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Simply_Crispy's Epinions Love-In W/O: Is it love, or is it...?Jul 24 '03 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line There's no bottom line where "love" is concerned...
Love is an overworked word. I love Penguinman and his daughters and my family and my friends and my cats, but I’ve never bought into the est-fueled belief that love is merely a function of time. (I once got into it with an estie who insisted that I spill my guts to him an hour after meeting because all it takes to go from acquaintance to friend to intimate is time, so why not compress the process? I insisted that his timeline discounts all discriminatory elements. I won - as far as my guts were concerned, anyway. Never saw him again. Schade.) Anyway, I’m quite reserved in my declarations and demonstrations of love. It simply isn’t possible for me to love people without knowing the contents of their souls, and that sort of knowledge only comes with time and prolonged and concentrated contact. That said, there are several people on this site whom I value and appreciate and respect and regard with great affection, or any combination of those sentiments. I don’t love them because I’ve never met them face-to-face - yeah, I know about all those people who fall in love over the ‘net, but I’m not one of them - and our souls haven’t touched, but my life is richer because of their presence in it, in however peripheral and incidental a way, and I look forward to learning more about both them and the things they write about when I see their names in my alerts. I sense that these people approach the world from a perspective very similar to mine; we share fundamental values and I feel that I can trust them completely, even though we may differ in some specifics. These are some of the people I’d like to meet and, who knows... perhaps grow to love. Before reading on, please know that it has taken me three days of fairly serious and concentrated thought to cut this list down to a manageable size. There are many, many other people here whom I really, really appreciate, but I had to limit this review or it would go all the way to next year. So here they are, in no particular order: Tlimjoco: Teresa is one of the most thoughtful, intelligent writers on the site. I first discovered her when I came across her incredible review of a rice cooker, fer cryin’ out loud, and immediately made a point of reading everything she wrote. She and I share a love of the music of Bach, to the extent that last year, she sent me the 2-disc DVD set of The 48 Bach Preludes and Fugues from the Well-Tempered Clavier as a gift because I had mentioned that I wanted to see it. I was greatly saddened when she left the site, and even more greatly overjoyed when I found that she'd posted a new review on July 23, her first in six months. I hope she’s really back, and I’d love to meet her face-to-face; she’s someone I’d like to have in my life. Prfstars: Melissa combines two qualities that I value most: intelligence and wit. She’s also articulate as hell, and somewhat sardonic. A scientist at heart, she holds strong beliefs and isn’t afraid to express them in equally strong terms. I first learned of her existence when she e-mailed me prior to naming me in a review she wrote - no, this is NOT quid pro quo, and no, I haven't returned the favor - and I found myself eagerly awaiting each new offering from her keyboard. I don’t always agree with her, but I love to read her stuff. Last Christmas, after she’d written a review of a commercial fruitcake - feh! - I challenged her to a fruitcake taste-off and delivered one of my home-made bricks to her in person, hoping mightily to meet her, but she wasn’t home. And now she’s moved out of state so I may never. But she’s way high on my list. Hadassahchana is another member who has disappeared from active participation on the site, and I mourn her departure. This is a woman of rare intelligence, sensitivity, and wit, and I’ve gobbled up everything she’s written. She’s had some difficult times recently and I’ve wondered how she and her four horsemen are faring, but I haven’t wanted to intrude on her privacy. I don’t “know” Cindy very well, but I’d like to. Is it “love”? No, but it certainly is appreciation, affection, and respect. Close enough. And finally (remember, these aren’t in order!) there’s badkittyM. I’ve only recently gotten to “know” her, but I sure do like what I see. Marcy is smart, funny, brave, outspoken, and scrappy. She’s also a survivor, and those are all qualities I cherish. She’s had a tough time of it and doesn’t take trouble from anyone. I often approach the issues in my life quite differently, but I’m filled with admiration and affection for her. She also embodies some of my most visceral fears and gratitudes; I’m a relinquishing birthmother, and she’s an adoptee, almost exactly the same age as my lost child, who got a raw deal with her adoptive parents. When I “look” at her, I see the worst - a bad adoptive situation - and the best - a survivor, bright, loving, and undefeated. What’s not to love? So there you have it. There are many other people I’d like to be able to add to this list, since I’ve redefined “love” to fit my own purposes: Grouch, who was so encouraging to me several years ago when I was about to quit because no one was reading me; The Worm, unfailingly kind and helpful - the consumate peacemaker; Pogomom, who has patiently worked, sometimes for months, to add weird products that I want to review; kcfoxy, who shares my love of cooking and has never failed to inform and amuse me... Is it love? Dunno. But I do know that everyone mentioned in this review has contributed in some important way to the value of my participation on the site, and that’s good enough for me. ***** This essay is part of Simply-Crispy's Epinions Love-In Write-Off. He hasn't listed the other participants anywhere that I can find, so click the link above and go to the Comments section to see who else is participating.  |
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