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10 Easy Tips for Telling your kids about your divorce!

Jul 29 '02

The Bottom Line Follow my 10 tips and you should be fine!

As all of you know, going through a divorce is hard for the adults. But, it is just as hard for the kids. You do not want your kids to get upset and mad at you for getting a divorce with your husband or wife. So, there are special things that you want to say and do. Here are some of them-

1. When you tell your kids, tell them together. (both mom and dad tell them)
2. Tell them that it is NOT their fault. *Kids often feel that a divorce is their fault, which can cause long term problems.*
3. Tell them that you BOTH love them. *This is important because this is a sad time for them and they need to know that they are loved, and just because dad and mom don't love each other in the same way, does not mean they are not loved.*
4. Make sure that they know that you care about how they feel. *Ask them questions about how they are feeling and tell them they can come talk to either one of you at any time.*
5. Tell the kids that mommy and daddy do not love each other the same way they did before, instead of that you and your husband/wife do not love each other anymore.
6. Tell them that no one will replace their other parent.
7. Let them know who they will be living with, and who the house is going to. *Keep the kids informed (to a certain extent) about details that include them and their life throughout the divorce process. The extent that you keep them informed to depends on their age.*
8. Let them ask any questions that they want. *Encourage them to ask as many questions as they can think of. You and your spouse answer them together*
9. Show affection to your kids, hug them! *Keep telling them how proud you are of them for being strong through the divorce process*
10. Tell them that 'mommy and daddy' do not hate each other. *Do not using hateful words, or body language (physical fighting) around the kids*

Those are just some tips on telling your kids that you and your spouse are getting a divorce, which is very common these days. There is one more thing to remember- do not spoil them to make them not mad at you. Do not buy them a lot of clothes or toys to make it up to them. At a certain point, you have to put your foot down and say NO. If you do not, most likely they will take advantage of you, and you do not want that to happen!

I wish you the best of luck in telling your kids about a divorce! You can always email me with questions! God Bless!

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Ladybug33

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Ladybug33
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