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Making It Work For the Whole FamilySep 04 '02 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line No job is too hard if everyone pitches in.
Being a single mother raising three children (two teenagers and one nine-year-old) plus working full-time outside the home, I have come to realize over the past few months that I simply can't do it all. We went from a fairly organized household where there was plenty of time to choreograph the kids's participation in chores to one where it is an absolute necessity that everyone help out. After a very stressful day at work, there are few things that are even more stressful than coming home to a house that looks like a miniature tornado hit it. No longer could we do our happy-go-lucky chore games; we had to get serious. I am blessed with happy children, but they are also happy, messy children. Especially my youngest, who can destroy a room in ten seconds flat without even trying. We all sat down for a family meeting, and I explained that I simply was not able to work all day and then come home and restore a house to order that had been demolished all day. I explained that I needed help and ideas from them. I also pointed out that they were home all day (summer time) and that if they worked together they could get everything in order in about a half an hour a day. (I also tried to emphasize that the house wouldn't get messy in the first place if everyone picked up after themselves; we are still working on that concept! LOL.) The kids came up with their own methods for making sure things get done, something I think teaches them responsibility and makes my life just a little easier. My sixteen-year-old daughter is my life-saver in the house. She takes the responsibility to get the others moving, and has essentially taken over cleaning the kitchen without me asking her to. It is wonderful; I come home to a nice clean kitchen and cooking dinner is a much more pleasant experience. To help her out, though, we did set a rule. She unloads the dishwasher in the morning, and then all the children are responsible for rinsing their own dishes throughout the day and putting them into the dishwasher. Makes kitchen cleanup a breeze, and no one has to deal with a full sink of depressing dishes. Kaitlin, the house-destroyer at age nine, decided that she would make a concentrated effort at cleaning up after herself. She is a busy kid, and very multi-tasked so this has been a challenge for her. I will say I am very proud of her as she has made a great deal of progress in picking up one project before starting another. She also jumps in and helps her sisters clean without it becoming a total conflict more often than she used to. My fourteen-year-old daughter helps out a lot more willingly than she used to, and I have found that the jobs she does are done much more efficiently than before. She will choose the more difficult and time consuming projects, but her effort is much appreciated. All of the kids do their own laundry now, and they take turns helping me with the community laundry such as towels. Even my nine-year-old is independent in this task! She came to me one day and asked me to show her how to run the washer. I did, and when it came time for the next load she was still uncertain. She asked me to write down the steps for her, and that's all it took. Now she loves doing her laundry! (And I also find she changes her clothes fewer times per day now that she is mainly doing her own laundry.) Our philosophy has become that if we all work together, the work is easier and no one gets overwhelmed. I do the main bulk of the work but the kids help me out in many, many ways and that makes my life a lot less stressful. Home should be a relaxing place! And I find that we are all much happier when the house is organized. One alone can't do it; but many hands make light work. Cliche perhaps, but very true.  |
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