The Manly Write-Off: Will You Listen To Your Father's Voice?
Jun 13 '03
The Bottom Line My life would have been changed dramatically if I had listened to my father's voice 23 years ago, but thank God when I did finally listen it still did!
In honor of my father, for Father's Day, I would like to submit this true story of his unconditional love for me.
Twenty-three years ago, a bride stood at the end of a church aisle and stood at a cross roads of her life.
She looked back and thought a while before taking a step. She thought about her current life and pondered what she should do. All of this time she had lived at home and while home was pleasant, she felt that she was not accepted there in her own identity. Her mother was overly controlling and critical and it seemed that every time she tried to create her own identity, that it was always being criticized because that's just not the way you should "be". But she didn't really know how else she could be except for what she dreamed, and it seemed that every dream that she had ever dared to dream had been dashed either by harsh professors at school or scoffed by her mother in some way.
As she looked forward at the end of the aisle she saw her groom. Sure he was not the best guy in the world I suppose but he did say he loved her and he was funny, and more than that she found some refuge within his family who appeared to accept her as she was. She had dated him for almost 6 years and thought she knew him, but at this point in time knowing she was going to spend the rest of her life with this man, she wondered -- did she really know him at all? He was critical of her as well, just not as badly as her mother was. Would being married change him at all to be the all loving dream husband she always wanted? Would she have the happy family filed with children?
As though he could read her mind, her father reached out for her arm and placed it into his. Looking deeply into her eyes, he spoke softly and told her, "You know you don't have to go through with this if you don't want to. If you want to turn around and leave right now, and run away, I won't stop you or try to talk you out of it. Just do what you feel your heart is saying right now and I'll support you in whatever your decision will be."
As she looked into his eyes, she could see the resounding depths of his unconditional love, but being at the moment she was really afraid to even believe the words that he spoke to her. They sounded too "good" to be true, that she could just decide against all of this and walk away and she would be safe from all harm. As tears came to her eyes, she turned her body toward the aisle, and began walking with her father holding her along the way.
Deep within her she felt that she was making a mistake, but she was too scared to think of what the other ramifications would be from her mother if she took off down the aisle and ran away. Fear of others' thoughts tore into her as she felt helpless to even realize if what she was doing was right.
Standing before the pastor and priest, she didn't even remember anything about the ceremony except that it was over very fast, and as the service ended and reality began, she realized within the next few months and years that she had not married the love of her life, or even God's chosen one for her life but an unsaved man who used the Bible as a weapon for more abuse than she ever thought of before.
Still she remembered the unconditional love of her father as he gave her that choice before she took that one step to walk down the aisle. Would he still love her now even after she had made this horrible mistake and had wasted 13 years of her life? Would he still give her refuge in her time of need to escape from the bonds of sin that she and her children now had fallen into? Was there still hope?
A phone call away and the answer was known. Come home he said, and we'll take care of you and help you as much as we can. And as she made a decision to come home, she realized the depths of this unconditional love went beyond anything that she had ever known in her life.
Well, for those of you who have not figured this out, I am actually talking about myself here. See, Friday the 6th would have been my 23rd wedding anniversary if I would have remained married. The story that I just wrote here is true and actually happened, and unfortunately I made a wrong choice that day that changed my entire life.
However, at the time of my marriage I really was not saved so I didn't really understand what God's will was for my life. And I really didn't understand what real love was within me until I asked the Lord to live within my heart. But I remember my father's voice really giving me this last chance to break away from everything and not fall into the depths of sin that I went into when I got married, and I have always wondered why it is that I didn't listen to him. And I've come to the realization that it wasn't really "he" that I really didn't listen to at that time -- it was the voice of the Lord within him that I didn't listen to.
You know, God just wants us to be happy and have a long life secure in His will. And all of this time before I got married, I had heard all of this stuff about God's will and it all sounded like a bunch of rules and constrictions becaue that was the way it was presented to me. To me it seemed too much like my mother controlling me, and the idea of God controlling me turned me off. Little did I know that I was falling more into the will of satan by being married and falling into lower self esteem, abuse, and living in fear and rejection instead.
Sometimes when we've quit listening to the Lord we tend to forget that we are the ones that have gotten ourselves into a particular situation and it wasn't God's will at all! He didn't want me sad or abused, he wanted to bless me and love me, and like my earthly father, I rejected Him because I really didn't understand.
However, like my earthly father, when I finally came to myself and realize that He was the only way that I could ever survive, I beckoned to His "come home" where I was received with total unconditional love and he washed away all of the past pain until I was as white as snow.
Since then I have often wondered what would have happened if I would have listened to God's voice that time when I stood at the end of the altar. Surely my life would have been much different than it currently is now. But regardless, I know that when I finally listened to my Father's voice, He was there to pick me up and heal my heart and soul.
So, as I close tonight, I must ask you something..... Will you listen to Your Father's Voice?
CeCe
Note: This is a true story that I have written in honor of my earthly father and my Heavenly father and is part of the Manly Write-off sponsored by Joubert and Hawgwyld. For a list of submissions, please go to (http://www.angelfire.com/mb2/mypageontheweb/page9.html).
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