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Awesome (Reply to this comment)
by nicolega2001
Very simply, I just wanted to say that your experience was amazing. I greatly enjoyed reading the piece.
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Jan 07 '06
1:29 am PST
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Re: Nicely done! (Reply to this comment)
by jps246
*Blush* Thanks
I'm sure that you have plenty to be proud of!
Jeff
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Jul 01 '03
9:41 am PDT
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Nicely done! (Reply to this comment)
by artbyjude
It almost makes me wish I was gay so I would have something to be proud of.
Jude
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Jun 30 '03
1:58 pm PDT
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Re: Yes - (Reply to this comment)
by jps246
Thank you, I really appreciate the kind words :)
Jeff
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Jun 25 '03
6:10 am PDT
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Yes - (Reply to this comment)
by Granniemose
More power to you. A great article about a brave young man.
Virginia
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Jun 24 '03
7:28 am PDT
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Re: Applaud Applaud Applaud (Reply to this comment)
by jps246
Who's to say homosexuality is the alternative life style and not heterosexuals?
Oh My God - Wouldn't that just be great! I'd love to be up at those pearly gates when some homophobic redneck bigot appears and I'm like...you were just on the wrong side weren't you.
Perhaps in some strange way heterosexuals are just around to propagate the species and homosexuals are around to innovate and make the world a fabulous place because we don't need to worry about procreation.
Thanks for the kudos on the review!
Jeff
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Jun 16 '03
8:49 am PDT
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Re: ... (Reply to this comment)
by jps246
I've never understood why being gay is an issue at all when you meet someone. Just like the color of their skin, or so many other things
Here, here! I really wish that this was the way that the world could be. Sometimes it gets really old when you need to "explain" yourself just because you are gay. Hey, I'm still a person first and foremost, so everything else (except if I were a serial killer I guess) should bother anyone.
If we ever get to that point, then you know that the world has gotten to a better place.
Jeff
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Jun 16 '03
8:46 am PDT
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Applaud Applaud Applaud (Reply to this comment)
by SurgRN911
Jeff, this is one fantastic piece. As I read this I recalled instances many moons ago, where even friends even expected of living an alternative lifestyle, which that phrase raises my blood pressure alone were singled out in school, banned from school sport teams, and just plain treated miserably. By teachers, parents, other students and clergy.
Who's to say homosexuality is the alternative life style and not heterosexuals? Not me! To me it's not about the choices you make, but what you do with those choices. Black skin does not make you worse than white, Catholic no closer to God than Baptists, nor Gay more mentally ill then Straight.
When the world accepts and embraces diversity, then we will truly be living in love.
Such a well written review, Kudos to you and your willingness to take a stand. Regardless each person should take PRIDE in who they are.
Thanks you for joining the W/O and entering such a worthy review.
Di
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Jun 13 '03
5:22 am PDT
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... (Reply to this comment)
by dramastef
I've never understood why being gay is an issue at all when you meet someone. Just like the color of their skin, or so many other things. Now someone being a serial killer? That might be an issue. I take that back, I suppose there is one issue. I have been known to wish that a particular friend weren't gay, because I believe he's my soul mate, but something got screwed up: either he wasn't supposed to be gay, or I wasn't supposed to be a woman.
Seriously, congratulations on that stand you took. I wish I would have been there to offer my support. I hope all the creek jumping homophobes got pneumonia!
xoxo,
~Stefanie
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Jun 12 '03
8:10 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: * (Reply to this comment)
by jps246
You said I tend to agree with you but I still find it fascinating to this day the different trials and tribulations we have all been through in an attempt to simply love who you love.
I think in the end this is what makes our community such a wonderful, strong and diverse group that can accomplish so much. We all have so many backgrounds and stories that we come from and we all bring that to the table for everyone else around us. Thus it's not just our experience making us stronger, but the experiences of everyone in our community working together.
Plus it sure makes those pride day parades interesting, doesn't it?
Jeff
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Jun 12 '03
5:06 am PDT
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Re: . (Reply to this comment)
by jps246
Thanks!
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Jun 12 '03
5:04 am PDT
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. (Reply to this comment)
by munkus
Dude, this was great.
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Jun 11 '03
7:05 am PDT
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Re: Re: * (Reply to this comment)
by Psychovant
Jeff -
You said: "It's a gradual process and I think that it goes back to the "pride is not being ashamed of who you are," thing. It took me a long time to be truly comfortable being gay (hell, I even had trouble holding my boyfriend's hand in Provincetown of all places when we first knew each other), but now that I am, I am secure enough to not be ashamed at all."
Generally speaking I tend to agree with you but I still find it fascinating to this day the different trials and tribulations we have all been through in an attempt to simply love who you love.
When I finally realized what was going on in my life and talked with my mother about it she chose to use it as a weapon (blackmail if you will) threatening to "tell my Grandparents and family" if I didn't do, say, think what she wanted. I was youngish and hadn't been too far from my family at the time and I let her keep her boot on my neck for quite a few years until my Grandmother and I had a talk about all of the female friends that she had met and the blatant lack of male friends. She simply taught me about her belief in unconditional love, gave me a hug that will never be matched by anyone in this lifetime, and told me she would always love me.
I think I stood up a little straighter, smiled a little brighter, and started holding my girlfriends hand a little bit tighter after that.
One person can make a difference - good or bad. A smile or a wink can change someones day from good to bad (and vice versa). Acceptance and unconditional love can mean the world to someone who has never experienced it. It sounds so easy when typing ...
Thank you for joining us this year. This was a wonderful read.
Shannon ...
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Jun 08 '03
4:00 pm PDT
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Re: * (Reply to this comment)
by jps246
Hi Jack
Thanks for the comments. I'd have to say that probably nowadays, I prescribe more to the "I'm gay, but that's just part of me, than all of me," camp. I think in college, I had just come out, the atmosphere there wasn't all that great, and I was of that mindset that I wanted to "make a difference," so I set out to do that.
It's probably that way with everyone - I've found with any LGB friends, when we first come out, we're all gung ho and we want the world to recognize and accept our queerness, but as we get older, we realize that it's more of just a facet of our lives, instead of our entire lives.
I don't want to be known as that "gay" environmental scientist, just an environmental scientist, or as someone's "gay" friend, I just want to be their friend.
It's a gradual process and I think that it goes back to the "pride is not being ashamed of who you are," thing. It took me a long time to be truly comfortable being gay (hell, I even had trouble holding my boyfriend's hand in Provincetown of all places when we first knew each other), but now that I am, I am secure enough to not be ashamed at all. I'm not going to run from rooftop to rooftop proclaiming my gayness, but if you are going to ask me, or if you get to know me, you'll know about it (unless you are one of those clueless girls who never seem to realize that a man could be gay).
Jeff
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Jun 07 '03
6:57 pm PDT
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* (Reply to this comment)
by jackai
Pride is a personal realization, I think it’s the point when you realize that you really are queer, that you really are different and that you are not afraid to stand up and let the world know that.
This was a great essay and I admire the courage you demonstrated. Unlike you, I admit that I adopt a more conservative route when it comes to asserting my queerness. A friend of mine once said, "My being gay is a fact of which I'm neither proud nor ashamed. It's just that: a fact. Can we move on?" I always liked that edict, if you can call it that. There's an implied acceptance of self without having to flaunt your sexuality. To drum up a god-awful cliche, if someone asks, I tell. If they don't ask, it'll come out anyway once you get to know me better. Besides, I've always found that to be more educational since it's harder to hate someone once you get to know and like them. And if someone doesn't like me, it certainly won't be because I'm gay.
Of course, this drums up a whole host of issues with which the gay community has been grappling ever since our visibility became more pronounced in the past decade; mainly do we keep ourselves separate by clearly defining our "otherness" or do we assimilate, adopt mainstream values and become accepted into them at the cost of what makes us so unique. I can spin this comment into its own essay since so many underlying issues are involved, but suffice it to say that I'm not ashamed that I'm gay even though I don't celebrate it. I guess you could say my slogan is, "I'm here, I'm queer, but if you wanna get used to it, then that's up to you."
Best,
Jack
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Jun 06 '03
7:16 am PDT
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Re: %...% (Reply to this comment)
by jps246
Thanks! Looking back on it I think that it's amazing that we managed to pull it off and I'm glad that we did.
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Jun 05 '03
7:30 pm PDT
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My Father Use To Say...... (Reply to this comment)
by ruby950
Sometimes you need to put your pride in your pocket. I know that you are glad that you did not while in college. Very interesting story, and you sound like a very interesting individual as well!
My best,
Deborah~
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Jun 03 '03
8:32 pm PDT
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Re: ... (Reply to this comment)
by jps246
Back when Vermont was considering the entire civil union issue there was a campaign started by the more conservative citizens that was called "Take Back Vermont." It was basically a big laugh among everyone else - exactly what were you taking Vermont back from? Ignorance is very scary and it seems that our country has more than its fair share of it.
The best part was that before the real Take Back Vermont people thought of it, one of the pro-civil union groups bought the "TakeBackVermont" domain on the net - so when you looked it up - it was actually all pro civil union material.
I think that one goes beyond ignorance to stupidity...but nothing more dangerous than an ignorant, stupid homophobe...
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Jun 03 '03
4:55 pm PDT
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Re: Re: A question... (Reply to this comment)
by jps246
Ah, stupid homophobes...they're always out there aren't they? Sort of like the algae that grows on the tops of ponds.
I was more curious than anything - I didn't know you could hide your name from when you rated a review.
Jeff
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Jun 03 '03
12:49 pm PDT
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Re: A question... (Reply to this comment)
by ed_grover
I've gotten them and I bet that every person on Epinions who is gay or has written about a gay topic has gotten them. These ratings are from the homophobes on the site who are afraid to reveal themselves. They're really afraid of being reported to abuse and of getting blocked or getting NH ratings in revenge. Ignore the bastards and get on with your life.
You can set all your parameters for the site by looking at that list at the left of your profile page. I find it better to reveal everything, then no one can accuse you of being secretive.
The hate never stops,
Ed
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Jun 03 '03
9:45 am PDT
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Re: A question... (Reply to this comment)
by sarahalm
Yeah, I got a hidden "NH" once too. I think that's about the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. To my mind, either you hold your opinions strongly enough that you are willing to express them openly and unabashedly, or they're not important enough to express. This anonymous stuff is baloney.
Sarah
PS: I laughed out loud at the mental picture of homophobes with wet socks crossing the stream instead of the bridge!!!
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Jun 02 '03
7:08 am PDT
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A question... (Reply to this comment)
by jps246
I noticed that there's a "hidden" vote for not helpful on this - how does one go "hiding" themselves and voting on things here? Doesn't exactly seem to be fair or sporting? If you don't like the w/o, just don't vote on it. Don't go around skulking in the shadows voting "not helpful."
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Jun 02 '03
7:00 am PDT
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You were a brave bunch . . . (Reply to this comment)
by ed_grover
to go out and do what you did. When you say Pride is a personal realization, I think it’s the point when you realize that you really are queer, that you really are different and that you are not afraid to stand up and let the world know that . . . that it's very important for people to know what some of us go through.
When I was at college in the early 1950s there was no such thing as the Gay/Straight Alliance or any support groups of any kind. How fortunate the youth of today are to have that. It took me a long time to come out publicly, but when I did I did it in print and with the pride that I knew who I was and wasn't afraid of what other people thought. I have tried to do the same on this site.
Thanks, Jeff, for joining the 2003 Pride write-off and for letting us in on your experiences to get some recognition for everyone in your LGBTQ community. Have a wonderful time at Boston Pride this year and always.
Ed
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Jun 01 '03
4:51 pm PDT
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