HawgWyld gets really vain (second entry in "20 things" write-off)
Apr 15 '03 (Updated Apr 18 '03)
The Bottom Line Another look into the mind of Hawg.
Yeah, I knew it would happen. I went and posted an entry into Corpgent's "20 or So Facts About Me" write-off, and started thinking of things I would have liked to have included in it. Would it be too vain to come up with another entry? Probably, but I've noticed other folks have done the same thing, so what the hell? Besides, if coming up with another entry was a bad, vain idea, I'm sure someone will be kind enough to leave a sweet, loving comment informing me of such.
So, here we go again:
1. I mentioned I have a law degree from the University of Arkansas, but I failed to mention my parents hold three degrees apiece from the institution. My mom is a psychologist and my father, who holds a doctorate in education, is the assistant principal at a middle school.
2. My family has a very long history at the university. My Grandfather Nobles was the first to graduate from the college, and he received a bachelor's in agriculture in 1938. I have a good number of aunts, uncles and cousins with degrees from the college, too. My little brother has a degree in chemical engineering from the university, and his wife graduated from there, too. The university has a tradition of carving graduates' names on sidewalks around campus, so the Nobles family is well-represented. Unfortunately, my ex-wife received a master's in entomology from the university while she was married to me, so she's listed on the aforementioned sidewalk as "Nobles," too. What a drag.
3. I was a fan of Labrador retrievers before everyone in the world got one. I own a black lab named Roxie, and she's downright friendly. Strong, too.
4. My wife won't allow me to use my allergies as an excuse to get out of mowing the lawn in the spring and summer or raking up leaves in the fall. I resent the hell out of that.
5. I used to drink like a fish before my wife made me quit. Sure, I'll enjoy a tasty beer from time to time, but that's about it anymore.
6. I'm amazed that my energy level has declined over the past few years while as my children's levels have increased.
7. Women confuse me, and always will.
8. My wife spent two years in the Army. Never, never, never ask someone who was in the military if they "killed a man" while in the service. The question will be met with hostility, most likely.
9. While I was practicing law, I kept a Bulldog 44 pistol in my desk drawer on the advice of a few attorneys I know. I never realized practicing law could be that dangerous, and feel fortunate that only two people threatened to beat the hell out of me during my four-year legal career. I never had to pull the pistol on anyone, but came close once. I did learn, however, men going through divorce or custody cases can be downright dangerous and predictable. Not all men facing such legal problems are that way, of course, but a few will get drunk, hostile and start hating that mean ol' lawyer who's on the other side of the matter.
10. I'm a pack rat, and it drives my wife nuts. I have a fine collection of video game consoles, dating back to the Atari 2600. Some of my reviews of ancient games can be found over at http://www.ataritimes.com.
11. My wife and I both have kin in Texas in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. I love Texas, which is something most Arkansans won't admit.
12. I claim to be a baseball fan, but I root for the Pittsburgh Pirates, so what do I know? Football? Denver Broncos all the way! I started rooting for the Broncos when I was eight-years-old because I used to watch football with my dad and I wanted a favorite team, too. I chose Denver because I thought they had the prettiest uniforms.
13. Fortunately, I write much better than I speak (which is good, seeing how I make my living as a journalist and all). I have a thick, Southern drawl and I tend to use a lot of colloquialisms. Four colloquialisms are my favorites. The first is, "He was so drunk, he couldn't hit the floor with his hat." The second is, "He was knee-walking drunk." The third one is, "It's cold outside. It's so cold, in fact, I went downtown and the lawyers had their hands in their own pockets." The final, and most crude one, is "It's hotter than two rats f---ing in a wool sock."
14. I've always been a cartoon junkie, and the fact I have two small children allows me to keep watching them and not feel at all childish about it. Dad's have to spend "quality time" with their kids, right?
15. I hated dating, for the most part, but learned a very important thing. If a woman prefers wine that comes in a bottle with a screw-off cap, likes country music a little too much and still believes wrestling is one of the greatest things going, the best thing to do is run away from her. Far away.
16. I hope the person responsible for daylight savings time is rotting in hell. Losing that hour of sleep messes me up for a couple of weeks, and I won't even mention the joy of trying to get small children in bed when it's still a bit light outside.
17. I also hope the person responsible for shrink wrap is rotting in hell. Further, I hope that person has been sentenced to an eternity of opening DVDs and compact discs which have been sealed in shrink wrap.
18. I wish I had taken the time to learn to speak Spanish.
19. I love the History Channel, and particularly enjoy programs about World War II. If I see black and white footage of Allied soldiers shooting at Germans or Japanese, I'll sit down and watch every time.
20. I've always thought good names for cats are Meow Tse Tung, Ol' Scratch, Rasputin or Clawful. We have four cats, and my wife hasn't let me apply an "ideal name" to any of them.
21. Reserved for the boring, personal stuff. I'm 6'0", 175 pounds and blond with blue eyes. I'm now taking bets on whether my hair will turn gray or fall out first. I have no piercings or blasted "body art." I haven't hit anyone since I was 12-years-old, although I've been tempted regularly since then (resisting 21 years of temptation is good, isn't it?)
Well, that's enough vain rambling. For the first part of this thing, go right here.
For more details about the write-off (in case you want to submit one) and a list of participants, visit right here.
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Epinions.com ID:
HawgWyld
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 - Top 200 |
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Member: Ethan C. Nobles
Location: Benton, Ark.
Reviews written: 1438
Trusted by: 495 members
About Me:
The oxen are slow, but the earth is patient.
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