The Artful Draft Dodgers
Feb 06 '03
The Bottom Line Draft Dodging is something that should not be commended. But don't rush to condemn those who did it if you did so yourself.
As we get closer to finding ourselves in the midst of war with Iraq, I find it interesting how many of the people in the government that create wars for our military to go off and get themselves killed in have never actually served their country themselves. As far a s current politicians that have served in the military go, we have McCain and Kerry and of course Colin Powell. But other than that, a surprising number of these politicians have no military service at all. Surprising considering the fact that many of them were of draft age in the midst of the Vietnam War. Let us imagine the various ways they might have gotten out of fulfilling their military duty.
(Scene: An army office circa 1968.)
(A young man appearing to be in his early 20s enters the office)
Army Officer: May I help you?
Young Man: Yes sir. I’m here to apply for a Draft deferment.
Officer: On what grounds?
Young Man: School. I’m studying English Lit at Yale.
Officer: Okay. Your name sir.
Young Man: George. George W Bush.
Officer: I’ll also need the name of one of your professors in case we need to verify any information.
Bush: Roy Hinkley.
Officer: Roy…Hinkley. Okay, your draft deferment should arrive in the mail in a few weeks.
Bush: Thanks (He leaves).
(Another young man enters. This young man is limping in a way that would appear to be exaggerated to most people. Apparently not to the officer though.)
Officer: May I help you?
Young Man: Yeah I’d like to apply for a Draft deferment.
Officer: That’s the second one of you we’ve gotten in here today. Your name?
Young Man: Patrick J Buchanan.
Officer: (Repeating name) Patrick J Buchanan. Okay Mr. Buchanan. What is your reason for requesting an exemption?
Buchanan: Medical. I injured my knee playing football and now I walk with a limp as you could see when I walked in.
Officer: Okay. I’ll need the name of your physician so I can contact him for verification if the need arises.
Buchanan: My physician?
Officer: Yes
Buchanan: My physician is uh…Jim Kildare.
Officer: Jim Kildare. Okay. Your Draft deferment should arrive in the mail within a week.
Buchanan: Thanks. My best wishes to the people who get the privilege of defending this great nation (Buchanan walks out with no sign of the limp that he walked in with.)
(Another young man enters)
Officer: Yes?
Young Man: I’m here to apply for a Draft deferment.
Officer: A lot of you in here today. Name please.
Young Man: George Francis Will.
Officer: George F Will…just need middle initial. And your reason for requesting this deferment?
Will: School reasons sir.
Officer: I’ll need the name of a Professor at your school.
Will: Professor Plum.
Officer: Professor Plum…Okay, Mr. Will. Your deferment will arrive in the mail in a few weeks.
Will: Thank you sir.
(Will leaves and the officer goes back to work as Trent Lott and Bill Clinton walk in)
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