J-Lo, X-Tina, and Avril...Oh My! [Steal This Music W/O, Pt. 2]
Jan 01 '03
The Bottom Line No offense, guys ;)
The bane of my existence in the past five or six years has been the resurgence of pop music. The genre has always been around for better or for worse, but about the time that Backstreet Boys crashed the uber mainstream post-grunge party all musical bets were off. Suddenly the likes of Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and various other illiterati were selling the records and as a result some truly talented acts were all but ignored.
The influence of crap-pop has also unfortunately rubbed off on the world of rock and alternative. It takes a virtual miracle for an act with any significant amount of talent to break through to the mainstream. Radio stations play the same sounding songs time and time again and music videos pimp the good looks of any given lead singer. As with pop, good production, looks, and publicity are much more important than actual great or innovative music. As a result crap-o-rific acts like Creed, Staind, Incubus, Nickleback, Puddle of Mud, and about a zillion other interchangeable bands are the only ones that ever make any dent in sales or in fans.
2002 could have really been a turn around. It really should have been. Instead for some bizarre, unexplainable reason a whole new crop of poppers and crap-rockers populated MTV and for that matter just about every radio station. It’s really pretty difficult to find a root to the cause of this continued success. It’s actually pretty surprising that the trend has managed to last this long. Considering that the last real wave of pop acts to find any support of the masses was in the late 1980’s with NKOTB, Tiffany, and Debbie Gibson leading the way and lasting less than five years. It’s my belief that had the events of September 11th not happened pop would have once again gone relatively dormant. But alas…listeners want a light-hearted, non-thinking, and relatively unemotional outlet instead of sinking their teeth into more substantial act. Maybe—hopefully—in 2003 less formulaic rock and pseudo-alternative (because of course ANYTHING with mainstream support cannot be by definition any kind of alternative) will once again be reborn.
But as it stands, music in 2002 is a pitiful state of affairs. As much as I want to praise the industry for supporting the “The” bands like The White Stripes, The Strokes, The Vines, and The Hives I’m left with an overwhelmingly sour taste in my mouth. I can forgive the public for enjoying American Idol. At least most of those kids had some vocal talent. But what the hell is up with Christina Aguilera’s new self? What about the ridiculously unfortunate pop mess that is Avril Lavigne? Speaking of messes, why is it that other
Shelly’s Brief List O’ Dishonor
…in no particular order…
Christina Aguilera
Avril Lavigne
Britney Spears
Jennifer Lopez
Scott Stapp
Sitting atop the list o’ dishonor is Ms. Dirrty herself. Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that Christina has plenty of talent. So much talent in fact that she shouldn’t dilute her image by trying to gain street cred. In the past year, she’s become the laughing stock of many radio shows and of many music discussions. The girl looks like a crack wh*re with a bad case of wanna be syndrome. She’s a itty bitty little girl with a new boob job who wants more than anything else to not be herself. As much innate talent as she has you’d think that the record company would know better than doing that to her image. She’s truly gone downhill…if that’s at all possible.
Second in line is Avril Lavigne. What’s the deal with absolutely non-punk entities describing themselves as edgy or as alternative? Ms. Lavigne insists she’s punk. Ahem. One look at any one of her videos or one listen to any one of her idiotic songs will expose her true pop nature. Even worse, the girl has a very limited amount of talent. Fortunately for listeners, Avril won’t be around after a second album. She is most certainly a candidate for a massively unrecoverable case of sophomore slump. And I can’t wait…
And then came Britney Spears. Narrowing down a root for my ire for Ms. Spears is a challenge. But most of my hate probably stems from her near complete lack of real talent—as evidenced by not writing and almost always singing in sync instead of live. With that said, Spears took much of this year off. Not only that, she was involved in a very public breakup with boy bander Justin Timberlake. But fortunately for listeners Britney was awarded little attention musically…her 2001 release came and went with a comparatively modest amount of support from the likes of even MTV. And this lack of support is completely deserved. She will forever be known as the late 1990’s version of Tiffany…with hip huggers, thongs, and big boobs of course.
Moving on, we encounter Jennifer Lopez…or J-Lo as she’d prefer to be known. Unlike some of the other acts I’m convinced she has some amount of talent. Yes, even vocally. Ms. Lopez is attempting a phenomenal feat by splitting her time between music and Hollywood. Of course, her work in both arenas has been met with mixed results. She would be best advised to concentrate on one thing rather than intently trying to be a megastar in everything. The girl doesn’t write music, and the credits of This is Me…Then read like a laundry list. She seems to have allowed herself to become a manufactured commodity that will in the end be both forgettable and disposable. Too bad, so sad, NEXT!
Finally, Scott Stapp of Creed is an incredibly annoying figure. He wholly represents everything that is wrong with rock music today. His carefully coiffed mane, his leather pants, his cocky smirk, and his leanings toward trailer trashdom are evidence of his ridiculously clichéd self. Creed isn’t a completely horrible band aside from their hokey lyrics and stupid image. But Stapp on the other hand deserves to be slapped for helping to ruin rock music in the 1990’s even through today. Oh yeah…and the fact that his wife beat him up this year does nothing to improve his image as effeminate as it already is.
So there you have it. I wish I could speak more specifically about individual albums. Then again, if I did I’d have to admit to buying them. Fortunately, I’ve not bought one crappy album from 2002 aside from that rather pointless Lambchop Is A Woman release. And then there’s also the Alanis Morissette monstrosity that I mistakenly pocketed. So aside from those two I’ve managed to come out of 2002 with very little unnecessary money spent on trendy bands or acts. I just wish that the American buying public would also open their eyes and realize that music is more than just radio and MTV and that the majority of truly wonderful music NEVER gets any airplay in any arena. No offense to any Creed, Britney, Avril, J-Lo, or X-Tina lovers out there…
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This has been part 2 in thevoid99’s 2002 Steal This Music Write-Off. It’s been a joy and check back in periodically for my third end-of-the-year editorial. In the meantime, check out the following participants:
Lambchops
KCFoxy
Boffie
Brotherman
Cartman2k
Cletta1201
Deaser26
Dedemw
Dr.Faustus
Ekidd911
Guildenstern
Hierograffiti
Jeff_Wilder78
Kristinafh
Madtheory
MattA75
PacmanY2J
Paulyoungotti
Speeddemon531
Stairway2Drew
TheUnknown285
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Member: Shelly T.
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan
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Bye-bye CL hat. Hopefully I'll write some new reviews some time soon!
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