NOTE: This review contains some minor sexual content. I apologize in advance if I have offended anyone.
Let's picture this:
John and Mary Smith had a long day. John had to work overtime that night and in addition had a brawl with his boss that day. Mary got into a very heated argument with her best friend at work earlier that day and hasn't spoken with her since. It's now evening time. Everyone's had dinner, kids are in bed and they are quietly relaxing on the couch with their favorite magazines. The two of them had briefly discussed the day's issues and knew that each of them was quite frustrated. Mary is completely engrossed in an article but is flooded with thoughts.."Why hasn't she called me yet to apologize?"-"Maybe I should call her."-"I wonder what everyone at work thought about our argument..do they think I'm a real b*tch now?". John can't quite seem to get into his reading. His mind is swirling with thoughts as well..."My boss really ticked me off today"-"Man, look at how low cut her top is tonight"-"I'm just gonna tell him off tomorrow. I'll show him who's really boss!"-"Wow, I really need to get some tonight.".."Umm..honey?..." Without giving you every X-rated detail of what was said next, (sorry guys!), I will tell you that Mary's reaction was not in John's favor. As a matter of fact, he was turned down pretty harshly. He couldn't understand why he was rejected. He figured that his wife would be glad to help him release his frustrations and in turn do the same for her. On the other hand, Mary was enraged with the fact that John would even make a request like that at such an emotional time for her. She was thinking more along the lines of talking and cuddling! What started out as a horrible day, ended the same way for both of them and off to bed they went. Angry and disappointed.
Ok, so that piece of fiction may not have happened to you word for word but more than likely you've encountered similiar situations. It's no secret that men and women deal with issues in a different manner. When women are troubled they tend to look for support, whether it be from a spouse, relative or friend. Venting (talking it out) is usually a great form of relief for them. Follow that up with some hugs and you'll be mending the wound in no time. (in many instances anyway). Now when guys feel troubled, they are more likely to withdraw - 'caveman syndrome'. You really think they're all alone in that little 'cave', huh? Well think again...they've got a whole army of little testosterone monsters cheering them on and slipping them just the slightest bit of connotation as to how to release the frustrations within. Can you say, sex? Alright,as you know, I'm not a male and no, I don't believe sex is the miracle cure-all (though it has been known to work wonders!) but I do feel that I have a better understanding of the the mysterious creatures on this earth called men and you might too after reading John Gray's Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, A Guide To Lasting Romance and Passion.
Mars and Venus
Oh please not that term again! I agree, that label is old and worn out and if you haven't heard it used yet when referring to men and women, then I would probably guess that you are truly from another planet! Dr. John Gray is the author of a series of Mars and Venus books. His first bestseller was simply titled Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and was a guide to effectively communicating with the opposite sex. Are we really lacking that much in the communication department that we need to read a book like this? In my humble opinion, yes. Look at the break-ups, divorce rates etc. Communication problems tend to be at the root of these situations. If we could only better equip our minds upstairs, we could more effectively deal with the issues downstairs.
Mars and Venus in the Bedroom
Dr. John Gray has succeeded once again in writing a humorous yet informative 206 page guide for effective communication. In this book, he gives the reader tips on how to communicate romantically and have your needs met whether you are male or female. He also gives ideas on how to keep your bedroom frolics fresh and spontaneous. An emphasis is also put on how to create a deeper intimacy that will continue to grow over a lifetime.
I will briefly touch on each chapter though the title's are pretty self explanatory.
1. Advanced Bedroom Skills for Great Sex
This chapter gives the reader an understanding of what men and women need for a pleasing sexual experience. You will see how each gender's chemistry affects the whole outlook on sex.
2. Sex and Passion
This chapter touches on the notion that without passion sex would be boring. A memorable passage from this chapter states 'A man's persistent sexual longing is really his soul seeking wholeness. The barren landscape of living only in his mind seeks union with the rich,sensuous, colorful, and sweet-smelling terrain of his heart.' A little far-fetched? Maybe..maybe not. I enjoyed it though.
3. How to Drive a Woman Wild with Pleasure
Ok, guys, here's your chapter! This chapter tends to go into a bit more detail on how a woman likes her experience to be. A lot of emphasis is put on relaxation and taking things slowly. Men take note!
4. Sexual Confidence
This chapter deals with easy ways to discuss sexual preferences with your partner as well as how to effectively give feedback during the experience. Want to shut a man off? Simply say things like.."Don't touch me like that!" or "What are you doing?". This chapter also lists 20 turn-on phrases. Fun stuff.
5. Women Are Like the Moon, Men Are Like the Sun
This chapter goes indepth into how women and mens' desires change from time to time and gives the opposite sex a better understanding of what their partner wants and when they want it. I didn't care for this chapter much as it never really seemed to pertain to me.
6. The Joy of Quickies
Let's see...do you have an imagination? Then use it here! You'll find plenty of good suggestions in this chapter. It's also a very humorous chapter as well.
7. Why Couples Are Having Less Sex
This chapter states that 'the primary reason for loss of interest is that men feel rejected and women don't feel romanced and understood in the relationship.' Take that as you may. In this chapter you will find ideas for seducing your partner as well as a list of sure turn-offs to avoid including the famous '20 questions' usually performed by the woman at a crucial point in the sexual experience... (ie. "what's wrong?", "do you think I'm getting fat?", "would you rather be with someone else?") A very well written chapter.
8. How to Rekindle the Passion
Lost that lovin' feeling? Then this is the chapter you should pay close attention to. It gives ideas on why the passion might be dying and some great ideas on how to ignite those fires again. There are tips on how to write a sexy letter as well as ideas like phone sex (no not on a 900 number either!) and what to do when you're not confident enough to carry out these ideas.
9. Polarity Sex
This chapter helps the reader to understand and work with different sexual polarities. If you'd like to know the difference between home-cooked sex and gourmet sex, then you might enjoy reading this chapter.
10. Mechanical Sex versus Spontaneous Sex
Discover the magic of foreplay and spontaneity in this chapter.
11. Passionate Monogamy
So you think monogamy isn't passionate? Oh boy, has this chapter got some news for you! You will read on subjects ranging from when a man is tempted to how to continue repeating that 'Fourth of July' experience in your bedroom.
12. Sexual Anatomy and Oral Sex
This title is fairly self explanatory. If not, then you probably should not be reading this review in the first place.
13. Keeping the Magic of Romance Alive
In this chapter you will learn how romance works and what effect it has on the relationship. It gives an overview of the tools for effective communication as well as some practical suggestions for keeping the passion alive on a day to day basis-yes even outside of the hot walls of your bedroom.
Is this book really worth reading?
Overall, I would have to say yes. It never hurts to improve on your relationship skills. Understanding the differences in the opposite sex helps improve our relationship greatly. I would not say that this book is my relationship 'bible' but I did enjoy reading it. I didn't completely agree with everything that Dr. John Gray had to say but there is a lot of humor throughout the book and if anything it will give you a good laugh or two. Whether your relationship has hit a cold spot or you're just looking to heat it to a higher degree, I highly recommend Mars and Venus in the Bedroom to any devoted couple.
Mars and Venus in the Bedroom
Copyright 1995, Harper Collins
ISBN 0-06-017212-6
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