, Get the f--- down! Nobody move!!!!"
Families cowered in their booths. I dropped the salad and got behind a partition. Hope no one wanted a refill or dessert. I just wanted to live long enough to quit my job.
While this was all happening we wondered where another waitress, Mary, was. She was nowhere to be seen and a there were few customers in the men's room.
My customer at the counter stirred his coffee. I hoped he wasn't so hungry, his salad was going to have to wait!
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
A few squad cars sped into the lot, pulling up on the sidewalk. The men with the guns turned out to be undercover police officers who had been watching and following the two drug dealers. These were the men that Colleen had tried to seat. One of the suspects ran into the ladies' room, the other ran to the men's room.
Our missing waitress, Mary, was in the bathroom as the suspect ran in to flush what he had. And I don't mean the runs. I can only imagine what was going through her head.
The action in the men's room was even worse. A customer was at the urinal when the other suspect ran in followed by the cops. The poor guy at the urinal felt a gun to his head, apparently mistaken for the suspect. His Grand Slam was on the house. He even tipped me.
Meanwhile, more police were in the lobby and dining room and a helicopter hovered over the restaurant. This was quite a sight, as the restaurant was next to a rather upscale mall in the last place you might expect the scene to play out. Especially not at dnner time.
My regular customer at the counter was pondering as to the types of guns involved. Bless him for not complaining that he didn't get his salad as fast as he should have. It is nice to have a customer not complain when you cower in the corner during a drug bust.
Poor Mary was lucky to have been where she was. No doubt she was scared...s---less. Okay, that was bad.
The police finally let the poor urinal patron leave the bathroom, Mary left the ladies room shaking. The families eating their dinners slowly calmed down and began asking for take-out containers and their checks.
What, no dessert?
The suspects were led out in handcuffs, no one thought to explain what had just happened to the stunned restaurant employees and patrons. In fact, it wasn't until later when a couple of officers came in for coffee, that the plot thickened.
The busboy patiently waited until the police left the bathrooms to go mop up who only knows what.
Look, there's a helicopter hovering, shining a light on the restaurant...
...Let's step over those handcuffed guys on the ground and go on in!
Yes, even with all the commotion, people continued to come in. Many asked what was going on and I told each of them the same thing.
With a straight face, I said "Oh, those guys tried to walk out without paying the check."
You would not believe how many people responded the same way, "Really?"
Then again, choosing a Denny's that looks like a scene from COPS when there is a Wendy's and a Bennigan's without drug busts in progress is not a sign of spectacular intellect.
"Good evening officers. Care for some coffee? Or this gun?"
As things calmed down, some officers came in for something to eat. They explained that there was supposed to be something major happening in the parking lot of a nearby mall. Undercover officers had been following the two men, and were as surprised as we were when the suspects went to Denny's.
Somehow, I don't recall how, it was mentioned that there was a gun that the suspects dumped. We were chatting with some of the younger regulars, mainly teens and college students, and they also were trying to figure out how the police were unable to find a gun that couldn't have gone too far.
One regular, Sam, who is like an extremely thin version of "Ross the Intern" from The Tonight Show took interest in our conversation.
Sam jokingly said he would check the men's room. A few minutes later, he came running out, screeching "Omigod, omigod! Gun...g-g-gun. G-u-n!" Sam was freaking out.
Inside the toilet seat liner dispenser, on the wall behind the toilet, was the missing gun. The police were visibly annoyed when their meals were interrupted to retrieve the gun.
Seriously.
Maybe it's time for a transfer.....
Since we had recently moved, I decided that perhaps I should transfer to another restaurant. I figured the drug bust was an omen. Or something.
After some paperwork and aggravation, I was told to head over to the new location to file some more paperwork. The wait staff knew what restaurant I was coming from, they heard a bit about the drug bust. I gave them my account of the events, but the reaction I got was strange.
I was asked if I transferred because of the bust, I said only partially and that I was glad to be somewhere calmer. Colleen's husband made her quit, I just wanted a change of scenery.
"Didn't you watch the news last night? A woman was having an affair often came here with her boyfriend. Then her husband found out and confronted them. Drug busts are nothing compared to murder-suicides!"
...Coming soon...The busboy and the foot fetish...
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