No Magic, No Wonder, No Edge...
Written: Nov 05 '06
|
Product Rating:
|
|
| Bang For The Buck |
 |
|
|
Pros: G rating
Cons: Amateur script, non-believable plot elements, cheesy production, much more...
The Bottom Line: Santa Clause 3 is one of the worst holiday movies to ever disgrace the silver screen. Save your money and wait til real Christmas movies come out after Thanksgiving.
|
|
|
| mrkstvns's Full Review: The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause |
Parents can always count on Hollywood to deliver a few good, solid family-friendly cinematic gems in the weeks before Christmas. The holiday offerings seldom start this ridiculously early, but Disney is evidently hoping the jump start will help them slide in under the eyes of wily critics. They should hope for something like that, because the critics will have no problems finding abundant fodder to criticize in Santa Clause 3.
The movie is, quite simply, the worst Christmas movie to come along since Santa Clause Conquered the Martians, and at least that one had the excuse of being obvious camp.
I normally love Tim Allen's wry wit, but even he isn't enough to resuscitate this drowned rat. Nor is Martin Short. The movie isn't badly cast, unfortunately though, good people aren't enough to overcome horrendously bad material, unartistic "artistic" talent behind the scenes, and sloppy directing and production.
The result is a meandering, nonsensical plot that wallows in stupidity. Instead of being entertained for 1 hour and 38 minutes, I left the theatre with a pounding a headache and disgust at having wasted my money on such total rubbish.
The "Plot"...
Several years after the fairly pitiful Santa Clause 2, Santa and wife are pregnant and the due date is, predictably enough, Christmas Eve. Mrs. Clause misses her mom and dad, and basically any "tall people" for that matter. Santa's so pre-occupied that he barely has time to check his list once, never mind twice.
As if personal baggage weren't bad enough, insignificant "famous personality" Jack Frost is upset that he's not really very famous. Certainly not compared to the big Christmas dude in red. Jack wants in on Santa's gig. He's about to get drummed out of the role call of the famous folks society, but they have mercy on him, and let him stay at the North Pole to "help" Santa.
Needless to say, "help" isn't what's on Jack Frost's mind. He's out to take over Christmas. When he discovers the importance of "the Santa Clause Escape Clause" and snow globes, the stage is set for uncredible mayhem.
With me so far? It actually sounds like it hangs together....but it doesn't.
The plot is horribly disjointed with unlikely and non-believable element layered on unlikely and ultimately idiotic twist.
The first Santa Clause worked because it had a wonderfully ingenuous naivete and an innocence and sense of wonder as Scott Calvin discovers the magic and wonder of the North Pole and Santa. This is completely absent in Santa Clause 3. Taking the place of wonder and the joy of Christmas legends is malice, envy, jealousy, and incompetence.
In the first couple Santa movies, Bernard is an anchor of responsibility and competence as the head elf. In this movie, he's gone, replaced by a bumbling buffoon with a "no can do" attitude.
In the first couple movies, there's a click between Santa and his son Charlie. In this movie, that's gone and Santa connects with nobody. He's alienated Charlie, who he never sees, and he's alienated his wife from her parents, who she never sees. Yet somehow, Santa's become best buddies with his ex-wife and Dr. Neil. Now am I the only person in the universe who finds this not only unbelievable, but totally STUPID?? It makes no sense. None. Charlie doesn't care about his dad anymore, and his dad ignores him, yet he's best buds with Charlie's step-dad and his young daughter....STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!
That's just one little example. There's THOUSANDS of examples polluting this film.
Take the in-laws. Scott agrees to bring to them the North Pole to visit their daughter....but they can't know it's the North Pole. They have to think it's Canada. Okay, I suppose, but that element is executed with a talentless lack of humor or zeal. A few "welcome to Canada" signs are tacked up and the elves wear hats and say "Eh?" That's as deep as the Canada thing ever gets.
Jack Frost creates mayhem. He manages to take over the North Pole. He turns it into a theme park that resembles Disney World --- long lines, expensive prices, bad attitudes, tacky and crass commercialization --- the whole 9 yards. Jack Frost as Santa becomes a lounge singer. The concept is as badly executed as it sounds.
Yet there's hope, because we all know that when divorce and remarriages are part of your family life, you develop very close, trusting, loving bonds between yourself and the daughter of the man who marries your ex-wife. Right? Right....so guess who saves the day at Scott Calvin's bidding? Right.....
Meanwhile, Charlie is a teen with a bad attitude. That's about the only believable plot element in the whole movie. Unfortunately, the movie misses a huge potential to have Charlie and Scott re-click. Charlie does do something at the end, but what it is, or how he does it, or why, or how he feels towards his dad, is never very clear. The plot just glosses over big gaping gaps and things just occur with no buildup or foundation. Clearly, it's amateur hour in the writing department at Disney.
Santa Clause 3 is NOT Funny...
I laughed out loud at least a hundred times in the first Santa Clause movie. It had sly jokes, subtle allusions, and downright funny plot elements laced throughout the flick.
Don't expect that in Santa Clause 3. The funniest point in the whole movie is when the reindeer fart. The amateur film makers at Disney evidently had enough smarts to realize that was as good as they were going to get, so for good measure, they let the reindeer do a few extra toots, just in case you forgot to laugh at the first fart.
Even Tim Allen's quips fall flat because there's just no foundation for him to work with.
Bottom Line...
Looking for a good Christmas holiday movie for the kids? Wait til after Thanksgiving and look for something other than Disney's utterly idiotic Santa Clause 3. It's a flick that truly puts the "stink" into STINKER!
Recommended:
No
Movie Mood: Good for Kids
Worst Part of this Film: Everything
|
|
|
|
|
- Add to My Yahoo!: 
- Add to Google Homepage: 
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.