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too funny! (Reply to this comment)
by rrer
Informative, I suppose, but OMG just hilarious. Great writeup!
Thanks.
ROTFLMAO
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Apr 21 '06
10:46 am PDT
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Hi There (Reply to this comment)
by antybean
I can't believe it took me this long to find this review, but I'm glad I did. This is right up my alley...now if I only had someone willing to comply. Great review!
Beaner
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Aug 25 '03
9:19 pm PDT
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Blindsided (Reply to this comment)
by KnightRT
This is the first thing I've read from you.. and I made the mistake of skimming. Somewhere between 'nod of recognition' and 'artificial penis', I choked on an ice cube.
First time for everything. Very entertaining.
DI
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Jun 19 '03
11:26 pm PDT
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hey there... (Reply to this comment)
by sleeper54
..
stockie already answered my burning question...
75 degrees ?? I am used to body-temp insertions for my tool. I am not sure how I would 'stand-up' to 75 degrees. And I certainly don't do the grape jelly straight from the fridge. I always microwave it to a temperature that approaches normal body cavity temp. And I always clean it up before I put it back in the fridge...
my favorite line?...
" 'Looks fine,' she said. . ."
Geeze, if I had a dime for every time some 'lady' told me that I could maybe buy a cup-o-coffee...
Very..nicely..done !!
...tom...
"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time." —Robin Williams
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Jun 14 '03
2:41 pm PDT
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lmfao (Reply to this comment)
by sunstreeks
Forget taking pictures of your hunny when going away on vacation. Just take the part you like best about him!!!
stephanie
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Jun 13 '03
6:30 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: confused (Reply to this comment)
by kris-kochanski
this was mad brilliant. kind of like reading about someone's out of body experience, but less New Agey and more fun.
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Jun 11 '03
8:23 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Re: confused (Reply to this comment)
by Mr.Eyore
Oh that.
Well, somehow (I can't imagine how) it came to the attention of epinions management that a di!do review had been erroneously -- and probably maliciously -- placed in the "What You Should Know About Religious Websites" category. New bully wrangler Garrett Gonzales politely asked if we could perhaps find a more appropriate place for the review. When we were unable to do that, he was kind enough to transfer the entire review and comments to the next best thing: Right here. in the Writer's Corner.
But don't for a second let that make you think that this here isn't a real, live di!ldo-making product, stockholder.
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Jun 11 '03
7:25 pm PDT
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Re: Re: confused (Reply to this comment)
by stockholder
I'm talking about how did you get the classic "The Doppelwanger" in the new release section AND keep all of your comments and rating.
I know all about sticking my cocknballs in a jar of goop.
stockholder
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Jun 11 '03
3:33 pm PDT
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Loved it before - love it now. (Reply to this comment)
by sundogg99
The review. Not your doppelthingy or its inspirational charter member, which are, I'm sure, just fine, but hey, what I'm saying here is, I'm kind of thinking, you know, how many commas can a person semi-seriously insert in a sentence?
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Jun 11 '03
3:29 pm PDT
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Arousing. Violently Arousing. (Reply to this comment)
by Teykaerts
I've never had so much fun thinking about your junk, Eyore. I mean, it's always been a good time and all, but this just took it to another level. Great review, but the big question is: does your girlfriend no longer need you?
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Jun 11 '03
7:42 am PDT
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Quick question, (Reply to this comment)
by aashok
Does this fall under Restaurants or Gourmet category?
AA
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Jun 11 '03
7:13 am PDT
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Re: confused (Reply to this comment)
by Mr.Eyore
I thought I made it pretty clear in the review, Stockholder:
First you stick your dick in a cup full of goop ...
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Jun 11 '03
5:50 am PDT
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confused (Reply to this comment)
by stockholder
How did you do this?
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Jun 10 '03
7:03 pm PDT
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now this is some fly a$$ consumer sh!t (Reply to this comment)
by brotherman
hearing about the moulding of your dick embiggened my experience as an epinions consumer.
Seriously.
I would add a tacky unwarranted ethnic dick joke but Im too stoned to think of one right now.
Brotherman
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Jun 10 '03
6:00 pm PDT
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EUREKA! (Reply to this comment)
by oldcomixfan
Mr.Eyore,
Paper mache! Why the hell didn't I think of that?
I owe ya big time! Off to the hardware store for me.
OCF
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Jun 10 '03
5:22 pm PDT
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Re: Re: I wish I could give this a MH (Reply to this comment)
by redwolfoz
And I wanted a novelty coat hook too.
Unfortunately the kit is a tad too expensive for the amusement value of scaring friends and relatives.
Then there's the front door itself. The design of which means the novelty coat would have to be mounted around groin height. While this is possibly more amusing, it is easily accessible by the dogs. And I wouldn't want all that hard work to end up as a chew toy.
Red Wolf
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May 30 '03
8:14 pm PDT
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Re: Hi, (Reply to this comment)
by Mr.Eyore
Yeah, thanks Lisa, but I already tried that route, and eps won't add the site, in spite of the fact that several similar sites are already in the database.
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May 15 '03
11:15 am PDT
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Hi, (Reply to this comment)
by Lisa_J
I would like to suggest submiting a request for the site -- makeyourown_____.com -- to be added to the database, and then place this review there. Although you are certainly correct "When looking for sex toys, unless you get off on Jesus Action Figures, religion sites are probably the wrong place to go", you didn't tell me much about religious sites. But I am sure you already knew that. ;)
Regardless, this review is full of information about the mentioned site, and most insightful with regard to making your replica.
Yikes, you probably deserve an award for bravery!
Take care~~~
Lisa
PS -- The site wouldn't allow me to spell the site properly, I received the red line.
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May 15 '03
8:52 am PDT
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yup (Reply to this comment)
by garym
"And 3 days later, the boxes arrived"
Thats the part I want to hear about. Is there a "make your own box.com"¿
Gary
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May 14 '03
9:51 am PDT
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So ... (Reply to this comment)
by Thorbjore
If someone orders something from Adam & Eve that has Don Johnson's signature upon it, does that mean he, too -- the hot pink t-shirt with white blazer wonder -- has endured this?
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May 04 '03
11:53 am PDT
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More info needed. (Reply to this comment)
by prfstars
Someday I'm going to find a context in which I can use doppelwanger and pass it off as my own. Word, I mean. Not dick.
However.
This is a dildo. You have not said one word about its penetrative abilities or ease of cleaning.
Well?
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Apr 29 '03
6:53 pm PDT
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Re: I knew this was in the works (Reply to this comment)
by Mr.Eyore
That's too, too much, Steve. While I appreciate, wallow in, and deserve much praise, the Nathsmom Spinal Tap review stands as the shining beacon of brilliance to which we can strive, but never equal.
Or something along those lines that actually has good syntax.
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Apr 28 '03
11:03 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: In the interests of PC-ness (Reply to this comment)
by Mr.Eyore
What an excellent idea Margaret! When I make the second one, I will be sure to do that.
I think the lord would approve.
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Apr 28 '03
11:01 am PDT
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I knew this was in the works (Reply to this comment)
by sundogg99
And although I had high expectations, you've exceeded them. This is classic Eyore stuff - self-deprecating, erudite, and sidesplittingly funny - I think you've ensconced yourself up there with natesmom's Spinal Tap review and with Hard_To_Please's Great Grocery writeoff contribution.
Caramba!
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Apr 28 '03
10:37 am PDT
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Re: Re: In the interests of PC-ness (Reply to this comment)
by Penguinlady
Well, it seems they thought of everything - just what I'd expect from a recommended website...
And in response to another comment about nailing it inside the door as a coathook, you might also consider nailing it to the doorpost as a mezzuzah. If you shove a drinking straw into the mold before filling it, you'll have just enough room to insert a tiny scroll.
Carry on.
Margaret
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Apr 28 '03
10:26 am PDT
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Re: ... (Reply to this comment)
by Mr.Eyore
You're welcome Nate.
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Apr 27 '03
7:23 pm PDT
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Re: In the interests of PC-ness (Reply to this comment)
by Mr.Eyore
Well Margaret, since you asked, I'll quote from the instructions:
ADVANCED MOLDERS: For the ultimate in realism ...
To CHANGE THE COLOR of your d!ldo simply add a TINY dab of ANY oil based paint. A drop is TOO MUCH!! (notice epinions style multiple exclamation points) The end of a toothpick dipped into the paint will do. Dab this into the rubber mixture BEFORE pouring it into your mold and you can make your d!ldo ANY color you wish!
Make a more PURPLE HEAD by mising together a tablespoon-sized amount of each liquid with a TINY dab of violet oil color and pour this into your mold FIRST. THEN pour in the regular mixture. The 'head' will be more life like! OR try adding purple or blue string to the rubber before it cures. This simulates veins under the skin! WOW!
Any more questions?
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Apr 27 '03
7:21 pm PDT
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Re: I wish I could give this a MH (Reply to this comment)
by Mr.Eyore
Seriously, that's one of the best lines I've ever read on Epinions.
Thanks for the reacharound Becky. God knows I need it.
But if your makeyourownd!ldo is in your house, what good is it doing? Uh, wait, don't answer that. ;)
Well, I actually thought about nailing it to the inside of the front door as a coat hook.
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Apr 27 '03
7:14 pm PDT
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Re: The Shankbone's Connected To The..... (Reply to this comment)
by Mr.Eyore
Your mother appears in some strange reviews. Have you spoken to your therapist about this?
Well, Glenn, the hope was that she wouldn't show up in this review for more than the first three paragraphs. And yes, I almost did have to go back into therapy after the "cow town vibrating chair incident". Fortunately, these sorts of events have been confined to my adulthood. There's nothing untoward and sexual from my childhood that needs to be dealt with.
Except for that Pierce Brosnan Biography thing.
if the item in question falls off your computer monitor you're in trouble. Maybe you should make a bunch of them and stash them all over the house so there's always one available when needed. When would that be?
Yeah, it's actually boxed up for mailing now. It was causing me nightmares and stuff. What with it staring down at me like that, all curious-like, I kept wanting to yell, "What Mofo! What do you want to know! Quit staring at me."
I like my fried matzoh with jelly. How about you?
Cinnamon and Sugar, back in the days I ate that Matzo Brie crap. Jelly is now retired from my diet altogether.
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Apr 27 '03
7:11 pm PDT
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In the interests of PC-ness (Reply to this comment)
by Penguinlady
What color is the goop you replicated yourself with? Do people of other melanin persuasions have the same oportunities?
I'm sitting here thinking about... oh, forget it!
Margaret
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Apr 27 '03
4:56 pm PDT
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