3-2-1-Cue the music-Bring up the lights: "Epinions Presents the 75th Oscars, Hosted by Macresarf1!!"Mar 10 '03 (Updated Mar 26 '06) Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line A long night in Brisbane, California, brings you this year's whole Oscar Experience in advance. You will have to wait two weeks to learn how much is true.
----------------- Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Academy, Honored Epinions Advisors and Top Reviewers, and all you millions of Epinionators out there in the dark! I greet you from Tolia Amphitheater in Downtown Brisbane, California. We've come here on Monday, March 10, 2003, where Michael Savage and myself are going to help you celebrate the 75th observances of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences! Otherwise known as the Oscars! I have a message, just handed to me: "Jack, I've gone back to the limo, to keep the Champagne chilled -- (signed) Laura." Or is that Carmen Electra? Can't make it out. Here's another: "I congratulate President Tolia and all the Epinionators, especially my old friends, Captain Harker Hillenford and Chuck Barris, for striking Jack Valenti and the Academy Old Guard early and preemptively. (signed) George W. Bush." I told you guys that we are Bushmen, and that we are authorized! Let's hear it for Harker and Chuck! Right up there, in the balcony of the Tolia Ampitheater!! They have been sent back from duty in Northern Iraq by the Defense Department to accept any awards coming the way of Charlie Kaufman, of ADAPTATION fame, and his late brother, Donald. You have to see the movie to understand that. Please . . . Please. Hold back on the applause. We have a long show. One more: "Roman Polanski will definitely join you at the Epinionators Academy Award Show, from the Eifel Tower in Paris, via closed circuit. (signed) Nirav Tolia, President, Epinions." Ladies and Gentlemen, Roman will be right up there on this gigantic monitor behind me. And some people don't think Michael Savage and Tolia are brilliant?!! Won't those super-Hollywood-limosine-liberals and crass ego-maniacal traitorous Moguls look like fools? When they turn up in their vulgar finery at that place in LA on Sunday, March 23rd? They're going to find out that the Big Show is all over. They will have expended their efforts and shelled out (get my wartime mode?) all their money for nothing because Iraq will be dominating Prime Time, and we shall have given out all the Awards tonight! By the way, I've been asked to announce that buses are waiting outside this evening to take the Losers to Edwards Airforce Base, where they will be flown to Baghdad, for volunteer duty with Saddam's Special Republican Guard or -- Lighten up, people! These are the jokes! -------------------- Seriously . . . Each year it becomes more and more difficult to do the important things regarding our economy, such as predicting the Oscars. The year 2002 was a particularly hard one for America and the World -- but not for Hollywood! As the United States led our two allies toward war, our other businesses languished, and despite the optimistic weekly, often daily predictions of recovery on the part of what FDR used to call "cheerful idiots," the Market and the public were not responding very well to an astonishing steady transfer of wealth by the Bush Administration from the Middle Class to the Very Wealthy. Despite overall protestations of their overall honesty, amid unprecedented revelations of corruption, reaching to the very core of our corporate system, American companies staggered on. While the Dollar had appeared to stabilize a bit at year's end, the Balance of Payments continued to sink into never-before-seen nether regions. Our status as the Greatest Debtor Nation in the History of the World continued to grow monumentally, as the Administration stood by, indeed drove the shift of a 250 billion dollar surplus into a 300+ billion dollar deficit, all within a year and a half. Unemployment approached an official rate of 6%, and in a general inverse proportion to the incipient flight of business services off-shore -- following those of our fabled manufacturing facilities -- the World began to avoid America as a place for sure investment. (Naturally, financial pundits kept pointing the upper middle class to a safe haven in the Real Estate market which, not surprisingly, rose in the face of negative employment and income data.) For the first time in living memory, in defiance of numerous reconstitutions of and adjustments to its definition, the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) was threatened by a growing significant weight of total collective debt weakness. [Just a note here, people: Gross National Product (GNP), the term we used 20 years ago, counted the earnings in our Homeland of an owner's assets while Gross Domestic Product (GDP), which our Nation uses now, counts earnings in the country WHERE OUR ASSETS ARE LOCATED! (Sorry, sometimes I become overwrought. I wish Mike Savage would turn up.) The adoption of the Gross Domestic Product model made a small difference to America's super economy, and gave an added perk for corporations moving their operations overseas -- that is until our reckless recent foreign policy and business practices began to increase the importance of the GDP's deficit ratio disastrously.] Anyway . . . While the United States continued to consume 60% of the World's resources, but contributed 40% of the pollution, causing Global Warming, and remained the largest producer of instruments of mass destruction in History, conservative financial observers reasonably maintained that as long as we preserved the most potent military alliances on Earth, as long as American consumers bought a majority of the World's manufactured products, and as long as our Real Estate Market held its value, all would be well, here and overseas. Besides, the American Motion Picture Industry was prospering! In the New Year prospering! In the New Year, however, while our high-handed abrogation of significant international and domestic obligations, solemnly agreed to over the last hundred years, threatened to shatter American credibility, the latter indicators above began to move slightly but ominously south, possibly on a temporary basis, but worrisome nevertheless. Yet the American Motion Picture Industry continued to prosper! In the midst of depressive factors, people, the Administration declared its intention to carry out a long standing radical ambition of influential American economic reactionaries and religious fanatics to gain control of the Middle East, Central Asia and the geopolitical Heartland of the World's landmass. (Over sixty years ago, when Germany, Italy, Japan, or Russia declared a similar ambition, we had decried it as a Plan for World Domination, and fought World War II and the Cold War against such an obviously evil goal.) As had planners for Adolph Hitler, General Hideki Tojo and Joseph Stalin before them -- like the Caesars before that -- recent dominant American ideologues in Government see us ringed with enemies who must be struck at preemptively. Economist William Greider estimates that if the Bush Administration does not win their gamble within five years, the United States might well begin a descent to the status of Brazil or even accelerate exponentially a collapse equal to the 400 year decline of the Spanish Empire. Not to worry, one thing that could be predicted with certainty is that, from from movies of sensational pornographic violence and mindless humor, our profits would be even greater this year than they were last. That would be to say, if American acts did not simply precipitate World War III, as Hitler's and Tojo's paranoia set off the Second World War! Are we having fun yet, people? If not, wait a while. You know, we were set to go to War on March 3rd, in the dark of the moon, but those cheese-eating French monkeys couldn't be bribed; and the greedy pansy Turks demanded an extra ten billion under the table, on top of Northern Iraq and the 30 billion we had already promised them! Let us all remember in 2003 while we can -- let us pray . . . that this past year was the most successful our Motion Picture Industry has enjoyed since the Federal Government adopted the new North American Industry Classification System. I can say that without fear of contradiction. Thank Congress and the Business Round Table for small giftings!! -------------------- But let's leave these matters, pleasant or otherwise, and like a plurality of the American citizenry -- those not falling into the block dedicated to crucial Basketball competitions involving the Warriors -- and concentrate instead on the truly important questions: WHO AND/OR WHAT WILL WIN THE 75th OSCARS? We better start handing out the prizes: This competition is full of conflict, too, of a professional and artistically incestuous kind. Let's see just how, starting with the small awards -- ------------------- SHORT FILM (ANIMATED): THE CATHEDRAL THE CHUBBCHUBBS! DAS RAD MIKE'S NEW CAR MT. HEAD Short animated films are hard to judge in the Oscar race. For one thing, they are often these days foreign, and if shown at all here, one has to take the luck of the draw, in the rare theaters which show them. People, I predict the Academy will select "The Cathedral" simply because I like the title. [I know this method will not inspire confidence in Epinions Top Advisors, but Management is cutting back on expenses we used to be granted to fly to Japan, Thailand, or Andorra to see these films.] The Winner is . . . "THE CATHEDRAL." ------------------- ANIMATED FEATURE FILM: ICE AGE LILO & STITCH SPIRIT: STALLION OF THE CIMARRON SPIRITED AWAY TREASURE PLANET I must confess that I seldom see animated films, saw none of the above, and this year's crop, compared with last year's, is dismal. I am made to understand, however, that in terms of animation, ICE AGE is the equal of MONSTERS, INC., a film I have seen. That's good enough for me. ICE AGE is my choice. The Winner is . . . "ICE AGE." Hey, this predicting stuff is like being "The World's Superpower." It's easy! ------------------ DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT: THE COLLECTOR OF BEDFORD STREET MIGHTY TIMES: THE LEGACY OF ROSA PARKS TWIN TOWERS WHY CAN'T WE BE A FAMILY AGAIN? The Documentary is an extremely important category of film. We need good documentarians, now more than ever. In the short category, is where they train, get their start and are seen. My guess is that "Twin Towers" will be the Academy pick, for obvious reasons. The Winner is . . . "TWIN TOWERS." ------------------ SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION): FAIT D'HIVER I'LL WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE?(J'ATTENDRAI LE SUIVANT? INJA (DOG) JOHNNY FLYNTON THIS CHARMING MAN (DER ER EN YNDIG MAN) Of several of these I have seen, I liked "Fait d'Hiver" best, with its young man caught in traffic nudging the ball of fate. It is my choice. The Winner is . . . "FAIT D'HIVER." ------------------------------------------ Next, people, we'll take up the volatile category of the actors, and those who most directly make them ready for the camera. [Say, did you hear about the two snakes? One of them said: "You know, if George W. Bush doesn't conquer the Heartland, we may not have a spot to hiss in." -- Courtesy of "The Bruce Latimer Show."] MAKEUP: FRIDA THE TIME MACHINE On the basis of criticism I've read that Salma Hayek's body make up did not begin to suggest how maimed Frida Kahlo really was, I'm going to take John M. Elliot, Jr. and Barbara Lorenz's work in THE TIME MACHINE, a film which is honored in no other category (and was thought to be brought low by its screenplay). The Winners are. . . John M. Elliot and Barbara Lorenz, for THE TIME MACHINE. ------------------ COSTUME DESIGN: *CHICAGO FRIDA *GANGS OF NEW YORK THE HOURS *THE PIANIST Costume Design is a category for the practiced eye. For instance, are some critics correct in suggesting that Virginia Woolf was really something of a fashionplate? If so, she would not have worn, in 1923, the frumpy, if comfortable styles Nicole Kidman adopts in THE HOURS . Would not Frida Kahlo have had to make certain accommodations to the terrible injuries she suffered in that street car crash? Are the duds worn in GANGS OF NEW YORK authentic, or were they taken from a comic book? Are the field insignias of the Waffen SS in THE PIANIST correct? [Some say, they are not.] I'll take the easy way out, and give my Oscar to Coleen Atwood for the highly stylized, literally jazzy costumes she puts on the performers in CHICAGO. The Winner is . . . Coleen Atwood, for CHICAGO. ----------------- ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE: Adrien Brody in THE PIANIST Nicolas Cage in *ADAPTATION Michael Caine in *THE QUIET AMERICAN Daniel Day-Lewis in GANGS OF NEW YORK Jack Nicholson in *ABOUT SCHMIDT Observing first that I would have given an Oscar nomination to Kevin Kline for his excellent portrayal in the underrated *THE EMPERORS CLUB (Michael Hoffman) -- among the excellent performances cited -- three stand out. If established in the public eye, Adrien Brody would win the Oscar for his quietly masterful portrait of Wladyslaw Szpilman, a man sustained by his dedication to music during the final collapse of Europe's Old Order in World War II. If Oscars were won for crucially important and relevant performances in sabotaged films, Michael Caine would take the honor for his flawed but wise old journalistic owl in THE QUIET AMERICAN, a film as prophetic today as Graham Greene's novel was in 1952. As it is, with Nicolas Cage in a whimsical dual role in ADAPTATION; and Daniel Day Lewis, in essentially a supporting role, the only real reason to see GANGS OF NEW YORK; the Oscar does go to Jack Nicholson, the old pro who reminds us again what an actor he is, sinking seamlessly into the persona of Warren R. Schmidt, the actuary from Omaha who becomes our Turn of the Century Everyman. The Winner is . . . JACK NICHOLSON. ------------------ ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: Chris Cooper in ADAPTATION Ed Harris in THE HOURS. Paul Newman in THE ROAD TO PERDITION John C. Reilly in CHICAGO Christopher Walken in CATCH ME IF YOU CAN Oscar deals five wild cards here. Paul Newman must be considered a favorite because of his active star status, which spans 50 years. At 78, he may deserve a statuette for a supporting role in THE ROAD TO PERDITION. Ed Harris has a small role in THE HOURS, a film dominated by women, and he makes the most of it, working against type. Chris Cooper is often remarked as an underrated, largely unrecognized actor. Not so in ADAPTATION, in which he manages to steal scenes from the likes of Meryl Streep. Christopher Walken, with his deathly face and dancer's grace, has become legendary, usually in forgettable pictures like CATCH ME IF YOU CAN. And of course, John C. Reilly, who raises a notion of being in every decent American picture of late, is in two Miramax productions that Mogul Harvey Weinstein can feel crudely proud of, in his Americana way: CHICAGO and GANGS OF NEW YORK. (Reilly's up for 'Mr. Cellophane Man," Roxy Hart's cuckolded husband in CHICAGO.) The Winner is . . . ED HARRIS. ------------------ ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE: Salma Hayek in FRIDA Nicole Kidman in THE HOURS Diane Lane in UNFAITHFUL Julianne Moore in FAR FROM HEAVEN Ren?e Zellweger in CHICAGO In this category, we have two artistic sweethearts, sentimental favorites, and the star powerhouses. Salma Hayek spent her own money and time getting made FRIDA, the tragic story of the maimed Frida Kalho, who those in the know suspect may have been a more original artist than her husband, the great Diego Rivera. Diane Ladd has grown up as a beauty and a talent, and she pleases in the vibrations she gives off as the perfect wife and mother overtaken by foolish passion in the Adrian Lyne's soap opera, UNFAITHFUL. Nicole Kidman follows up her revelatory work in MOULIN ROUGE last year with a dramatic tour de force as significant novelist Virginia Woolf in THE HOURS. Good as Julianne Moore is in FAR FROM HEAVEN, much as I touted her performance in my review, I feel that she is in a catch 22, being nominated for both Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress. Renee Zellweger, on the other hand, benefits from a clear shot as Roxie Hart, unencumbered by Catherine Zeta-Jones' Velma, in CHICAGO. However, I believe that the Academy will select the only clear superstar here, one on the ascendancy: Nicole Kidman. The Winner is . . . NICOLE KIDMAN. ------------------ ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: Kathy Bates in ABOUT SCHMIDT Julianne Moore in THE HOURS Queen Latifah in CHICAGO Meryl Streep in ADAPTATION Catherine Zeta-Jones in CHICAGO The smart money would be on Meryl Streep for ADAPTATION, if simply for the fact that she has been nominated so often, and because she has turned in several fine performances this year. Julianne Moore, as mentioned, is nominated in two categories. Were it not for Miramax manipulation, she would by rights be nominated, too, for Best Actress in THE HOURS because, as the original novel is adapted, she has arguably the leading role in that triptych film. Kathy Bates provided the perfect New Age foil for Jack Nicholson's Warren R. Schmidt, in ABOUT SCHMIDT. That leaves Queen Latifah and Catherine Zeta-Jones, both in CHICAGO. Queen Latifah would have a good shot at it, if her Director had not softened and sentimentalized her part. Zeta-Jones emerges as the best performer in the show. However, once again, I go for the singleton: Kathy Bates. It is truly a supporting role -- and the latter half of ABOUT SCHMIDT would not work without her. The Winner is . . . KATHY BATES. ------------------------------------------------ Now, to those elements which constitute an entertaining, worthwhile movie on the screen -- MUSIC (SCORE): CATCH ME IF YOU CAN -- John Williams FAR FROM HEAVEN -- Elmer Bernstein FRIDA -- Elliot Goldenthal THE HOURS -- Philip Glass ROAD TO PERDITION --Thomas Newman Music (or the lack of it) at strategic moments will often determine how successful a movie is with audiences. I felt Master John Barry's score for ENIGMA (Apted) filled that need perfectly. The Academy, in its wisdom, however, chose the above list of composers, which also contains several other past masters. Out of this group, I believe that Philip Glass's rhythmic, almost hypnotic music served the mysterious preordained quality of THE HOURS best, though I liked Elmer Bernstein's period score for FAR FROM HEAVEN, too. Glass is my choice. He has the additional snob appeal, for the Academy, of being on the verge of acceptance into the modern Musical Pantheon. The Winner is . . . PHILIP GLASS for THE HOURS. -------------------- MUSIC (SONG): CHICAGO -- "I Move On" (Fred Ebb & John Kander) 8 MILE -- "Lose Yourself" (Eminem and Luis Resto) FRIDA -- "Burn It Blue" (Elliot Goldenthal and Julie Traynor) GANGS OF NEW YORK -- "The Hands That Built America " (Bono, Adam Clayton, and Larry Mullen) THE WILD THORNBERRYS MOVIE -- Father and Daughter" (Paul Mullen) I don't care much for songs in movies which are not musicals, and so I lean toward Ebb and Kander's "I Move On" from CHICAGO. However, given its genuine patriotic appeal, I believe that the winner will be Bono's "The Hands That Made America." The Winner is . . . BONO'S "The Hands That Made America," in GANGS OF NEW YORK. ------------------- SOUND: CHICAGO GANGS OF NEW YORK THE LORD OF THE RINGS: The Two Towers ROAD TO PERDITION SPIDER-MAN Few films have created such a cacophony of sounds as does THE LORD OF THE RINGS: The Two Towers. I believe that the Judges will agree. The Winners are . . . Christopher Boyes, Michael Hedges, Michael Semanick and Hammond Peek, for THE LORD OF THE RINGS: The Two Towers. ------------------ SOUND EDITING: THE LORD OF THE RINGS: The Two Towers MINORITY REPORT ROAD TO PERDITION What is true of the sound, is true of the Editing. Has to be. THE LORD OF THE RINGS: The Two Towers is my choice. The winners are . . . Ethan Van Der Ryn and Mike Hopkins for THE LORD OF THE RINGS: The Two Towers. ------------------ VISUAL EFFECTS THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS SPIDER-MAN STAR WARS EPISODE II ATTACK OF THE CLONES The lock that THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS has on computer generated effects can be broken here by the peculiar charm and equal popularity of SPIDER-MAN. I give the Award to John Frazier, John Dykstra, Anthony LaMolinare, and Scott Stokdyk, for Visual Effects. The Winners are . . . John Frazier, John Dykstra, Anthony LaMolinare, and Scott Stokdyk for SPIDER-MAN. ------------------- WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY): ABOUT A BOY ADAPTATION CHICAGO THE HOURS THE PIANIST The cliche is that a great film begins on the written page. In the Adapted Screenplay Category, of course, the writing this year may be either a novel, the book of a stage musical, a memoir, or in the case of Charlie (and Donald) Kaufman's ADAPTATION, a fantasy having little to do with the work of reportage on which it is based. I was not so impressed with the Kaufmans' screenplay, amusing as it was, as some critics; nor the finessing adaptation of ABOUT A BOY; nor did I find Bill Condon's solution to the cinematic problems of the stagy CHICAGO particularly clever. So, I would hope that it comes down to David Hare's difficult transformation of Michael Cunningham's novel, the Hours, and Ronald Harwood's dramatization of Wladslav Szpilmann's memoir of his survival of the Holocaust, in the Polanski's THE PIANIST. I would choose Harwood, but I think the Academy will honor Hare's complex and ingenious THE HOURS. The Winner is . . . David Harwood, for THE HOURS. ------------------ WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY): FAR FROM HEAVEN GANGS OF NEW YORK MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING TALK TO HER (Hable con Elle) Y TU MAM?AMBI?N The term "original" is used loosely in reference to a couple of the screenplays listed in this category. FAR FROM HEAVEN is an interesting pastiche of several Douglas Sirk movies turned inside out. The various workings of Jay Cocks, Steven Zailian, and Kenneth Lonergan were based on Herbert Asbury's classically lurid Gangs of New York, which Director Martin Scorsese appropriated to his own purposes. The category is interesting for having a Mexican (Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN) and a Spanish screenplay (HABLE CON ELLE) listed, each written by the director; and a third, (MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING), taken by the Canadian-Greek Nia Vardalos from her one-woman play. (She starred in both.) It is said that the insatiable Harvey Weinstein is trying to put pressure on Academy members to pick GANGS OF NEW YORK for both screenplay and director, which is laughably outrageous! My sense is that the Members will resist this crude extortion and pick the screenplay for FAR FROM HEAVEN or, in something of a break with tradition, either FAR FROM HEAVEN or MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING, which was the sleeper of the year. My choice is Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN, a dark horse, and a break with tradition. The Winners are . . . Alfonso Charon and Carlos Cuaron for Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN. ------------------- ART DIRECTION: CHICAGO FRIDA GANGS OF NEW YORK THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS ROAD TO PERDITION Art Direction is often a tough one. The most talented artists in the World, commercial or otherwise, may be found in the employ of the Movies. This year, the best aspect of each of these films may be what their Art departments produced superbly. I go with CHICAGO, although I think a case could be made for each of the others. The Winners are . . . John Myhre and Gordon Sim, for CHICAGO. ------------------ CINEMATOGRAPHY: CHICAGO FAR FROM HEAVEN GANGS OF NEW YORK THE PIANIST ROAD TO PERDITION One thing we can be sure of is that Oscar Nominees and the War on Iraq will be well photographed. What is needed in both cases is a little sentiment. The tears and cheers grafted to the War will be carefully vetted and filtered by the Pentagon and the White House, but in the Motion Pictures, some genuine emotion sometimes creeps in, which cannot be easily predicted. Therefore, though Dion Beebe's hard-edged photography for CHICAGO was ruined by the editing, and GANGS OF NEW YORK had the facilities of Rome's Cinecitta behind it, and Edward Lachman's re-creation of lush 1950's Technicolor appeared almost literally unbelievable, and granting that Pawel Edelman really deserves the Oscar for THE PIANIST, I believe that the Academy will grant the honor posthumously to THE ROAD TO PERDITION'S veteran genius, the late Conrad L. Hall, who gave us among other works: COOL HAND LUKE, IN COLD BLOOD, BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID, FAT CITY, THE DAY OF THE LOCUST, not to mention AMERICAN BEAUTY. The Winner is . . . Gordon L. Hall, for THE ROAD TO PERDITION. ------------------ FILM EDITING: CHICAGO GANGS OF NEW YORK THE HOURS THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS THE PIANIST My fear is that Martin Walsh's editing might take the Oscar because, I think, that it ruined an otherwise likable Musical. Thelma Schoonmaker, an exquisite craftswoman, must wince at the butchery which the villainous Producer Weinstein forced on Scorsese; a chunk is obviously chopped out of the middle of GANGS OF NEW YORK. I cannot speak to D. Michael Horton's work on LORD OF THE RINGS; THE TWO TOWERS, not having seen it yet, but I am certain it could not best Peter Boyle's edit of THE HOURS and Herve de Luze's cut of THE PIANIST. I favor THE PIANIST but think THE HOURS will win, given the stars and the Studio campaign involved. Both jobs are excellent. The Winner is . . . Peter Boyle for THE HOURS. ----------------- FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: EL CRIMEN DEL PADRE AMARO HERO THE MAN WITHOUT A PAST NOWHERE IN AFRICA ZUS & ZO It is curious that the two Latin films nominated for their screenplays (Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN and HABLE CON ELLE), both written by their directors, were ignored for Best Foreign Language Film. This anomaly may have come about because each nation chooses its entry. Partly for that reason, I think Carlos Carreras's Mexican soap opera-ish EL CRIMEN DEL PADRE AMARO (with cynical undertones) may well be chosen Best Foreign Language Film. The German NOWHERE IN AFRICA is a moving story of Jewish settlers in Africa, but its story is flawed in its telling. Zus & Zo is an undistinguished Portuguese family story. YING XZIONG is a Chinese historical drama. HERO, part of Aki Kaurismaki's Finnish bitter-sweet trilogy of Depression, both personal and economic, may be something that Academy members are not quite ready for . . . yet. Of course, had the Academy received Alexandr Soukarov's THE ARK, it would have saved all doubt, for that film, in terms of class, significance and entertainment, is the Best Foreign Film of the year, but it was not nominated. My money, then, is on EL CRIMEN DEL PADRE AMARO. The Winner is . . . EL CRIMEN DEL PADRE AMARO. ------------------ Thinking of the Documentary Feature Category, I find BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE's inclusion surprising. The Academy often shys away from Politics. I tend to mark down Political Documentaries myself, but there were certainly a few this year which touched on the subject: *JOURNEYS WITH GEORGE, THE KID STAYS IN THE PICTURE, *THE PINOCHET CASE, and *THE TRIALS OF HENRY KISSINGER. At least one or two of them were better than some of those nominated below. And certainly, the non-political *RIVERS AND TIDES was probably better than any of them. Onward -- DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE -- Michael Moore DAUGHTER FROM DANANG -- Gail Dolgin and Vicente Franco PRISONER OF PARADISE -- Malcolm Clarke and Stuart Sender SPELLBOUND -- Jeffry Blitz WINGED MIGRATION -- Jacques Cluzaud, Michel Debats, and Jacques Perrin. Popular wisdom has long suggested that any film about Civil Rights or the Holocaust has a leg up in the Documentary Feature Category. This year, however, there is no American Civil Rights entry. A Holocaust film, PRISONER OF PARADISE, about the pre-War German star, Kurt Gerrons (the original Mack the Knife), is a cautionary tale. Gerrons thought he could bargain with the Nazis, but he was used by them and executed. The story has already been told in Ilona Ziok's KURT GERRON'S KARROUSEL (1999). That leaves an appealing look at the activities of kids at the National Spelling Bee (SPELLBOUND); a study of birds (WINGED MIGRATION); DAUGHTER OF DANANG, a story of a young woman who returns to Vietnam from the United States to find her birth mother; and of course, the best known of these documentaries, BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE, Michael Moore's sensational and entertaining expose of American Gun Culture. In terms of relevance and impact, I would think, in other times, BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE would easily take the prize, but with a War on, it will be interesting to see how the Academy gauges American tolerance for such muckraking. SPELLBOUND is its natural competitor, and I reason that they will cancel each other out, and that DAUGHTER FROM DENANG will come to the fore. The Winner is . . . DAUGHTER FROM DANANG. --------------------------------------- Ladies and Gentlemen, we are at the big decisions of the evening. Since we are on the Bay and surrounded by cemeteries here in Brisbane, our signal does not carry far. However, our only cable line runs directly to Historical Old Molloy's in Colma (in which, as locals say, "it is great to be alive"), where an enthusiastic Epinions Oscar Party, made up of on-duty Epinions employees, grave diggers and funeral directors, is anxiously awaiting our decision for Best Director. DIRECTING: CHICAGO -- Rob Marshall GANGS OF NEW YORK -- Martin Scorsese THE HOURS -- Stephen Daldry THE PIANIST -- Roman Polanski TALK TO HER -- Pedro Almodovar You have all read of the pressure that Miramax Producer Harvey Weinstein is reputed to have leveled at the Academy and on Martin Scorsese himself over GANGS OF NEW YORK. He has said that the Academy should give Scorsese Best Director for his productions, and for all he sacrificed in the making of GANGS OF NEW YORK. Weinstein has also been very high on the director of CHICAGO, Rob Marshall, which means Academy members have received a lot of encouragement for him, even if CHICAGO is his first theatrical feature film. These two films may also cancel each other out. Stephen Daldry, with EIGHT and BILLY ELLIOT in his credits, is a definite comer, and the Spaniard Pedro Almodovar has created his most accessible picture yet in TALK TO HER (Hable con Elle). I am going out on a Polish Elm, however, and vote for Roman Polanski. Unlike, Veteran Scorsese's GANGS OF NEW YORK, Polanski's THE PIANIST is an exquisite, personal film, which succeeds at every level that a work of art should. The fact that Polanski is a double exile, a fugitive, and undoubtedly one of the World's great directors adds poignancy to his THE PIANIST -- a comeback film, if there ever was one -- after a series of recent disappointments. The Winner is . . . Roman Polanski for THE PIANIST. ------------------ And now, the moment we have been waiting for. Have you heard the story about the two Producers? One says to the other, "I'm grossed out. If the studio doesn't have a better year this year than last, we wont have a spot to hiss in!" Ha-ha . . . ha. Well . . . it's an old story. Actually, I think I told it tonight already . . . and I stole it from a Cable Community Access show, at that Sue me. I've been asked by Alexis Johnson and Baron Jackson that you not try to call your friends at the Surf Lounge in Pacifica with the news of the final Award, not until we have listened to President Nirav Tolia's address, "The Importance of Epinions to the Motion Picture Academy of Arts and Sciences." He promises that it will be twenty minutes -- tops! BEST PICTURE: CHICAGO GANGS OF NEW YORK THE HOURS THE LORD OF THE RINGS: The Two Towers THE PIANIST First, and last of all, many pictures as good or better than the five listed were not nominated this year. As you know, the most important picture to our present National and International situation, Philip Noyce's production of Graham Greene's prophetic THE QUIET AMERICAN was not only not nominated, but Harvey Weinstein, who should be up for the Louis B. Mayer Award, almost sent THE QUIET AMERICAN directly to video out of a misguided confusion of Patriotism with Nationalism and Jingoism. David Cronenberg's stunningly sad masterpiece, SPIDER, was eligible for the Oscar but ignored by the Academy. Other fine films, such as *THE GREY ZONE, *THE EMPEROR'S CLUB, *ENIGMA or *SKINS might have found a place here, but they did not. That said, THE PIANIST is hands down the best film on the list, but I doubt that it can win. THE HOURS is an interesting film but may be a little too clever for its theme of the low self-esteem, which seems to strike women, especially talented, dedicated women very hard in a male oriented world. THE LORD OF THE RINGS may be a great film trilogy, but we are only in Part 2, and unlike THE GODFATHER Trilogy, the parts of this artistic puzzle can only be judged in the totality of the whole. (Next year!) We are left with GANGS OF NEW YORK, alternately touted and condemned by Producer Weinstein over many months. To my mind, it is a savaged mess, in which Daniel Day-Lewis performance is the only feature of real merit. That leaves the other Weinstein candidate . . . the envelop please, Harvey . . . . The Winner is . . . CHICAGO. ---------------------------------------- Michael Savage never turned up, did he? The coward! [I'M HURRYING, BARON! I'M HURRYING!] On that flawed note, seeing Alexis and Baron turning out the lobby lights, knowing we have run long again, may I leave you with the thought that's in my mind tonight. It is of Sir Lawrence Olivier, in his movie and (some say) greatest stage role as Archie Rice, a corrupt old song and dance man, in THE ENTERTAINER. John Osborne's play (and Tony Richardson's film of same) was an allegory about the death of the British Empire, set on the eve that she preemptively struck at Suez with the French and the Israelis. President Eisenhower slapped Britain down, and Britain was done as a World Power, good in the future only to support the noble enterprises of America, bringing democracy to the benighted. What America is doing in this time of Academy Awards is as dishonest and fraudulent as Britain's strike on Suez, or Hitler's trumped up invasion of Poland, or Japan's sneak attack at Pearl Harbor. We have joined the Club. Old Archie sings: "Thank God I'm normal. I'm just like the rest of you chaps, Decent and full of good sense. I'm not one of these extremist saps. For I'm sure you'll agree That a fellow like me Is the salt of our dear old country . . ." Then, he asks his audience, Didn't you like the show? Didn't like my jokes? Sorry. "Tell me where you're playing tomorrow night." ------------------ I was reminded of our President, too . . . . Good night, Citizens. Let's hope someone gives America the hook, before it's too late. Be safe. ------------------------------------------- *There follow hyperlinks to Macresarf1 reviews of some 2002 films mentioned above: ABOUT SCHMIDT -- http://www.epinions.com/content_86217232004 ADAPTATION -- http://www.epinions.com/content_90310872708 CHICAGO -- http://www.epinions.com/content_85998866052 THE EMPEROR'S CLUB -- http://www.epinions.com/content_81289776772 ENIGMA -- http://www.epinions.com/content_649034174 FAR FROM HEAVEN -- http://www.epinions.com/content_80400649860 GANGS OF NEW YORK -- http://www.epinions.com/content_86891335300 THE GREY ZONE -- http://www.epinions.com/content_79403585156 JOURNEYS WITH GEORGE -- http://www.epinions.com/content_80194932356 THE KID STAYS IN THE PICTURE -- http://www.epinions.com/content_73745337988 THE PIANIST -- http://www.epinions.com/content_86472756868 THE PINOCHET CASE -- http://www.epinions.com/content_74645999236 THE QUIET AMERICAN -- http://www.epinions.com/content_89755258500 RIVERS AND TIDES -- http://www.epinions.com/content_88345579140 SKINS -- http://www.epinions.com/content_69129113220 THE TRIALS OF HENRY KISSINGER -- http://www.epinions.com/content_82695196292  |
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