Now that title could be an example of a perfectly innocent and friendly white woman striking up a conversation with a curious black man on the train who has noticed the title of the book she’s reading. Perhaps. It might have also come from the strange and wonderful world of this reviewer’s brain. Believe it or not, one of these scenarios is a little more likely, but for the purpose of not confusing my readers with this conundrum, we’ll just assume both are valid on different levels of reality. Is this conduciveness to other worlds really necessary for an appreciation of Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D. and Robert K. Cooper, Ph.D.’s How To Be Safe In An Unsafe World?
Maybe. This might not be science fiction, but tolerance of, if not connectivity to, other planes of existence is recommended by the authors. I must say it has an infinitely less silly title than another such book that has nothing whatsoever to do with little green men and Space Sprockets, namely Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus which inspired the (from my perspective) most compelling part of Unsafe World.
Yes, yes, this would be the very wondrous discussion of how male and female biochemistry in the human species plays out like a broken record for millinnia on its unwitting victims until, refusing to be victimized by unseen forces deeper and darker than the human eye can see (without a microscope), they welcome what they do not understand. This is actually progress. According to the authors, we first need inner safety before we can feel safe in our environment and world. It is when we approach life from a “calm-yet-alert place” that we can defend ourselves more effectively from verbal or physical attack.
Seriously, The Contents, Please!
Oh, now, lighten up, would ya? How can I get you to read this overly-serious self-help book if I don’t poke fun at it? Besides, it opens with introductions from Deepak Chopra and John Gray. It is just asking to be made fun of, if you ask me. But you aren’t asking for my opinion yet, are you? Okay then, the contents are as follows:
1 Safety is the #1 Human Need (next to air and water, of course)
2 The Moment of Choice (at the beginning of all conflicts)
Part 1: Safety Intelligence: Core Principles
(This is where we learn to pause before reacting, how to walk, how to swing our arms, how to wear purses, how to use our voices, the element of surprise and that pepper spray is much better than Mace. Scenarios are given; questions asked.)
Part 2: Safety Intelligence: Insights, Applications and Resources
(Emotional Safety in relationships, home safety, teaching kids inner safety, books on safety for teens and collegiates, work safety, healing emotional wounds, building together a safer world.)
All the recommended resources are listed generously at the end of each chapter, mostly books from the mid 80s to the mid 90s as this 252 page book was published in 1997 (Epinions lists an edition from 1998). In addition, there are over a dozen pages of notes from each page of the book. If that doesn’t impress you, maybe the quotes from famous people or characters like Hamlet will (the readiness is all).
The Authors
One is a psychiatrist and the other an independent scholar who must like Abraham Maslow, who is both a Ph.D and the founder of humanistic psychology. Maslow is quoted, saying on the inner flap, “The need to be safe is even deeper than the need to love and be loved.” Deep, huh? I wonder what he would think of making love and safety the same need, a hand-in-glove kind of thing. The authors don’t wonder, however, and make the case that inner safety comes from knowledge and preparedness. Not from love. Love isn’t enough in an unsafe world.
I can just hear the groans from the Christian Section!
Concluding Thoughts
Now my opinion! To be honest, I thought it gave a lot of great advice. It seemed pretty common sensical, but in moments of danger you know where common sense goes! There were some things I didn’t know, such as always answer a knock on the door at night when you’re alone by talking through the door to see what a stranger wants rather than pretending no one’s home. Otherwise they may try breaking in.
I thought the information of what makes a person susceptible to violence was very interesting and also how to discourage it. I feel much more knowledgeable and safer now and so would you if you haven’t read a book like this. If you don’t and just do what comes naturally, you may incite the attacker and be harmed. Remember to pause before acting and give them respect or it could be curtains for you!
My favorite part, though, was, of course, found in the chapter about making one’s relationship more safe. Take for example the quote of Dr. Tannen from her book You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation (fooled ya, you thought I'd quote John Gray): When a woman asks (a man), “What do you want to do tonight?” she’s initiating a free-flow give-and-take, but the man thinks she wants him to decide. Or sometimes, even more irritatingly, he simply responds, “I don’t care, what do you want to do?” The authors of Unsafe World go on to explain that personal conversational style is mapped out in the brain as an instinct and all we can do is learn to be flexible.
So you see? We do need tolerance of other life forms (that’s men to me) as I tried to point out in the beginning, perhaps badly. I guess if I want to live on this planet (Earth), I’d better start trying to think like a Martian. Guys, I will try. I really will!
Recommended:
