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Goldfish for DummiesJan 02 '03 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Just a bunch of fishy kissy crap for those who may be interested.
I used to think that Goldfish were for pansies. To my untrained senses, they seemed stupid, and uglier than steaming sh-t on Mick Jagger’s weathered face. They didn’t defend themselves, no matter how big, and oftentimes carried a price tag that would later spell instant regret. Nope. Goldfish weren’t for me. I preferred much manlier fish, like fantail guppies. One day, my girlfriend convinced me to buy a pair of extremely young Oriental Moores (just one of the many hybrids of goldfish) and we raced them home. We dropped them in the tank, and I was interested to see how they’d react in a haven dominated by sailfin mollies and giant catfish. Needless to say, they promptly got their scaly a-ses butchered in the worst possible way. It was horrifying to watch my bully fish ram the newbies into the side of the aquarium and systematically rip their fins off. Lacy shrieked in dismay the next morning to find one of the Moores belly up (half-eaten), the other one swimming in circles with its last remaining appendage twitching from exhaustion. Seeking to mend Lacy’s heart, I snuck out and purchased the biggest Black Moore I could find. He was by far larger than any other fish in the aquarium, and ruled his new domain with a mooky fist. The other fish tried to annihilate him, but his large size made him virtually indestructible. Over time, Mr. Bubbles (the incredibly unique and dynamic moniker we slapped him with) won my heart and eventually reversed my anti-goldfish mentality. I quickly saw many advantages in goldfish that didn’t exist with other tropical specimens. They never started a ruckus, had the capability to grow insanely large, and didn’t die when you neglected the tank for a week or two. In short: Goldfish had all the attributes of the perfect pet. Before long, I phased out all the mollies and guppies (read: they died ‘cause they suck) and converted our tank into a party spot reserved exclusively for goldies. Why Goldfish? Why not? Goldfish are arguably the hardiest aquatic species one can invest in. Even under the most grueling of aquarium conditions, goldfish will survive where other fish would kick the bucket. They can harmoniously exist in any temperature of water (negating the need for a heater, unless you’re attempting to coax breeding conditions), and aren’t so sensitive that you need to spend eons on maintaining an exact environment. They aren’t nearly as prone to disease as other fish, which means owning them won’t be a constant battle to keep them healthy. Add to that, there’s so many different varieties available that you’ll never own them all. Even now, goldfish enthusiasts spanning the entire globe constantly strive, with great success, to create new strains of goldfish through involved breeding practices. Some are cute, others are f-cking strange, but all are lovable. Goldfish have the greatest payoff for breeders, as all species are able to mate and produce with each other. What this means is that you can engineer your own little creations by pairing up two of your favorites and letting them do the nasty. The possibilities are limitless, and can put some chump change in your pocket if you seek to make your hobby profitable and commercial. Minimum Requirements and Practices for Keeping Goldfish When selecting a habitat for your scaly little friends, skip the bowl unless you want to simulate a torturous prison. You’ll need an aquarium, bucko, and a decent sized one at that. The ideal size depends on how many fish you intend to keep. The general rule of thumb is 1 gallon per inch of fish. Avoid the tall, narrow tanks. Not only do they look tacky as f-ck, but they don’t have much surface area, which is imperative for oxygenizing the water and allowing harmful gasses to escape naturally. You’ll need a filter as well. A mechanical filter that attaches to the back of the tank should work more than adequately in syphoning the refuse that collects as time progresses. An air stone would fit in nicely also, as it keeps the water in a constant state of movement and allows the necessary exchange of gases that I mentioned earlier. When you’re through picking out the necessary shizzo, you’ll need some form of decoration. Gravel, plastic plants, castles and/or scuba divers. Whatever floats your boat. I’ve dillied with live plants in the past, but have found them to be a crappy investment. With all the medications and water conditioners you apply to the tank, their death is an absolute certainty and nobody wants dead foliage ruining their fish viewing experience. Live plants are best reserved for koi ponds and such. Although you can find most of the information you need online, it wouldn’t hurt to invest in a Goldfish book of some type. The pictures are damn purty, and the information contained therein will shed some light on the mysteries of fish keeping, as well as empowering you with the knowledge to combat the plethora of diseases they may contract. Corny though it may sound: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. In terms of food, you should purchase a heaping container of goldfish flakes as their mainstay, and a few other different goodies for variety. Bloodworms, Tubifex, brine shrimp, etc. The fish will love you for it, and you’ll succeed in creating a balanced diet by feeding them differing snacks now and then. A vibrant and active fish is always fed a conglomerate of menu items. While we’re on the subject of feeding, people often wonder how much is too much. Many will advise you to feed your fish twice daily. But to hell with that, mah friends. You want your fish to be gargantuan, right? You can get away with feeding them up to five times a day. During any given feeding session, drop no more food in the tank than your fish can consume in a five-minute period. Also, it helps to force your fish to fast at least one day per week. By doing this, you will encourage them to clean up all the leftover sh-t on the bottom of the tank and you’ll give their digestive systems a well-needed break. Even though goldfish can live in dismal conditions, that’s no reason to be lazy. Weekly maintenance is not only good, but arguably necessary. Change about a third of the water, give the filter pump a good cleaning, and scrape the algae off the inside of the aquarium with a razor. If you keep at this religiously, your fish will not only survive… they will thrive. Varieties of Goldfish Not all goldfish are gold, buddy. To round out this review, I’ll throw out a few descriptions on some of my favorite goldfish species, as well as some care taking advice for particularly vulnerable specimens. Comet Commonly sold as ‘feeders’ in finer fish stores everywhere, you can pick these little guys up for a nickel each. Commonly available in orange, and more rarely available in red and yellow, Comets are the ultimate beginner’s fish. They are by far and large some of the toughest creatures on the planet, able to survive even in toxic waters. Don’t let their penurious price tag turn you off… these guys are every bit as lovable as the fancy breeds, and can grow to an impressive size. A word of advice: Keeping a comet in the same tank with other fat, fantail species isn’t a horrible idea, but it isn’t the greatest. The comet’s missile-like body shape will give it a tremendous speed advantage over its bulb-like cousins, meaning more food for Mr. Comet and less for Mr. Bubbles. Black Moore A hobbyist favorite, the Black Moore is entirely black (wowee!) and velvet in appearance. They are noted for their telescopic eyes (large, round protrusions from the face) and may seem a little goofy at first, but rest assured their everything you could ask for in a fish. They have amazing finnage, ranging from proud dorsal fins to sprawling veil tails. Of all the available Moores, the Blacks are by far the most popular. Ryukins Ryukins, like virtually all subcategories of goldfish, are available in a rainbow of colors. I tend to think that they’re the sharpest looking of all goldfish… their bodies are aquadynamic (should such a word exist), with pointed faces and high humped backs. Championship quality specimens are quite the spectacle to behold. Ranchus The Ranchu differs from other goldfish in that it lacks a dorsal fin. Because of this missing component, they have a sea-cowish look that just screams “I’m cute. Love me!” They are also the proud owners of chubby faces, which never fail to inspire a smile and a chuckle. Bubble-Eyes As the result of selective breeding, Bubble-Eye goldfish are the king of torturous mutations. Perhaps you’ve seen one at the store, chilling at the bottom of the tank because it’s bubbly eye sacs are so heavy that they serve as makeshift anchors. All too often I’ve heard people react with disgust upon viewing one (hell, I used to be that way, too), but they’re really quite charming. I guess it all depends on how deep your love for circus freak fish extends. Be careful with Bubble-Eyes. Under no circumstance do you want to intermix them with aggressive fish. The enormous air sacs that protrude from their eyes are sensitive and will pop with enough agitation. Also, due to their immobility and crappy field of vision, you’ll want to watch them and make sure they’re getting enough to eat. My best advice is to keep them in a tank with few fish, so they don’t lose out on the smorgasbord competition. … Rest assured, there are plenty more species out there to pique your interest. Currently, Lacy and myself are on a conquest to acquire one of each strand, although we readily acknowledge the prospect as an impossible goal. Some of the finer goldfish have price tags that extend well beyond the $100 range. The joy that goldfish bring is an experience unmatched. Should you ever want to know more, there are a million resources on the internet to exploit, along with a fistful of communities who share their fish stories with zeal and are more than willing to accept a new member. Give goldfish a chance, man. That’s all I’m really saying.  |
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