ShopInPrivate: Your Store For Vaginal Weights, Anal Bleaching Cream & Sensual Pyrex Products
Written: Mar 18, 2007 (Updated Apr 25, 2008)
I am going to have to go out on a limb here and assume that most people will never find themselves in the following situation. You are on your way to a party for a female friend that is getting married and you forgot to swing by your local adult bookstore to pick up some gifts. If you have read any of my previous reviews you know that I have two sets of friends; the soccer moms and the non-breeders. When a non-breeder enters the holy and sacred bond of matrimony we always make sure that she is well armed for the honeymoon. Whether or not she chooses to take said items with her is her choice but we can't say that we slacked in the least in preparing her for the event. ShopInPrivate is a site that I have used more than a few times but I do wonder why someone would be embarrassed to purchase some of the things that they sell. Come on, hair dye? Tongue scrapers? Nose trimmers? Diet Pills? Why would anyone ever have reservations about buying such items? I guess everyone has their reasons for being shy about certain products and that's why I love this site.
Don't Worry, Be Happy!
There are things at the site that I would never consider embarrassing to buy; razors, hair removers, sex toys .. you get the general idea. Not much shocks the freak. So why would I want to shop at a site like this? It's the fact that I can order things for myself or others without having to deal with snickers or clerks that never get over hearing a woman ask for a vibrator. Walk into 80% of adult book stores and ask them about a product that they sell and they aren't going to know much about it. If you ever have a question or concern with anything that ShopInPrivate sells, you can call or email them for more information. Imagine walking into the adult book store, grabbing a product called "Nympho's Desire Arousal Balm" and walking up to the counter to ask them how long it lasts. You are either going to get asked out on a date or given a blank stare.
ShopInPrivate respects your privacy, your name will never end up on a mailing list nor will you be bombarded with spam or unwanted emails. They carry everything from adult sex toys to condoms, gag gifts [get your minds out of the gutter] to hygiene needs and lots of stuff in between. Navigating around the site is easy thanks to the main headers on the left hand side of the page but that isn't it; once you select something to browse, you will be given even more options on the search result pages. More related categories and items, all with color photos and text descriptions. If you need acne cream, vacuum pumps, ejaculation delay products or even something as basic as a lubrication gel and you are too embarrassed to buy them locally, this is the site to shop at.
You're So Full of Sh*t, You're Eyes Are Brown!
If you have ever thrown that term around then consider dropping some cash on the largest roll of toilet paper you will ever see the amazing, jaw dropping Pillow Soft Sh*t Be Gone! I ordered some of this as a joke for a friend and he loved it. He drives a truck for a living and routinely complains about not having toilet paper in the truck; now that he has a roll or two of this with him, he can freely dump mud where ever he wants without worrying about cleaning up the mess. Yes, that is gross but hey, feces is never a pretty subject. There are more than a few 'gag' items at the site but there are some that could be considered a complete embarrassment if you had to walk up to a pharmacy and ask for them. Even so, the toilet paper is something that still makes me laugh and my friend says that it's softer than Cottonelle or Charmin. I'll take his word for it though.
Good Lord, I Really Need Some Anal Bleaching Cream!
Have you ever thought that your anus looked a little on the dark side or that it could use a little lightening? Well, I don't spend a tremendous amount of time pondering the subject but apparently my friends do. When I was looking through the site and saw this product I spit coffee all over the place then I remembered that one of the stripper girls [don't ask, she's a great customer] was asking us if we knew where to get any. Knowing that she comes in the shop at least once a month for ink, I decided to order her a container. Hey, it was only ten bucks and if it helped her whiten her "tract" [her term, not mine], so be it. I passed on seeing the results of the product and took her word that it worked. Anal Bleaching Cream is just one of the many embarrassing items that the site sells. Personally if I were looking for a product like this to use on my body
I doubt that asking for it at a store or shop would be my biggest concern. Getting it on and off in the allotted time frame would be the top issue on my mind.
The Man Catcher Voodoo Kit
Go Ahead And Laugh
When I was placing an order at the site, I came across this and thought it was the funniest thing on the planet. A great friend of mine was close to hitting thirty and was complaining that she hadn't met "Mr. Right" so I ordered one of these gag items for her. Either it was just what she needed to boost her self esteem or it really worked but two weeks after I gave it to her, she met a guy and they hit it off. That was about five months ago and they are now engaged and getting married this spring. So go ahead and laugh if you want, chalk it up to an eerie coincidence or a kinky karmic twist
she's happy, he's happy and they are having a blast with some others items I ordered for them from the site.
510 East 10 Mile Road
Hazel Park, MI 48030
Customer service is something that they pride themselves on at ShopInPrivate.
You have a thirty day return period for items ordered through the site; they stand behind what they sell and want to make sure that you are happy with what you have received. This does included opened items so please, if you are returning something that you have used, have the common decency to clean it or package it so that no one else has to touch it. When I had to return something I was a little hesitant about the process; I mean a lot of companies say that they will accept things back but when you mail them in, they make you jump trough hoops to get a refund or exchange. Much to my surprise, I got an email letting me know that my item was received and they would be sending out a replacement item that day. A few days later I got the replacement in the mail and a phone call later that afternoon asking me if I did indeed receive it.
The Bottom Line
With free shipping on orders over $75.00, this is a place that I really enjoy ordering from because I know that my satisfaction is guaranteed. They sell a variety of things that you maybe otherwise be embarrassed to purchase in a store or at a pharmacy and the novelty gifts greatly outnumber what Spencer's Gifts has to offer. Questions are answered quickly, returns and exchanges are handled promptly and they really do have your satisfaction at the top of the list. This isn't what I would consider an 'all ages' type of site because not many teens or tweens are going to be interested in what they have to sell. I've never come across any nudity at the site but there are a number of adult items listed so this isn't something that you are going to want to let the kids see.
As always, thanks for the visit
~^V^~ Freak ~^V^~
© 2007 Freak369
Rip N Roll Condoms
And the naughty bits and pieces
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