Crispy's Catalogue of Cinema - Epinions Film Dictionary W/O
Apr 10 '03 (Updated Apr 14 '03)
The Bottom Line The Bottom Line does not contain the letter C, therefore it is irrelevant.
This is my first entry in the Epinions Dictionary write off hosted by Simply_Crispy. The notion being to collect a letter by letter font of film information for you, the epinions reader. Simply_Crispy gave lots and lots of very strict rules and instructions. Many of them I ignored. Later I was told that this was acceptable. Imagine my relief! Now, please remember that this list is unlikely to be comprehensive, cohesive, or even coherent, but it will have lots of things that start with C. I hope you enjoy.
Cage, Nicolas Formerly Coppola, Nicolas. Nephew of Coppola, Francis Ford. Has the curious distinction of being an actor whose inconsistency is rivaled only by his dubious charm and questionable good looks. He has also been married to Lisa Marie Presley, adding significantly to his dubiousness in general. Must, however, be given proper credit for winning Academy Award for performance in Leaving Las Vegas.
California - The state that contains Hollywood – where some of the best and some of the worst of film are made. Also really big, and with mountains!
Caltiki, The Immortal Monster, Can She Bake A Cherry Pie?, Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death, Cars That Eat People (The Cars That Ate Paris), Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things, Chopper Chicks in Zombietown, Circuitry Man II – Plughead Rewired - All movies I have never seen, nor even heard of prior to my exhaustive research for this here most serious project. They are, however, some of the funniest C titles I ran across. Undoubtedly all were titled by a group. See: collaboration, crap or clueless.
Cameo - A brief appearance by a star usually more famous than those who actually play the leads in a film. However, a cameo appearance can also be the theatrical equivalent of an appearance on Love Boat. This subtle distinction underscores the need for a very good agent, and requires the actors to actually read the scripts they are offered. Also a type of brooch!
Camera - What they use to film movies. Duh. Operating on the simple principle of multiple still pictures run sequentially to form the illusion of movement, early cameras were cumbersome, hand cranked beasts. Steady advancement of the technology of film dating from the early 1800’s has resulted in a modern motion picture camera sophisticated enough to make those first early attempts look like two cans and a string compared to a cell phone. Today’s cameras are both diverse and increasingly less cumbersome, allowing the cinematographer and the cameraman significantly more options as to lighting, angles, and other visual effects than ever before possible.
Cameraman, First - The Director of Photography, or Cinematographer. Responsible for setting up shots and lighting. Generally credited with the overall “look” of a film.
Cameraman, Second - The actual operator of the camera. Follows the direction of the First Cameraman.
Cameron, James Director. Responsible for the Terminator movies, The Abyss, and Aliens. Became an official horses a$$ following the ridiculous success of Titanic, in which a boat sank.
Cannon, Dyan - Born Samille Diane Friesen. Interesting only because her real name is so much cooler than her stage name.
Captioning - aka subtitles. With the advent of DVD, increasingly available. An invaluable tool for parents of sleeping children who want the children to stay sleeping.
Carlin, George - Despite appearances in a number of films (including the unfairly-overlooked-at-Oscar-time Bill and Ted movies), the comedian is best known for his list of dirty words, a legacy of which his mother must be extremely proud.
Carpe Diem - Latin for “Seize the Day”. Catch phrase in the Robin Williams film Dead Poets Society. Grossly overused following the release of said movie.
Capra, Frank - Director. 1897-1991. The director of dozens of Mid-30’s to mid-40’s films, Capra was a major Hollywood player in his prime, relying on themes of common heroes besting the devious and greedy. Having served in WWI, Capra was again called to serve in the Second World War, during which time he made a documentary series entitled Why We Fight. This series was the recipient of the 1942 Academy Award for Best Documentary. Though at is peak during the 30’s and 40’s, Capra made a smattering of films after the war, the last, Pocketful of Miracles in 1961. His best known work is, perhaps, It’s a Wonderful Life, made in 1946. The film became omnipresent on TV during the Christmas holidays for many years, until NBC bought the rights so they could show it only when I can’t watch. I have heard that many of Capra’s films could be described as somewhat “sappy”.
Capshaw, Kate - Married to director Steven Spielberg. She’s made a bunch of movies, but she’s married to Steven Spielberg, so no one cares. She did, however, play a lesbian in the NC-17 rated A Girl Thing made for HBO, which may be of greater interest to some viewers than her marital status.
Carpenter, John - Director. Directed the original Halloween, effectively reinventing the horror genre and spawning a vast and vile stream of hack and slash teen horror films. But Halloween is truly scary stuff.
Carrey, Jim - Actor. Rubbery faced comedian whose career started as the only white guy on the TV show “In Living Color”. Went on to star in big screen hits like the Ace Ventura series, Liar, Liar and the epitome of any actor's career, Dumb and Dumber. Ironically enough, this movie was so dumb that it was actually funny. Turned to more serious fare with The Truman Show and proved that, despite all indications to the contrary, Jim Carrey can go more than 30 consecutive seconds without being a complete ham.
Carrot Top - Has appeared in movies. Positive attribute: hasn’t appeared in more movies.
Cartoons - What used to precede the main feature at the movie theater. Now we get big, giant ads for Pepsi.
Caruso, David - left the cast of the successful TV series “NYPD Blue” after one season to pursue a film career. Made the movie Jade. Is now back on TV.
Casablanca - A 1942 classic film starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman. Many people site it as the reason they love film. I, of course, have never seen it.
Cast - The actors in a film. All of them, not just the ones whose names are above the credits.
Casting Director - Hires the cast. Can be held fully responsible for casting talentless women for dubious reasons (read: big hooters).
Cell, The - Creepy J.Lo vehicle with cool special effects and tight J.Lo outfits.
Celluloid - The trademarked name for the thin substance of pyroxylin and camphor used to make film.
Celluloid Closet, The - Documentary. Details the history of film portrayal of homosexuality. Nominated for a 1995 Academy Award.
Chaplin, Ben - Grandson of Charlie. Cute, but with an unfortunate knack for choosing lousy roles in questionable movies such as Lost Souls and Birthday Girl.
Chaplin, Charlie - Undoubtedly the most widely renowned comic of the silent era. Known as “The Tramp” for a character he honed to perfection. Deported during the McCarthy Era. Immortalized in many ways, one of the more recent being the film Chaplin starring Robert Downey Jr. This role earned Downey an Oscar nomination.
Character - The people who come alive on the movie screen, as portrayed by actors. Other definitions of character (i.e. – moral strength, a good reputation) do not apply, and are actually forbidden in the film industry.
Character Actors - Non-leading role performers whose actual talent often steals a film from the pretty people. These actors tend to lead long and successful careers in the shadows of more famous actors with far less range and longevity. Without them, most movies would fail miserably, for they are the characters that the audience relates to, rather than idolizes, making film more than just a moving pin up calendar.
Charming - An adjective often used to describe a movie that’s not really very good, but the reviewer somehow feels sorry for it. Used often for quirky English films that no one really gets, but won’t admit it for fear of looking like a big w a n k e r.
Chase, Chevy - Actor. Best known for the National Lampoon’s Vacation movies, and as an alumnus of Saturday Night Live. One of those rare people who is funny even while doing absolutely nothing. Also a city in Maryland!
Cheech and Chong - The 70’s duo of Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong who made it big (sort of) making movies completely centered around marijuana. You just don’t see that kind of class at the movies anymore.
Cher - An actress known to wear hideous clothing to awards shows. Won an inexplicable Academy Award for her performance in Moonstruck. Previously a member of the singing duo Sonny and Cher with the late Sonny Bono, proving that she should stick to acting. Prone to showing her naval at random. Has been on her farewell singing tour for approximately 15 years.
Chick Flick - A term used to denote a movie being marketed for a female audience. See also: contempt
Child Actors - Disasters waiting to happen. See: Culkin, all of ‘em.
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - A beloved children’s classic starring Dick VanDyke. Possibly the worst movie to ever become a beloved children’s classic.
Cinema - The art of film, in all its glory and shame. Spanning the vast celluloid canvas and including everything from summer blockbusters, to action, horror, comedy, drama, romance and many other mainstream categories. Also encompassing the enormous array of artistic creation to be found outside the realm of the mainstream, in areas such as experimental film, nonlinear film, and others too numerous to count. Cinema truly is the art of the motion picture, in all its forms, from foul to fabulous and everything in between. It is one of the most widely accessible forms of artistic expression, and the one most likely to be recognized before the demise of its creator. In Crispy language, a theater.
Choker - A close up of an actors face. Also a piece of jewelry!
Choreographer - Responsible for designing and helping execute fight or dance scenes. Oh, you thought the actors really could do all that alone? Sit here, and we’ll have a talk about Claus, Santa.
Cigarettes - Smoked by actors in various films. Has become controversial as the Philip Morris Tobacco Company tries valiantly to get people to quit smoking.
Cinematograph - A type of camera used at the turn of the century (that's last century people). See: camera
Cinematography - The lighting and photography of a movie. Can sometimes make or break a picture. Lots of reviewers refer to it. Most of us don’t know what it means.
Cinephile - Someone who likes movies and has a big vocabulary.
Clapping - Something done in various theaters across the world. Inexplicable and annoying to those audience members who realize that those people up there are just pictures.
Clark, Bob - The man who brought us Porky’s!
Classic - A term used by film reviewers, promoters, producers to describe any film that they hope you will plunk down 8 bucks to go see. Also used to refer to actual film classics that have stood the test of time and remained among the best of the best. See also: Casablanca
Clueless - A funny comedy starring Alicia Silverstone. Also a term that could be used at various times to describe film-goers, reviewers, stars, writers, directors, or producers.
Collaboration - When two or more writers/directors/producers (etc.) combine their talents into a single film. The more prominent the collaborators, the more likely the film is to suck.
Color Purple, The - A Steven Spielberg film that was the first big screen appearance of Whoopie Goldberg. Co-starred Oprah Winfrey before she bought the entire Midwest. Overlooked, many think unfairly, for an Academy Award. Based on the Alice Walker novel. Side note: I saw this in a really cool old theater.
Colorization - A 1980’s fad begun by now deposed media mogul Ted Turner in which black and white films were painted by aged, blind chimps in order to appeal to a “wider audience”. The greater chimp community embraced the effort, but due to their relative lack of clout with studio executives (see: couch, casting), the fad died a relatively quick and painless death.
Coming to America - An Eddie Murphy vehicle in which he plays multiple roles. Once received a People’s Choice Award as “Best Film of All Time”. See also: clueless
Computer Generated Imagery (CGI) - The process of using digital computers to create two dimensional or three dimensional (or a combination of both) images for film. The basis for the process lies in the modeling phase, in which the structure or skeleton of the object is designed. This skeleton, when manipulated, affects the other aspects that have been layered over the model. CGI is being used more and more widely to produce the spectacular special effects we are now becoming accustomed to seeing in films such as the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings series. CGI innovator, Pixar Studios, has used the technique to produced entire computer animated feature films such as the Toy Story movies. Just these few examples show the incredible range of effects possible using this technique, and the technology continues to advance at a rapid pace. As CGI becomes more and more sophisticated, it is likely that the distinction between acting and CGI will become more blurred. A perfect example being the character of Gollum in the Lord of the Rings – The Two Towers, a CGI creation with the attributes and physicality of the man who voiced him. The cutting edge of film visuals, CGI will undoubtedly continue to both astound and confound us. As with most rapidly developing technology, there are those who abhor the excessive use of CGI, and those who revel in it. Where CGI goes from here is anyone’s guess, but it is sure to be interesting.
Condescension - The dumbing down of source material by filmmakers for fear that the audience is too stupid to enjoy the actual material.
Contempt - Often shown by moviemakers for their audiences in the form of serving up hamburger helper on chinette and passing it off as pheasant under glass. Example : Sweet Home Alabama. See also: chick flick
Coppola, Francis Ford - Director. Most famous for the Godfather trilogy and Apocalypse Now, among many others. Also, oddly enough, directed Jack.
Coppola, Sofia - Director. Daughter of Coppola, Francis Ford. To her credit so far, The Virgin Suicides.
Costner, Kevin - Actor/Director. Academy Award winner for direction of Dances With Wolves. This award was given primarily because he managed to save the movie from his own acting through a savant like directing experience. Used to make women sweat. Not so much anymore.
Couch, Casting - In Hollywood legend, it is said that once upon a time aspiring starlets were required to show their, ahem, willingness, to powerful and unattractive directors/producers. This is yet another distortion of the truth, passed on through rumor. Obviously, there was no casting couch; it was undoubtedly a car and/or desk. There certainly is no casting couch in modern day Hollywood. It is now a casting yoga mat.
Crap - Synonymous with Summer Blockbuster. See also: Carrot Top
Crew - The people who actually make a movie. This amounts to hundreds, sometimes thousands of individuals, from director to “key grip” who put their time and energy into a production that may well turn out to suck.
Crispy, Simply - Host of fine epinions write offs, reviewer of films, user of funny “British” words. This gentleman’s most glaring fault is that he is apparently extraordinarily accident-prone. Obsessed, albeit diametrically, with both Star Wars and Ringu.
Critic, Movie - Generally a bunch of blow hards who belittle the hard work of others in their incessant, grubby handed search for the fame and fortune they have neither earned nor deserve. Except epinions movie critics. They’re cool.
Cruise, Tom - Raised in Glen Ridge, New Jersey (the birthplace of a certain amateur movie critic – the closest said critic will ever get to Cruise, Tom). Burst onto the Hollywood scene in the movie Risky Business (this was not his first movie, just the first one where anyone saw him in his underwear and figured him for a star). Went on to star in many a “pretty boy” or “action pretty boy” role. He even took the bold risk of being “less pretty for some of the movie boy” in Born on the Fourth of July, directed by Oliver Stone before the director turned into a raving conspiracy theorist and became a recluse somewhere in Idaho (this information is speculative, of course, since Stone’s actual whereabouts are known only to the CIA and the alien operatives).
Cruz, Penelope - Linked romantically to Cruise, Tom. Will be famous as long as she is linked romantically to Cruise, Tom. Oh, and she has a new haircut. It’s supposed to be fab!
Culkin, Macauley - Plucky little cherub who stole the nation’s hearts in Home Alone and then proceeded to squabble about money with his weird a*s parents and get married at the age of 17 and divorced at 19. Precious, isn’t it?
Culkin, Kieran, Rory, Larry, Joe, Curly, whatever - There are about 40 of them, turning up in films at random, freaking the rest of us out.
Cult Film - A movie that received either poor box office receipts, poor reviews, or both, but went on to become a favorite with a small but extremely devoted group of viewers. A cult film is only a cult film as long as the filmmakers don’t acknowledge it as such. The moment one of the makers utters the words “cult film” the movie automatically turns into just another piece of crap that a few losers love obsessively.
Before C is B - brought to you by Artbyjude
After C is D - delivered to your door by Psychovant
(I will provide direct links after the posts are up)
The considerable cast and crew of this cinematic collaboration can be collected at crispy’s corner.
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Epinions.com ID:
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