~ An Unwanted Morning ~
Jun 27 '03
The Bottom Line .....................................
Eyes open
Sweat develops alongside the bends of her face;
Remembering that the forecast predicted a sweltering afternoon
she hates the day already..........
The radio alarm threw her into the sickening familiarity of an unwanted morning
to the tune of 1960’s bubble-gummy pop
-- When I woke up this morning, you were on my mind --
telling her of what she was painfully aware of
-- yea, you were on my mind ---
Reminding her of what she suffered
Last night
--- I’ve got troubles, whoa-oh ---
She loves him
--- I’ve got worries, whoa-oh ---
But he could never make his mind up concerning her
--- I’ve got wounds to bind ---
Her heart, kicked around like a soccer ball
Bruises darkened over the surface of her soul
Penetrating deeper over time
So last night,
She drank so as to dull the pain
But the bruises doubled in intensity the morning after
The heat
The hangover
The aches in her stomach
And her heart
...... why did I wake up?
Switch off the goddamn radio;
Don’t need any sappy songs to remind me of my misery........
She gets out of bed
To observe her reflection
across the mirrors’ length
All opinions are subjective
But her feelings felt like objective truth to her........
The voices that surround her
Tell her how gorgeous she is
How sexy God made her
Tell her what they would love to experience with her
Above the mattress, beneath the sheets, within the shadows of the bedroom
She absorbs the praise
She doesn’t deny their words
..... the words caress the human need
for affection, for companionship.....
But she can’t spy behind their eyes
And read the text of their souls
Just as they can’t read
The many chapters of the novel that is her........
Everything fought within her
As she stood for an eternity facing the mirror
But why should anybody worry -- nobody got hurt
..... except for herself.........
She didn’t think she was gorgeous
She saw nothing but the flaws
The flaws that everybody failed to acknowledge
In the pursuit of wanting to know the erotic portion of her soul
She believed that she failed
He seemed to take her for granted
-- to spend time with her when it arose, rather than making time for her --
The humid air made her body uncomfortable, as uncomfortable as her soul.......
Dive into a frigid pool
Ease the discomfort of her skin, her body
Sink to the bottom
And never come up for air
..... then the rest of her discomfort would float away
A spark of heat-induced agony
Forced her to consider such dark thoughts...........
The reflection only showed her the wounds
The wounds that nobody could see
That some eyes may not bear to see
Or be interested in seeing ........
But the reactions of others
could not erase those scars
It hurts when she moves
When things spiral out of control within her heart
Even when she tries to deny their existence
They return with a vengeance, opening up and bleeding even more strongly.
Why?
Why?
Why did life write this story for her?
A woman whom both jealous and admiring eyes
figure to be a woman who has it all, who is happy beyond measure
...... but she knows better......
Sure, it wasn’t all hell
But everyone else only wants to hear about the heaven
Hoping that the hell will go away........
......but she has the wounds
the bottles of tears she shed
And the two divorces to prove that her hell does exist.........
She isn’t a young, naive woman anymore
She only wants to walk on a terrain
not littered with landmines of the heart
....... she’s too old to deal with this shit any longer........
She doesn’t deserve to grow old
And die alone
Unloved
Misunderstood
All she wants
Is for someone to call her Honey
To call her Babe
To call her Sweetheart
To call her Soulmate
To call her Friend...........
To say that I love you
To say that I’ll never leave you
To say that I’ll never take you for granted
To say that I’ll never play with your head
To say that I love all the stuff that makes you you..........
...... and never create a shred of doubt.
It isn’t complicated
All she wants
is for him to make her feel appreciated
To feel loved
For who she is
Not for what he wants her to give him at a moment’s notice
Someone who can help her
Bandage the wounds
that nobody else ever bothered to tend to
Bind them, carefully easing them to heal, to disappear once and for all
..... and to make her forget the agony
and discomfort
of the morning heat.
-------
Song Lyrics: "You were on my Mind" We Five
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Member: David Macdonald
Location: Prince Edward Island
Reviews written: 612
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About Me:
Alice, a story in nine parts, posted on Sept 24, 2008 - http://www.epinions.com/content_5241348228
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