An Ode To The Odious Undies Apr 27 '03    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet Popular Products in Books Mildred D. Taylor - Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry: A Literature Unit From $8 Olivier Dunrea - Ollie From $7 The Bottom Line The Bottom Line is where it's at, baby. I hate you, I loathe you I’m filled with disgust For you pinch and you bind And yet wear you I must You creep where you shouldn’t Your elastic is cheap Your underwires are torture When they poke me I weep (I once received, as a Christmas gift from my mother-in-law, a pair of bright pink underwear with the word bloomies emblazoned across the back) Your varieties are endless At every store You go on for miles Torture galore You come in nice colors But it’s only a guise That leopard print thong It brings tears to my eyes (My daughter, then age three, announced, in a crowded department store, in a high, loud and perfectly articulated voice “Mom, you have a red arm pit holder just like that one!” Anatomy lessons had clearly not yet begun.) For guys there are boxers or briefs Not much more Well, a thong just for Chad But he likes it, I’m sure But for girls, it is endless! Silk, satin or lace Bikinis with patterns All over the place There’s teddies, and nighties And cute little sets And bustiers and garters And hose with fishnets Not to mention the undies! The bras and the slips! The slinky p.j.s that Ride low on the hips! (I have a friend with whom I shop. When we enter the undies department, one or the other of us will invariably hold up the most hideous thing we can find, and say in a loud voice “Look, I found one just like yours!” Maturity is highly over rated.) The sorriest fact Of these various garments Is that they’re all under cover The dastardly varmints So few people know Of the burden we bear To gussy all up In sublime underwear It would be much easier And cheaper as well To wear plain white cotton Or go au naturel...... This is my contribution to Mimi369’s Underwear W/O. The general idea being to review an undergarment of some kind. Or alternatively, discuss underwear in a more general way. While tortured verse was not specifically noted as an option, I chose to toss caution to the wind. For all the other fine participants go here. Thanks to Mimi, our gracious hostess!

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