ABC's The Bachelor 2: Showdown in the Harem Feb 05 '03    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet Popular Products in Movies 1776 From $8 Alias - The Complete Fifth Season From $20 The Bottom Line Juan Hefner, the newest Bachelor, has whittled his pool of women from 25 down to 3. Difficult decisions have to be made. Who will win his eternal, undying devotion? The stakes: Juan Hefner, the bachelor, began three weeks ago with 25 ladies, knowing that he had to make tough choices and let many go during some very dramatic rose ceremonies. Hearts have been crushed, lives ruined, reputations dragged in the dirt. Three ladies remain, and tonight we will watch three final dates, and a rose ceremony in which Juan must say goodbye to one lady, who will forever curse her fate and miserable existence. Who will it be: Chrissy, 24, an aromatherapist from Los Angeles; Toni, 33, a female nurse from Denver; or Jennyfer, 26, a poetaster from Tenafly? Date 1: Friday. Acapulco. Chrissy and Juan in a hot tub. Chrissy: I think I have fallen, like, totally 110% in love with you. Juan: (nervously) Really? Chrissy: Oh, like, seriously, this is getting so deep. I don’t know what I’ll do if you, you know, don’t give me a rose at the next rose ceremony. Juan: Right now, I feel exactly the same. Chrissy: (Unsure) I know. Juan: I mean, we click on so many levels. You like music, I like music. You like movies, I like movies. You have shapely legs, I like shapely legs… Chrissy: Oh my God, I feel so certain right now that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Short pause Juan: Likewise. Chrissy: Ever since we met, all of our alone times have been so special. I knew you were the one for me, and that I was the one for you. I knew it even before I met you. Juan: What are your feelings about sharing? Chrissy: Huh? Long pause Juan: (Rubbing her shoulders from behind, whispering in left ear) I mean, like if you got a big care package at sleepaway camp, would you keep all the candy and stuff for yourself? Chrissy: No. Juan: And suppose we were at a buffet dinner, and you were served a larger piece of chicken than I, would you share some with me, knowing I was more hungry? Chrissy: Of course, darling. Juan: OK, because I just needed to get that clear. I think you’re a wonderful girl, very sexy and confident; I felt very good when we were kissing during our last alone time. Even when some of the others were around, like during the group date, I felt something special between us. I noticed your smell right away, too. Chrissy: Really! Because that’s, like, so important to me in my profession. People have to like each other’s smells. I’ll never forget, it was two weeks ago, and you came to our group date wearing this patchouli and mint cologne that you had mixed yourself. I love patchouli and mint, and even though my guru says never to mix them, I knew from that moment you would be my husband, the father of my children, and like, my total kindred spirit or something. Juan: Totally. They kiss; camera fogs up; fade to commercial. Date 2: Saturday. Arizona. Toni and Juan groom horses on a prairie. Toni: Gee whiz, isn’t this FUN! Juan: I love horses. They are so equine. Toni: Seriously, right? Juan: Did you ride horses as a girl? Toni: Growing up in Denver, we rode a lot, yeah. Juan: (Suddenly bored ) Can we stop talking about you and horses all the time? Toni: (Aghast) What do you mean? This is the first time we ever talked about it. Juan: Well, I don’t want to talk about it. Toni: Jeese, aren’t we testy today? Juan: I’m sorry, I guess it’s all this pressure, having to make up my mind about you three ladies. Toni: Things were going so well between us last week. In our alone time, you kissed me and I knew I would be ready to accept a ring from you if you proposed. I’ve given it a lot of thought this last day, and when I look into my eyes in the mirror, I know I see you in my pupils, staring back at me, knowing I am staring at you from inside my heart, looking at me. Juan: That made absolutely no sense. Toni: What’s happened to us? Suddenly you’re sarcastic and mean, and like, I’m having serious doubts whether, if you give me a rose at the next rose ceremony, I would even accept that rose. Juan: (Suddenly cheerful, again) I didn’t mean anything I just said. You are without a doubt one of the sweetest and most sincere and loving people I have ever met in my life. Toni: (Tears welling up, shaking head sadly) I just don’t know. Juan: Let me say this now, I don’t care if the cameras are here watching our every move. You complete me. You are everything a man could hope for in a woman. You work with sick people, you obviously have a big heart. You are funny and sexy and kind and good. Toni: You mean that? Juan: (Patting a horse) As sure as this gelding will never spawn, yes. Toni: Oh my God, I think this is the happiest moment of my life! Juan: Me too. Hey, ever heard of Isadora Duncan? Toni: No. Juan: Or, uh, Paul Bowles or Brigham Young? Toni: Are they movie stars? Juan: No. What’s your feeling about polyamory? Toni: Poly—what?? Juan: Nevermind. Kiss me. They kiss; camera steams; fade to commercial. Date 3: Sunday. Niagara Falls. Jennyfer and Juan sit on bench. Juan lets out a big yawn. Jennyfer: Who’s the sleepy head, today? (She laughs) Juan: Wow, I’m sorry. This weekend has been a whirlwind. Jennyfer: I’ll BET! (She laughs) Juan: But we’re here together now, I don’t want to think about the others or the rose ceremony. Jennyfer: (Laughing) Good! Juan: It’s so beautiful here. Man, Niagara Falls! Jennyfer: My God, you’re right! It’s so beautiful! Juan: Like you. Jennyfer: Awwwwww! (Louder laugh, goes on a while) Medium length pause Jennyfer: I wrote you another poem! Juan: Wow, that’s exciting, let’s hear it. Jennyfer: (Opens notebook and reads) I have such a deep feeling. Uh, that’s the title! Let me start over. I Have Such A Deep Feeling, by Jennyfer McNeerson. I have such a deep feeling, Way way down inside. Such feelings like this would be Impossible to hide. Especially because our every move Is open to scrutiny, By cameras following our love, Broadcasting it on TV. And so I say to you, my dear, The things I want to say— The things for everyone to hear Across the U.S.A. You are my special one, my Truth, My rock and my redeemer. From me among the ladies in sooth, I wouldst thou be a Gleamer. If you have a feeling deep, as deep As everybody knows, Make sure your promises to keep And give me the biggest rose. (Laughs) Well, that’s it! Juan: Oh, it’s wonderful. Jennyfer: Thanks! (Laughs nervously) Juan: I want you in my life. Jennyfer: (Laughing louder) Me too! Juan: I want you to teach me how to write such beautiful poems, and I will show you all about Spain and we will have a large family, yes? Jennyfer: I come from a big family! Juan: (Producing a ring) We aren’t supposed to do this. The producers will probably be angry, but I want you to have this. (Places ring on finger) Jennyfer: (Weeping) Momma! Poppa! Do you see this? I’m special! I’m special! I’m special, goddamn you! Juan: Please hide this from the others until after the rose ceremony. I would not want them to be jealous. Jennyfer: I love you. Juan: I love you. Jennyfer: Oh my God, I really love you, I could throw myself over that railing! Juan: Please don’t. Jennyfer: See you at the rose ceremony? Juan: Of course, Sweetest Flesh of my Flesh. Jennyfer closes her eyes and leans her head back. Juan smooths his hair back, smiles, and goes in for the kiss. Camera clouds over. Fade to commercial. Back at the Bachelor Ranch. Monday. Doug Smarm, the master of ceremonies, solemnly leads Juan (who wears a suit with no tie) into the anteroom of Rose Hall. They sit on a couch, and Smarm takes Juan’s hand in his own, and stares soulfully into his eyes. Smarm: (After a weighty pause) So, Juan, tonight’s another night. There are three ladies and only two roses, and you’re going to have to break somebody’s heart. How are you feeling right now? Juan: This is difficult. Much harder than I expected. These ladies are excellent specimens of their sex, and I have had a wonderful time with each of them. What I’m going to say will be difficult, but I’ve done a lot of soul-searching, and I know I’ve made the right decision. Smarm: So, you’ve done a lot of soul-searching, and you feel you have, how can I put this? Made the right decision. For you? Juan: Yes. Smarm: (Patting Juan’s hand) I can imagine what you are experiencing is like nothing you have ever experienced, that is, with the exception of last week’s rose ceremony when you had to say— Goodbye— to seven wonderful ladies, each perfect in her own imperfect way? Juan: Well, nobody is perfect, not even me. That’s why I’ve made my decision. Smarm: You are a very, very brave man. Are you ready to go into the Rose Hall, and begin this rose ceremony? Juan: I think so. The Rose Ceremony. At one end of a large room, Chrissy, Toni and Jennyfer stand together in a line with a small space separating them. A lectern with two roses on a silver platter shines under a spot light. Smarm leads Jaun to the lectern by the hand, and with a soft caress on the shoulder, leaves him standing alone across from the three women. Juan clasps his hands in front of his pelvis, and now he stares solemnly at the women, and they back at him, for one or two minutes in absolute silence. The women’s faces begin to twitch uncomfortably, not masking their nervousness, hope, and expectations for the worst. Finally: Juan: These last three weeks have been incredible for me, and I think I speak for all of you when I say, for all of us. I have met your parents, and you have met my mother, and I feel this is already one step away from matrimony. We have all grown so close, especially in our alone times, and that is why this situation is so hard. Chrissy, we had a lot of fun together in the jacuzzi in Mexico. We didn’t really get to know each other that well, but something chemical and smell-related between us was obviously going on, and I knew then that I could never give you up. Toni, we ran into some rough times in Arizona. First, you were being a little self absorbed, but then I acted like a jerk, and you forgave me. You are shy and adventuresome, elegant but down home. I can’t imagine spending another day without you. And Jennyfer. Oh, Jennyfer. Your eyes, your hair, your hands, your parents, your poems, your feet, your sister, your cute belly, your baby-fat, your cooking! You are one seriously unstable girl, and that turns me on. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a third rose So, ladies. Please come a little closer. (The three approach the lectern) Thanks. I know that some people might look askance at what I’m going to ask you to do, but I don’t really see any way to get around this situation. There are seven days in a week, and three of you. I love you all and want you to be my wives, and if that is not legal because of some so-called "laws", then at least live-in lovers, for the rest of our lives. I will promise to be faithful to the three of you and never look at anyone else so long as I live. It was hard enough to say goodbye to the 22 others, but I think they will understand, and it will give us all more time to develop in our relationships. I am deeply committed to the three of you and will respect you for the rest of my days, or the devil take me. I’m almost sick with worry at what you will say, but I have made up my mind, and am ready to love you all truly, and to foreswear all others from this moment on. (He bends down on one knee.) So, Toni, will you accept this rose? Toni: (Laughing, wiping tears from her eyes.) Of course, Juan. Juan: And Jennyfer, will you accept this rose. Jennyfer: I thought you’d never ask! Yes, dear, I will accept this rose. Thank you. Juan: Chrissy, will you promise to love me, as I will vow to love you all, and place your trust in me? Will you please accept this rose? Chrissy: (Sniffing the rose and smiling through tears) It smells like patchouli. Of course, Juan, I accept this rose. I love you. Juan: I love you. I love you all. I love you. Chrissy, Toni, and Jennyfer: We love you. Doug Smarm: (To Juan) I l love you, big guy. Juan: I l love you, too. (Hands Smarm the silver platter) Smarm: (Holding back tears, speaks to camera) We are all as shocked as you are at home. Juan Hefner is one lucky man. And these are lucky ladies to have such a lucky man in their lives. And we are all the luckier for their luck. For The Bachelor, I’m Doug Smarm, wishing you farewell for now, as I say, Goodbye. Credits roll. All five join together in an embrace.

Read all comments (28)|Write your own comment

Write an essay on this topic.