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Re: "Put Another Pimp On The Barbie..." (Reply to this comment)
by artbyjude
I have been so amazed by this inventive use for Barbie that I have been many a nightmare in the imaginings. Maybe is does have to do with the name "Jim", especially one who was grounded for life.
Before my brother's friends became more important than the fascinating plays we used to devise from our front porch, Jim and I had other uses for Barbie as well. On a good day, "the porch" was a sailing ship, and we sailed off to new adventures, trading off the captain's role. On rainy days, the ship was a barge heading up the Amazon river, and Barbie was suspended from a string to test the waters for crocodiles.
He liked to toss her in a mud puddle naked and make me jump ship to rescue her. ...
It would have been interesting being your sister-but disturbing as well, if she did indeed like her Barbie Doll. Jude
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Nov 07 '02
6:26 am PST
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"Put Another Pimp On The Barbie..." (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
by 29th_Candidate | Oct 24 '02
Either all jims are coded from the same psychologically-disturbed protein strands or you've somehow stumbled over a cache of my childhood-made, frighteningly realistic, elaborately detailed "ken & barbie orgie/snuff film productions." The title of this comment represents one of the better selections. You'd be amazed at what a child can do with what he finds around the house when he's been "grounded for the rest of his life..."
When my cousin outgrew her dolls, my sisters became the beneficiaries of a collection of pint-sized, plastic porn-performers who would soon take the anal action-figure acting world by storm as... "The Not Ready For Flat-Line Layers."
How 'bout that... --And all this time I thought my mother destroyed them all... (Momz and I had markedly different aesthetic "home video" tastes. Go figure.)
This was a fabulous, creative-as-all-get-out and entertaining contribution, jude. Shame really... ...Ken, beautiful-chrissie (i.e., "...with beautiful hair, that grows,") action-jackson, liddle-kiddle, baby magic, skipper, babs and I could've used you on the production team...
--29th
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Oct 27 '02
9:11 am PST
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... (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
Wow. No titles either! Looks like I'm going to have to post this comment in tiny segments:
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Oct 24 '02
1:38 am PDT
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(Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
Thank God I copied this before I posted it. There's some sort of posting bug that wiped out 90% of my (this) comment to you. Here it is:
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Oct 24 '02
1:36 am PDT
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(Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
Either all jims are coded from the same psychologically-disturbed protein strands or you've somehow stumbled over a cache of my childhood-made, frighteningly realistic, elaborately detailed
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Oct 24 '02
1:33 am PDT
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Re: I Think (Reply to this comment)
by artbyjude
oops, I forgot...my family is a little strange, but maybe not THAT strange....but it gave me a chuckle to hear you say that. Jude
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Oct 22 '02
1:00 am PDT
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Re: Deleeshous (Reply to this comment)
by artbyjude
Glad you were sucked in for a few stanzas anyway. That was the fun part. I should have bought him a comic book instead, because if he hadn't decapitated it, I would have. Jude
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Oct 22 '02
12:58 am PDT
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Re: I Think (Reply to this comment)
by artbyjude
Ya think? Epic?
I think I would have had to include those intervening boring decades. And that was WAY too much work. Thanks for the comment, though. I feel better now. Jude
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Oct 22 '02
12:56 am PDT
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Re: Another Guilty Pleasure (Reply to this comment)
by artbyjude
But if I have popcorn in my soul what do I do when the kernals explode. Worse yet, what do I eat when I am watching videos? Yes it is a curse. I should be drinking. It would help. Jude
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Oct 22 '02
12:55 am PDT
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Re: Lol sordid (Reply to this comment)
by artbyjude
well thanks, I think. It sure was fun to write and gosh it took all of 45 minutes. Bad rhymes and horrible puns are part of my neurological makeup. I should be taking medication. Jude
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Oct 22 '02
12:53 am PDT
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Re: HOOZAH! (Reply to this comment)
by artbyjude
Damn I left out the RATS. I knew I forgot something. Jude
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Oct 22 '02
12:51 am PDT
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Re: Good stuff (Reply to this comment)
by artbyjude
I have too read your terrible poem and I liked it a lot. I just never could figure a way past the damned censors. Hehehehehe Jude
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Oct 22 '02
12:51 am PDT
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Re: I Loved Them (Reply to this comment)
by artbyjude
Thought he wasn't coming. Hmm. Maybe its a good thing I am NOT going to be there. Jude
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Oct 22 '02
12:49 am PDT
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Deleeshous (Reply to this comment)
by annexation
Jude-
Twisty and twisted. I was horrified. Then giggly.
Way to flex those poetry muscles! I'm off to scope out your second entry.
-Mark
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Oct 21 '02
8:02 am PDT
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I Think (Reply to this comment)
by nifer
that in some circles of higher learnin' they'd consider this a three-part epic. Well done! The first one really had me going until the end, although I must admit I became a bit puzzled when the word "brother" made it in toward the bottom. I wondered for a split second if maybe your family was, er, a bit "closer" than most.
A most excellent and talented entry.
xoxo ~ jennifer
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Oct 18 '02
9:24 pm PDT
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Another Guilty Pleasure (Reply to this comment)
by son_gokou
I liked it, it was bad in a clever way.
Anyway, having poetry in your soul feels a lot like a really bad case of the runs. You got to dash to a notepad and get it out quick. If you have a busy schedule, it's better to store microwave popcorn in your soul instead.
Jibba say WHA'?,
Dark Fox
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Oct 18 '02
4:45 pm PDT
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Lol sordid (Reply to this comment)
by fumbduck
got it all sussed there.
Lol I laughed my buttocks off then on again. Clever, clever construction, pretty much every line continued the story, and 'twas hilarious as I said.
Kevin :-)
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Oct 18 '02
12:53 pm PDT
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HOOZAH! (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1
That was wonderful bad poetry, artbyOHenryjude! I particularly liked the inclusion of decapitation, the mention of "boobs" and "penis", and the mutli-perspective presentation! If only their were more car chases and people eaten by rats, you could hit the pinnacle of bad poetry!
I remain a,
Sordid-1
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Oct 18 '02
9:39 am PDT
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.. (Reply to this comment)
by flamepillar
LOL, you had me spinning out there for a minute! Had to go back and read it a second time to catch all the little details again. Who says you aren't a great poet?
Well done yet again :)
TB
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Oct 18 '02
9:36 am PDT
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So clever! (Reply to this comment)
by annecal
I really enjoyed this!
Annie
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Oct 18 '02
8:48 am PDT
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Good stuff (Reply to this comment)
by Officer
Ha! You call the rest of us poets?! You haven't read my terrible poem yet!
Nice story! I shudder to think of my own sister and what she must be harboring deep inside her. I think I'll call her up...
~Ryan
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Oct 18 '02
4:32 am PDT
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I Loved Them (Reply to this comment)
by Granniemose
and I bet Jim will too when I show them to him next week. I do remember that day of violence.
Poor Barbie -
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Oct 18 '02
1:44 am PDT
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