Page Nine and 3/4 - Vol. 1 - Music News, Notes, Noodlings, and Nonsense
Jul 10 '02 (Updated Jul 26 '02)
The Bottom Line All the news that's fit to print in an obscure corner of the Internet.
Hey look, it’s another paltry, third-rate knock-off of a classic original! Now all we have to do now is call Matt “Mr. Deeds.”
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- I didn’t really think it was possible for pop radio to get any worse. It has. If Elvis can chart a number one single anywhere for four weeks, you’d think that someone somewhere would notice that something is wrong. Thank God that Chicago has the best talk radio station (WGN) in America. One could say that their poorest product comes when the Cubs play. And it’s not because of the announcers.
- The scourge better known as Eminem was finally rousted from the top of the charts in both the States and UK after a five-week reign at the top. His new album was knocked down to #2 by Nelly in the U.S., and down to #3 in the U.K. by the ego-fried tandem of Oasis and Nelly. (I’m fighting the obvious urge to editorialize on Nelly, as well as the people who made his album #1 in America) Hopefully this is the LAST time we ever see the King of Verbal Sling at #1; it’s about time my generation started to wise up and realize that the only sick, warped music star that deserves our money these days is Ozzy!!! (Live @ Budokan is now in stores by the way.)
- The first Guy Whom I’ve Found The True Means To Hate Award goes to Clear Channel Broadcasting Production Director Steve Smith, who in this week’s (July 12, p. 6) issue of Entertainment Weekly, says the following: ”…look for your closest college radio station. Give them a good listen. I guarantee you that after 30 minutes of pure hell, you will switch back to a Clear Channel Station station because we play the hits.” To Mr. Smith, I have three things: 1) God knows that it was necessary to slander college radio, for there are surely hundreds of college radio outlets in this country that wield the power and spread that your conglomerate possesses, waiting to take down the mighty Goliath at any second; 2) You might want to take a full half hour from your own hectic schedule to listen to a college radio station before you imply that you have at some time in the past; and 3) Next time you dangle such a generous proposition to millions of readers, give it a hook, so both your constituents and detractors can know that the possibility does exist that you think you could be wrong… And yes, I do work in college radio, thanks for noticing.
- Pete Yorn’s debut album musicforthemorningafter was re-released with a second disc of live/unreleased tracks, for those of us suckers who couldn’t resist buying it the first time when Best Buy was selling it for seven bucks. The bonus disc includes a couple of Springsteen covers and a rock remix of “Strange Condition,” which not-so-cleverly cops the drum line from The Clash’s “Train In Vain,” not the first time that’s happened in the last decade. This means YOU, Butch Vig.
- Am I the only one that has gotten The Hives and The Vines confused just by virtue of their name?
- Speaking of them, God Bless The Hives. I find it ironic that the band that is currently breathing the most life into a gagging genre seems like they were lifted straight out of a comic book (in that case, Andrew W.K. probably came with them) or a Carl Hiaasen novel. Now if we could only get every rock band in the world to watch Jerry Lewis and give themselves names like “Howlin’ Pelle Almqvist” and “Chris Dangerous.”
- Let me be the first hormonal young adult male to welcome Avril Lavigne to the pop music scene. Your music may be nothing spectacular, but you’ve got a “tres cool” name, and good lord, the most ravishing pair of… eyes I’ve seen on a young lady in a long time. May your music video become oversaturated.
- The latest case in point of crass and downright ludicrous cross-promotion by the record industry, Will Smith’s atrociously titled new single, “Nod Ya Head,” became the theme for the new Men In Black movie, and features direct lyrical references to the movie and a tied-in video. Shake ya head slowly, and save ya money.
- If you absolutely MUST buy the Spiderman soundtrack, do yourself a favor and start out on track 13, a new Pete Yorn song, called “Undercover.” Logic would indicate, though, if you were to buy an album for just one song, you may as well download it. You didn’t hear it from me, though.
- After an interesting concept album, Our Lady Peace has successfully achieved its transformation into “Creed North,” as evidenced by the canned theatrics on their recently-released album, and the uncannily Creed-ish first single “Somewhere Out There,” which of course rocketed to the top of the modern rock charts and is destined for smashing crossover success on stations where it doesn’t belong. Just ask the other Canadian rock bland, er, band, on the pop charts.
- One of the more intriguing collaborations of the summer so far has come from two rather unlikely sources, the rap troupe Nappy Roots and Marcos, guitarist from Payable On Death, who came together for a thick, chunky remix of Nappy’s hit first single, “Awnaw.” Marcos’ rumbling riffage and Nappy’s fluid (if innocuous) rhymes seem made for each other, and though the final product has an visibly produced sound to it, it still makes for one doozy of a cool summer rock anthem.
- Papa Roach frontman Coby Dick changed his name back to his given name, Jacoby Shaddix. Either way, your car to Washed Up Trend Band Land is still waiting. At least Ugly Kid Joe didn’t change their name to “Unsightly Juvenile Joseph” when they knew their time was up.
- Rumor has it on the gossip wires that MTV VJ/newsman (newsman?!) Gideon Yago is courting new MTV shining star/whining baby (now I know that’s right) Kelly Osbourne. This may or may not be old news, but rumor also has it that I don’t care, and rumor has it on top of that that I feel sorry for anyone who does.
- Do you know that MTV VJ Iann Robinson is 31 years old? I’ll now take five bucks from everyone who thought that he doesn’t look a day over 23.
- Oasis’ new album, Heathen Chemistry, was released last week in both the United States and Great Britain. The only difference, other than the grand indifference in America, was that the British got to buy it and gripe about it one whole day before we did.
- To properly accompany the release of the new album, both Noel and Liam Gallagher went on a rampage of spiteful comments, berating everyone from Kylie Minogue to Robbie Williams to even the British Army, who commandeered two Oasis songs for their recruitment video without the band’s consent. In thinly related news, Liam mentioned that he wouldn’t mind it if his kids took drugs. ”If my son was to sit around doing nothing and popping pills all day then I'd give him a smack. But if he was taking drugs and really achieving something with his life then that would be OK… Some of the best times of my life were spent on acid.” Looks like Liam’s been off the acid for, oh, seven years now.
- The Corrs/Bono duet of Ryan Adams' “When The Stars Go Blue” has been making the rounds on adult contemporary radio. Great, we can’t even wait for artists to release their own songs themselves before we start to cover them. Super.
- Has anyone heard that brutal remix of “Keep Fishin’,” the new Weezer single? It was fine the way it sounded on the album, and it’s barely three minutes long anyway, so who felt the necessity to mess with it? Lemme guess, mmm, someone in the record industry?
- Apparently the British know how to run a music festival. Some of the biggest bands in Britain, and not one single gate-crasher at Glastonbury. Combine that with the fact that Donovan showed up to play with Starsailor, and I think you’ve got yourself a cracking good series of shows. Knowing how derivative Americans are of the British, look for Norman Greenbaum to make a guest spot with The Flaming Lips at the next Woodstock. Or maybe Gregg Allman with Llama at the next Bonnaroo.
- Congratulations to David Gray, who, after almost a decade of being unjustly bounced around by the record industry, has had his album White Ladder on the charts in Britain for over TWO YEARS. I daresay he is a tosser no more.
- And finally, to those who know about him, T-Bone Burnett is now officially cool. Selling over six million records without a single pop radio spin usually garners some attention from the media and the public. Heh, I guess people just don’t like old time blues and bluegrass music that much.
Thanks for coming. Please tip the Rally Monkey on the way out.
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Afterglow34
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Member: Luke Rush
Location: Waukegan, IL
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About Me:
Wannabe Ubiquitous Rock Handclap and Background Vocal Guy.
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