Snow-Handling Styles, Buffalo vs. Long IslandFeb 17 '03 Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line Lawn-Guylanders don't know snow from shineola :) Yes, I know, it's my review-a-day month and here I am, writing an essay in the Writer's Corner instead of a bona fide review. Well, I'm giving myself a break today, my own personal snow day in honor of the Blizzard of '03!!!!! It is important to note that the title really needs those five exclamation points, honestly - it's the only way to write it to convey the tone which the TV announcers have used all day in their all-day coverage of this "historic snow event." Now, I might be giving myself a snow day, but I can't just not write anything, so here is my native-Buffalonian viewpoint of how my old home and my new home deal with that white, fluffy stuff that comes out of the sky. Predictions Buffalo newscast: "We're expecting another 6" of lake-effect snow in the southtowns tonight, with 8" predicted throughout the day tomorrow. And now let's go to the sports desk. Jim? Tell us how the Sabres did against the Maple Leafs tonight!" Long Island/NYC newscast: "Our top story - Batten down the hatches, we're expecting a blizzard that will dump up to 20 inches - or more! - in our area by the time you get ready for your morning commute! Let's go to Chip the Weatherguy! [Chip, the weather guy, gives the forecast complete with wind chills, radar, Doppler4000 extry-special technology, and really big WordArt-style grapics saying stuff like 'BLIZZARD!' and '20 INCHES.'] Thanks, Chip. Now to Julie in New Jersey. Julie, how is New Jersey preparing for the storm? [Julie, standing in a supermarket parkinglot, mentions how there are no flakes yet, but that the stores are out of milk, bread, and beer. Similar why-does-this-need-to-be-'Live-From-the-Scene' reports come in from Long Island, the Bronx, Queens, Manhattan, and Westchester County correspondents.] Well, we all give you all a lot of credit for being out there with this dangerous storm coming. Now it's time for the weather. Chip, what can you tell us about this storm? *Special Trivia Note: the first snowstorm of the year 2000 was actually touted as "THE STORM OF THE CENTURY!!!!!" in downstate newscasts, and predictions made it sound like those who believed in the Millenium Curse would be proven right, the world was coming to an end.* Shoveling Buffalo: Shovel when it gets light out and the snow seems to be abating UNLESS one has to go to work. Shoveling one's driveway also usually entails shoveling the sidewalk, the neighbor's sidewalk, and the path to the door for the little old lady across the street. Snowblowers come out only if the accumulation is greater than 5". Wear layers, a hat, gloves, boots, and Gore-Tech or Thinsulate jackets. Don't worry about contrasting outerwear. Yes, down jackets are fine when worn with skirts and ski boots. Long Island: Start shoveling when the first snowflake hits the pavement and seems to stick. Repeat every hour. Do this wearing the biggest jacket you can find with a huge hood that you put over your hat. Make sure you have no peripheral vision so you don't have to catch the angry glares of your neighbors as you toss your snow on the section of their driveway they just finished clearing. If you have a snowblower, become obsessed with getting every last flake off of every paved surface of your property. Be sure to go up and down the driveway several times, especially if you have little distance between your house and your neighbor's. You want them to know you have a snowblower and their hearing your snowblower while watching television will remind them. But don't let them know you have a snowblower by doing their sidewalk for them. Unless your neighbor is a little old lady. Driving Buffalo: If it's a normal snow day, you've already got the snow- or all-weather tires on the car, the kitty litter and shovel in the trunk, and the good snow brush/scraper out. If it's a State of Emergency snow day, you're one of those drivers who has a four-wheel drive vehicle and probably chains on your tires, and the only reason you're leaving the house is because a) you're pregnant and in labor; b) you work at a hospital or have some other vitally-needed job; c) you've got a plow attached to the front of your truck and plan to make a killing doing driveways for $30 a pop; or d) you ran out of beer. In either case, you carefully clean your car windows to make sure you can see. You even clean the snow off your headlights, license plates, and roof (so the snow doesn't slide and cover the back window), even if you have a van. You clean off the hood, the trunk, the fenders, etc., so the snow blowing off your car as you drive doesn't fly back onto the windshield of the car behind you, blinding the driver. You stick to the main roads as much as possible, drive slowly (taking road conditions into account), and don't make any sharp, sudden turns. Most of the roads are pretty passable because the plows have been working since the first few inches accumulated, and they were followed closely by the road salt trucks. You follow the rules of the road, use your turn signals, and allow room for the other cars around you. (Of course you do that stuff; you almost always do that stuff.) You plan ahead, leave early, and drive carefully. When a car, van, truck, or bus slides into the curb in front of you, you (like everyone else in the immediate vicinity) pull over, stop the car, and help push the stuck vehicle away from the curb; then you get back in your car as if nothing happened and continue on your way. If a motorist is stranded, you pull over and offer him or her a lift or use of a cell phone. Long Island/New York City: Regular Version You don't really have to go anywhere, but you can't stand staying in the house with your parents all day and haven't been able to afford your own place yet(hey, you know the house prices out here!). You go dig out your Camero or Mustang and spend a good half-hour trying to get it away from the curb, hollering the whole time about the #$%^ snow. Your trunk contains a 100-CD player system and a dried-out bottle of suntan lotion. You wipe the snow off the driver's side of the front windshield with your sleeve and scrape any ice off with your gym membership ID or Macy's credit card. (Hey, the snow will just blow off anyway once you hit the parkway, right?) You stick to the main roads as much as possible. You have to. The other roads aren't plowed yet and the car has a too-low clearance to get down those side streets. The roads are a little slippery since the Sanitation Department doesn't use salt (would hurt the delicate Long Island pavement and sports cars) but puts down sand... sort of like putting marbles on an ice rink. But that's OK, you're a great driver. And yeah, it did look like you could have gone through that snowbank (if your car was about a thousand pounds heavier). Long Island: Deluxe SUV Version This is the weather you've been dreaming of. You and your friends and neighbors all got your SUV's and now there's finally a real reason to own one. Time to put the puppy on the road! You get the SUV out of the heated garage (can't leave it outside, it would wreck the finish), warm it up, and back it out. You cautiously try it out on your street; all's good so far. You try going over or through that little mound of shoveled snow - hey, wow, that was great! Time to hit the parkway! Oh look - the parkway signs say "30 MPH." But they just mean the regular cars, not the SUV drivers with their four-wheel-drives and stuff. That thing's a tank! And it can handle anything! You blow off slower traffic, barely waiting for them to get out of the way, and without using turn signals... turn signals didn't come in that SUV's option package, did they? That sander ahead is going too slow, so you pass it, while dialing your friend on your cell phone. Don't worry, if the cell phone doesn't get reception from that ditch, the sander guy will call the tow truck for you. Work Buffalo You're rarely late for work because you know "it's snowing" just won't fly. You get the driveway clear by 6am, put on your suit and hit the road by seven to get to work by nine (adding some time to the commute just in case the Father Baker Bridge is closed again and you'll have to take the Lake Shore Drive detour). Your office is never closed. Your kid's school is never closed (unless you live in the Southern Tier, but that's not really Buffalo, that's about an hour south). But if you see the cops close the Skyway, you'll probably be able to go home early. Especially if you live in Hamburg. Long Island/New York City Snow is always a good excuse, even if you use mass transit. It's also a good excuse to wear jeans to work. You spend the day looking out the window, listening to 1010WINS, and updating your boss and coworkers about the Horrible Storm. You get to leave early. The train runs late so you yell at the conductor, who is obviously the person responsible for the snow drifting over the third rail and keeping the train from getting adequate power. Your boss calls at 9pm to tell you the office will be closed tomorrow. OK, so I exaggerated, but only a little bit. And in Long Island's defense, Buffalo averages 90-100" of snow a year and so they have the ability and expertise to handle snow. And right now I'm glad that I live in Long Island - because even though the LIRR is running and the Manhattan main streets are clear, I got that 9pm phone call ;) This review is the seventeenth installment of "Around My House in 28 Days," my response to the challenge leveled by amykhar. The challenge is to post one review every day for the whole month of February. Well, at least it's a short month. I'm starting at my door and going counter-clockwise around the house, reviewing whatever's in sight (and on this site). So far it's been the bathroom, then the kitchen, then the living room, and now the bedroom, but with a brief foray today to the Great Outdoors. Liked my review? Hated it? Leave a comment!  |
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