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Love and Other Nightmares, Part 3 (Adult Content)Nov 23 '02 (Updated Oct 29 '03) Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line The romance isn't all that it's cracked up to be, apparently.......
I will warn you right now that the first part of this section has another very sexy situation! Also, as you'll see, the relationship takes a turn for the worse... I wanted to make the emotional transition seem logical, but I'm not sure if it was convincing enough. What do you think??? The sun bathed the two bodies in a warm morning liquid. April’s eyes opened first. It felt nice lying inside the bed -- the blankets had sufficiently wrapped her in a protective warmth. If only she could hibernate here in bed all winter, she thought, in this cocoon of pillows and flannel bed sheets. The air outside was becoming frigid much too prematurely. November began its rein by slaughtering the modest pleasures of the autumn and instituting a harsh and icy dictatorship. Those sounds, those lonely, saddening sounds, broke the lovely night that April had. Anna was making noise in her sleep again, a cry for help. Those nightmares consumed her as she slept, April understood. She wished she could go to Anna’s room, rest beside her on the bed, comfort her. Gently coax her to speak about those nightmares, let them break the ropes that confined them to her tense soul. But April was no longer welcome in Anna’s life. April was too much of a irritation. She heard Fred’s groans as he soon awoke. He had felt April’s hand mindlessly resting on his chest, drawing him away from whatever dreamscape he was living in, no doubt less disturbing than Anna’s. The landscape he was forced to open his eyes for wasn’t unsettling either...... “Hey, babe....” “Hi,”, smiling as she brought forth her greeting. “Nice sun......” “Yea, much better than the last time you were here. I doubt that it’s any more warmer out there.” April moved herself closer. “Did you hear.... anything strange last night?”, she asked. “ummmm..... no, I don’t think so....” “Anna’s...”, hesitating. “Anna’s been having nightmares again, I think... just like I told you before. I don’t think I told you that I’ve actually seen her in the middle of one of them. She was struggling in her sleep. She was sighing, moaning, like she was being hurt......” “Well.... whatever.....”, he groaned. Fred, on the other hand, was little concerned. “She’ll sort it out..... Remember what I told you, stop feeding your cooking to her!”, he jibed. “Fred, be serious! She’s not happy with herself, I can tell. She’s not happy with her life. She yelled at me last night.. it was really weird. She told me that I should not expect to be myself, in the real world. I should... compromise, lose my identity, or whatever.....” April’s eyes focused to the nothingness of the room around her, as her brain flickered with images of what Anna’s dreams could consist of. She selfishly hoped that she didn’t play a part in any of her nightmares. But if they did, it could at least explain a few things...... “She looks so ..... disturbed. So sad...... I wish I understood......” “Well, that’s too bad, if she wants to wallow in that stuff, that’s her issue... not mine... or yours......” April was rather surprised at Fred’s easy dismissal. She didn’t want to easily dismiss this subject. But, conversely, Fred had a purpose for this statement. He wasn’t a part of this story, and didn’t need to be involved. She began circling her hand upon his chest. His skin was cool, much like hers was. The air was still hung over from the nighttime chill. The two bodies on April’s mattress were still much under its influence, although they did not complain. She tried to keep her mind away from her domestic discord. She fell into a more sensual reverie; the easiest for her to do. It was a good relief. April directed her hand along Fred’s stomach, feeling his entire frame moving up and down from his breathing. Her touch continued further down his body. She put her hand underneath the blanket that lay over his waist, feeling his sex. She was amused, when she noticed that his penis was already erect. “Hmmmm...... you’ve only been awake for two minutes...”, she smiled easily. “.... and already you’re hard.” “yea.... um... well, that happens sometimes when we wake up.”, he grinned mischievously. “It doesn’t mean anything....” “Well....”, April replied, softly stroking his erection. She knew that his comment wasn’t anything more than a factual statement. “... maybe I can make it mean something.”, as she kissed his cheek. Gently, she focussed her palm along his sex, as she nuzzled her face along his hair, his neck, his face. She smiled and murmured, grinning in her mind, thinking that it was a stroke of luck for him to awaken with her lovely caresses. She looked at his face, and saw his expressions. He said by his face that he enjoyed her touch, to please keep doing whatever it is that you do. Naturally. Naturally, any red-blooded male would feel joy in psychical inspiration from a red-blooded, attractive female. Did it matter that it was her who was inspiring him? Was there some sort of natural purpose, even in such basic matters of love? Were April and Fred really two pieces of a puzzle, who could only fit together, and not with any other piece? She enjoyed his company, surely. She liked the idea of going to movies, eating out, talking about things big and small, sharing a bed. Maybe it wasn’t love -- but it was a need to be with another, to share at least part of a life. What were his reasons though? Doubt. She had wondered if Fred really found her attractive, during those dark moments when fears bubbled to the surface. She asked questions of him, and always got positive responses, but she wondered, childishly, perhaps, if someday, a thinner, more model individual would get a stronger reaction from him. He said that she looked great, but maybe that was his kindness speaking. He liked the girl, so he wanted to make her feel good....... “Fred... “, April whispered, feeling her body melting onto his. “You mean a lot... to me.....” She hoped that those words actually meant something, even at this intimate juncture. He looked over to her, grazing his knuckles over her forearm. “You .... mean ... a lot to me... too.....”, he sighed. He clenched her forearm, intensely, as if to assist her. The two began to kiss, hungrily, returning to the lustful emotions that characterized them. April felt the results of their sensual madness. He came all over her wrist and forearm, and over his own stomach. His body erupted from her touch, and nobody else’s. His body reacted strongly to hers. The warm mist of intimacy crawled over her entire self, creating a genuine sense of relief within her soul. A sense that perhaps all those ill thoughts she harbored were nothing more than reflexive bits of self-loathing. A sense that she was capable of love, even of the less spiritual sort, and capable of influencing others to gain this emotion as well. Perhaps she and Fred really were two pieces of a puzzle, who’s unique designs were well-suited to fit together........ * April stood over the stove, wearing an old, tattered, and overlarge T-shirt. Well, at least Anna’s nowhere to be found, thought April. Surely, the boyfriend will be a little more receptive.......... French Toast was on the menu. Something which she never had the pleasure of making during the regime of the roommate. Typically, the food was basic. Truthfully, the concept of French toast wasn’t really any more progressive than eating eggs, toast, and milk separately. But Anna was never able to even experiment with anything -- even new combinations of the same things. Painful familiarity was her form of comfort. April placed the slices of bread inside the sizzling pan. The eggs clung to the softness of the bread, oozed into it like liquid to a sponge. The bread was thrown over onto its other side, and the process was repeated, until the dough was fully smothered with the eggs. “Fred, I’ve got breakfast for you....”, she cooed playfully. She carried a plate for him and for herself. “So.... what have we here?”, Fred asked, sitting himself onto the sofa. “French toast.”, April said. “Oh la la!”, he said, lamely. April gave him the plate. Fred just stared at the dish. “It’s eggs and toast.”, he said, deadpan. “Umm, yea, that it is.”, she smiled, not clueing in to his comment. “I guess I figured that “french toast” would be this incredibly exotic dish... some really expensive meal. You know....”, he laughed, “like caviar or something!” “Nah!” “And I suppose Anna won’t eat this. But what’s odd about this?” “Well, it’s eggs and toast together! That’s different. She’s used to eating toast, she’s used to eating eggs.... but one at a time, not all at once. That’s a fundamental difference!” Fred bites into the food as April speaks. “.... it must taste vile!”, she joked. Fred sat still for a moment, contemplating the food. “It’s... odd... it’ s crisp like toast, but mushy like eggs. It’s too confusing to my tongue!” “Oh, not you too now!”, April laughed. “Let me feed you... maybe that would be more appealing.” She broke a piece away from its body, and seductively dangled it near his mouth. He easily took the bait. “yea... that was much better!”, he agreed. “A brief sampling of April for the second course, perhaps?” He was about to take her into his arms, before realizing that both of them had plates sitting on their laps. “My, Fred.”, April smirked. “You’re quite the lusty fellow! I can’t get over how you talk about me. I bet if you had a choice you’d be having sex with me morning, noon, and night, and every moment in between!”, she commented, not at all displeased. “Well.... it’s a distinct possibility!”, he replied, with a naughty glare. “That doesn’t bother you, does it?”, smiling. April grinned, while letting him play with the strands of her hair. “Well, not really....... although it would leave little time to do laundry.” “Ah..... to hell with the laundry. To hell with all things.....”, he said. The two continued eating, while their eyes continued their lusty ogling. “Is that food any good now?”, she asked later on. “Yea.. it’s improving.”, he said. “But it’d be even better with some sort of meat, sausages, perhaps.....” “Oh, now, don’t forget your fruits and veggies!” “Yes, teacher!”, he mocked. “It’s good to be able to eat with you. It’s nice not to always have to go to fast food joints with you. I know, if we were teenagers, that’s probably all we’d be doing. Get our fingers on any greasy burgers or sloppy pizza. You know, anything that’s not healthy, anything that is not what our parents want us to eat. But it’s nice not having to do that now... it’s nice to be able to go out with you and eat real food for a change.” “Well, I think it’s nice to eat real food with you...... “, kissing her on the mouth, tasting what she ate herself earlier. “Just as long as I don’t get any fatter than I already am.”, April joked. “I don’t want to sue you for making me obese! That’d even be worse than the guys suing McDonald’s for making them fat!” “No way, don’t worry about that! You just look wonderful!” April smiled. Wow, Fred really laid it on thick sometimes.... but her ego could take it. “Maybe someday I ought to be like that scrawny actress that you don’t care much for, from Lovely and Amazing, and stand naked in front of you like she did to the guy she was sleeping with. I’ll ask you to critique my body parts.”, she smiled. “If you stare at me long enough..... perhaps you’d find something that’s not so wonderful.” “No need for that. I already know how wonderful you are.. I’ve touched and seen every part of you. It’s all good!” April blushed. She started to feel like a more confident person. Her body felt warm all over. She succumbed to the belief ..... that she was beautiful........ At that moment, Anna walked inside, apparently for her lunch break. April noticed that, as usual, Anna looked tired and weary. “Hey, Anna.....”, April sighed. “Hello....”, she said flatly. Anna slowly walked further inside the living room. “Hello...”, Anna uttered, monotonously, looking in Fred’s direction. “Hello, Anna.”, Fred said, disinterested. “Long time, no see.” “Yes, it has been....”, she said. She stood silently, as if simmering. “Godd-mn it!”, she blurted. “I can’t stand.... I can’t deal with those fu-kers anymore! I can’t!” April’s eyes widened, prompted by the harshness of Anna’s voice. “What’s... what happened?” “Every day I’ve got to supervise a bunch of ..... grunts! That’s the only proper word to call them. Grunts! Grunts who can only speak in grunts, who can only think in grunts! I wish I could just grab them by the necks and strangle them, until they can grunt no more! I don’t think it would matter... I wouldn’t have destroyed anything of value!” April was horrified at this unwholesome stream of consciousness. “I.... I can’t fire them!”, Anna continued. “Because I’m not the big boss... but if.. if... I were where I am now, three years ago, I would have had the power to not hire these people. How sick is that????” “Anna....”, April said, her voice trembling. “Calm down.. just sit down for a while...it’s okay....” Fred said not a word, smirking as he watched Anna’s mannerisms intently. “I can’t calm down. I can’t calm down. I can’t calm down if I’ve been working there for so long.... and have no reason to get out. I mean... I make good money, but I’m not rich, and I’m not happy. This wasn’t my dream job or anything!”. Anna’s face became red, her eyes grew puffy. “Well, then don’t complain. Get a good job, or be happy with your money.”, Fred said, deciding to make himself a part of the conflict. Anna glared at him, as the words embedded themselves brutally inside her broken ego. “Oh, p-ss off!”, throwing up her arms in helpless frustration. Her face trembled, when she was not able to say anything more. She began to stagger around in circles, wishing she could get out of this emotional disaster. Fred watched her, with a glare of amusement. April noticed this, but chose not to comment on it. “Sh-t... I’m going to have to leave again. I wanted to rest for my lunch break, but it isn’t going to work. I’m too.....”, she opens the door. “....too frustrated.” Her voice softened as she shut the door behind her, not even acknowledging April or Fred as she left, only focusing on herself. April sat back on the sofa, shaking her head. Fred still looked at the space where Anna stood, as if attempting to figure her out somehow. “What....”, April began to ask. “.... do you think that’s all about?” Fred remained in heavy thought for a brief moment. “Anna’s not very good looking, I’m afraid. She’s got to bulk up big time!”, Fred said, determinedly. April’s jaw dropped. She couldn’t believe her ears. “What? What are you saying?”, she scoffed in stunned disbelief. “She’s a pretty girl. There’s nothing wrong with her..... What does that have to do with anything?” “Sure there’s something wrong with her.”, Fred grinned. “She has no body at all. She’s so -- so flimsy! No breasts. No hips. No a-s.....” April felt a twinge of anger, arising from the sympathetic portion of her soul. Anna was a troublesome, problematic girl, but even April felt that Fred’s comments were beyond what was at issue. “That’s just the way she is.”, April responded. “Don’t beat her up because of genetics. So she doesn’t have huge t-ts -- so what??? She’s.... there’s more to the world than that!” Fred smiled. “You should be happy that I said that. You should be happy that I go for the full-figured gals. I just enjoy big gals!”, he voiced in joy. April tried desperately to understand that comment. She tried to see how that comment could be taken other than as purely dubious and condescending. “So what are you trying to say?” She concluded that, “You went out with me because I’m fat????” “Hey, don’t look at it so negatively. I.. I think that you’re beautiful. I think that your body type is beautiful. It just turns me on. I came to terms with myself... I realized that skinny gals have nothing on you.” He then laughed quietly, trying to put a humorous spin on it all. “It’s a fetish of mine!” He ceased, guessing at April’s response. “A fetish?”, April sobbed. She was hurt. “I’m a fetish! Right up there with bondage and bootlicking! Why, thank you , as-hole!” Fred was struck by her curse. “What... what do you mean? I think you’re wonderful.. you’re the perfect woman!” “Me, April? Or me, chubby woman?” Fred couldn’t answer. “I’m more than that, Fred. I was with you because I enjoyed your company. I liked talking to you, I liked going to movies with you, I liked our little dinner dates, I liked the sex! It had nothing to do with a fetish! Unless you consider the desire to be with another human being a mere fetish!” “D-don’t make it look all that bad now....” “Why not? There’s so much more to me than my body. I was so worried, so stereotypically female, that you doubted me because of my looks. I wondered if perhaps I could have lost a few pounds.. then you’d like me better. I was thinking selfishly... but it was natural. I just didn’t want to lose you. But now you say that you like me.... because I’m not thin!?? And, look, Fred... I feel insulted right now! I really do! I wish that we could love each other individually -- none of this bullsh-t about fetishes and body types, and how we have to satisfy them! I think I liked you for more specific reasons. Tell me, are there any other reasons that you like me?” Fred soaked in all those words. But how to reply? “Ah... I .. think you’re .... a very sweet woman. Yea, I do.... and... you’re nice to hang out with. Of course. If you weren’t... why would I hang out with you?” April knew that he was most likely sincere. But, nevertheless, he was grasping. He was hoping to find something other than his major obsession that would revel the truth of his feelings. She put her head in her hands, frustrated. “God... I feel like such a fool -- such a fool. I feel so used.” Fred attempted to place his hand on her shoulder, but April gestured for him to avoid such an attempt. “Don’t touch me... please.”, she said, not cruelly, but factually. “I don’t know what that touch means to you. Not now.... not now......” Fred wanted to touch her. He wanted to embrace her, to feel her against him. But April shut him out. She glanced back in his direction, with watery eyes. “I think ... that you should go... please. I have to think about this.” Fred was shocked. He didn’t know what to say. “Umm.... well, okay then... “, he mumbled. “That’s fine ... if that’s what you want, that’s what you shall get!” He rose to his feet, and went to get his footwear. “You should be lucky that someone likes you, like I do.” April’s heart was pierced with pain. What an arrogant line. “You don’t like me enough, apparently.”, she shot back. Fred didn’t say another word, as he walked out of the apartment............ ............. April remained seated, thinking that this apartment was a curse upon her. Maybe it would be better if she just left. Just pack up and leave. The classifieds have so many ads for apartment vacancies. She could just call one up, and say that she’d take it, just as long as it didn’t mean having to deal with Anna’s craziness, with Fred’s condescending. Break the cycle. Go out and find a better, less painful cycle............. Part 4 http://www.epinions.com/content_2974326916  |
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