JK Hood
Aug 01 '02 (Updated Aug 12 '02)
The Bottom Line Go ahead Epinions. Try and sell THIS on Half.com.
Once upon a time, there was a small village. The village was known as Epinionsham and was on the edge of a forest named Dotcomwood Forest. The village was home to many different kinds of people. These people liked to get together and have archery tournaments and people would come and watch. And the people who were the best archers would get rewarded with money. In addition the archers who placed first would get special hats to wear.
So that’s how it was in the village of Epinionsham for quite a while. Until one day when changes started to occur. The economy in that great land started to go in the toilet (or Outhouse) and so the village elders couldn’t pay the archers as much. Some of the archers got mad at this and left. Then the village elders had to do quite a bit of construction work to the village and so the residents had to leave and stay elsewhere for a while. When they came back, the construction was finished. But the village had not really been improved at all. In addition the amount of money the archers were getting paid had been reduced to a penny per arrow fired.
The exodus continued. Yet many people opted to stay. One of those who stuck around was Jonathan K Hood or “Robin” as many people called him. Mr. Hood was one of the funniest archers around Epinionsham. And the way he practiced his archery was both funny and awe-inspiring.
Mr. Hood also knew just what to say when the village elders made a boneheaded decision. One summer day, when they decided to change the way the special hats were given to the archers, many qualified people lost their hats. Of course many of these people were upset about this. But Mr. Hood announced that all the people without hats were Peons and in his eyes it was far better to be a Peon than one with a hat.
Time went on. The archery tournaments continued and people continued to enjoy them. Until one day when the sheriff of Epinionsham showed up and announced: “You will no longer be receiving payment for your archery skills”. Many people were upset. But not surprised, they knew the economy was bad. “In addition” the sheriff went on “I’m taking all of your bows and arrows and targets and locking them all up. You may not leave with them. You can stay and keep them and continue to practice your archery or you can go and leave them here.”
“You can’t do that!” shouted one of the villagers. “We’re the ones who attract people here with our tournaments and archery. You have no right to take this away from us!”
The villagers became very angry and organized a rebellion. They marched around the town and fired arrows into various places where they were not meant to be fired. After about 5 days of this, the sheriff gave in and let the archers have their property back.
After this, a new albeit rather uneasy peace returned to the village of Epinionsham. The sheriff announced that he wanted to rebuild trust with the archers, yet many of them were still somewhat suspicious.
Until one day when Maid Jennifer was making her way through Dotcomwood Forest and happened across the village of Halfshire. She happened to gaze over at the archery tournament they were having there and was shocked. The archers were using certain moves that had been developed by the archers of Epinionsham.
Shocked and appalled, Maid Jennifer ran back to Epinionsham and told JK Hood what was going on. He went over to Halfshire to look and discovered that some of the archery moves were ones that had been discontinued long ago. After some investigating, it was revealed that the archery moves were being sold to Halfshire by the sheriff of Epinionsham.
JK Hood went back to Epinionsham and told the archers what was going on. He did it in a way that was just as funny as it was infuriating. The archers were not happy with what they heard, although there was a lot of humor in JK Hood’s presentation. Some of the archers began to gather up their bows and arrows and began to depart Epinionsham, vowing never to return. Some others decided to stay and began to train and form an army. After training for a while, JK Hood led the army of archers to where the sheriff lived. Each archer took out an arrow, lit the end and threaded it so it was set to be fired when ready. The army stood and waited for JK Hood to give the signal to attack.
The archers stood ready to attack and at JK Hood’s signal they commenced. Arrows went flying all in the direction of the Sheriff’s residence. The storehouse was set afire and the gunpowder caused an explosion.
All of the commotion awoke the Sheriff of Epinionsham and he ran to his window to see what was going on. From the looks of things it appeared that the whole town was under siege so he ran outside in his elephant pajamas to where the archers were now turning their arrows on his gate in a desperate attempt to blast it off the hinges.
“Whoa! What is going on here? “
“He speaks at last!” one of the archers exclaimed.
“Why is everyone running around here shooting things up” the Sheriff demanded.
“Because you thieving lunkhead! We found out that you’ve been selling our archery moves to the people of Halfshire!”
The Sheriff looked surprised. “But I thought all of you knew about that. I posted a notice on the town bulletin board.”
“We never saw any notice!”
“Well then the wind must have blown it away. Anyway I’m sorry to tell you this. My deal with Halfshire was a business deal gone badly. I hoped to maybe attract more people to Epinionsham to watch the archery tournaments. I made this decision about two years ago when the town was desperate for cash.”
“Then why did you not have signs put up there telling people where they could go to watch the original archery moves performed and maybe buy some souvenirs from business partners?”
“Because the Halfshire city council would not allow it. They had the advantage in this deal.”
“But some of the moves they’re using are out of date!” another archer protested.
“I know. That’s an old feed they’re using. It’s not up to me when it’s updated, it’s up to the people of Halfshire.”
The people were silent. “I must say I’m surprised” the Sheriff went on “that I got such a negative reaction from you people over this.” With that he turned and walked back into his house and collapsed into bed.
The archers the turned and followed their fearless leader out into the Dotcomwood Forest (which was not haunted contrary to popular belief) and set about planning their next move.
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Epinions.com ID:
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Member: Jeff Wilder
Location: Sunrise Florida USA
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About Me:
The Sage Of Sunrise Florida.
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