Making Christmas Your Own - Creating New Family Holiday Traditions
Dec 18 '02
The Bottom Line Christmas traditions don't have to be generations old to be special.
When I was a child, my mother made Christmas magic. For weeks before December 25, she would clean, decorate, and bake. A couple of days before Christmas, most of my adult brothers and sisters would arrive with their spouses and children and for a few days I went from being an only child to a part of a big family. What I remember most are the traditional Christmas rituals that my mother lived by. We always decorated our family Christmas tree on December 10 because my mother was decorating the tree when she went into labor with my brother Mark. Every Christmas Eve, I was allowed to open one Christmas present to hold me over and usually, I opened the one from my grandparents. We always went to the candlelight service on Christmas Eve, and my mother always made a huge meal on Christmas Day. But, as much as I cherish the memories of my childhood Christmas, my mother’s traditions never were a perfect fit for my own family after I married and had children. Consequently, I have developed my own family traditions over the years and I am not alone.
Now my family doesn’t observe the December 10 tradition for putting up the Christmas tree. This year, the tree won’t go up until the last minute in order to make Christmas morning a bit more magical for my youngest kids. Christmas Eve dinner will be comprised of the contents of Hickory Farms gift baskets - a tradition that started during my busy college years. Another tradition that started when I was an extremely broke single mom / college student with two small children was buying a new stuffed animal for under the Christmas tree every year. I put the stuffed toys under the tree for the kids to play with at Christmastime and it makes the tree look like a fantasy Christmas scene even in years when I can’t afford a lot of presents. Our traditions grew out of very practical reasons but have carried on long after the reason for them is gone. To my children, this is just how Christmas is done.
Mine is not the only family that has developed its own traditions. George Bounacos loves to go out on Christmas Eve and load up on stocking stuffers for his family. He and his wife Joan also preserve their sons’ letters to Santa each year and incorporate them in the holiday decorations. Christmas in the Bounacos household consists of a mixture of traditions carried over from George and Joan’s childhoods with new traditions they developed together. His is a blended family and when asked if he believes the rituals they developed together helped them become a family rather than just people who happened to live together, he replied, “No question. It became something that was ours. And as we built up these traditions, they began a history. Now, after a decade, we can look back and say, ‘We've been doing this for years...’”
Mary Jane turned to family traditions to help her get through a difficult time in her family. “I was in fifth grade when my mother was ill and my father just couldn't deal with putting up a Christmas tree. I dragged the huge boxes out of storage and put the 6' fake tree together by myself on Christmas Eve day because I just couldn't stand that we weren't "normal." The more things changed, the more I needed some things to stay the same.” She and her husband now have their own unique spin on Christmas. On Christmas morning, she makes breakfast while he wraps her presents in the living room for her to open once breakfast is over and they traditionally buy a gift that they both can enjoy together. It’s not only children who benefit from the stability and structure of family traditions.
Some traditions help parents keep their inner child alive. JP and Maggie Burke have fun giving their family little clues about their gifts. JP says, “The gifts are sometimes obvious, because it's stuff you asked for. In that case, part of the fun of the clues is that they're confusing. You may know what the gift is, but if you can't find why the clue is connected you still haven't figured it out.” In addition, JP believes traditions help keep the memory alive of family members who have passed away and therefore makes use of his own childhood traditions - he and Maggie just put their own spin on them.
I find it fun to watch traditions emerge in new families. Naomi and George Stankow-Mercer have only been married three years, but are already developing their own Christmas rituals. According to Naomi, “Before opening presents on Christmas morning, we have a breakfast of eggs Benedict (my favorite). We chose this practice just to torture any children we may have and prolong the present-anticipation/agony. “ Both George and Naomi are Army officers who anticipate having to travel quite a bit when their future children are young. Therefore, they look to family traditions to give their family a sense of stability. Moreover, George and Naomi come from different religious backgrounds. Like the Bounacos family, they are using their own new holiday traditions to create a unified Christmas.
I am enchanted by the fact that as American families create their own holiday traditions. To me, it is a symbol of the strength of families. As times change, we change too and make something special out of our unique circumstances. Are you looking to create your own family traditions? George Bounacos would tell you, “You do something one year and it makes you feel good so you try it again. By the time you reach a third year, the tradition is born.”
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Epinions.com ID:
amykhar
|
 - Top 500 |
|
Member: Amy
Location: USA
Reviews written: 320
Trusted by: 479 members
|
|
|
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.